To tell people we're still renting when we bought outright.

[TheChosen]

DH and I recently moved house. Our previous house was a rental and we lived there for almost a decade. The old house was a small 2 bed flat where we lived with our 2DC.

The old rent was way below market rate as we had lived there for so long. We sacrificed living and outdoor space a little longer than we probably should have for the financial security and to allow us to build our savings. The smaller home/outgoings also allowed me to cut my hours to part time while the children were younger so we were happy to make the sacrifices as the benefits outweighed the cons.

Our local area is mostly made up of large new build houses that cost above average for the city we live in. All of our acquaintances and friends have much larger homes than us, and were often surprised when they discovered we lived in such a small, modest flat. Especially as we both have 'good' careers.

We have a combined income of approx 80-95k (depending on bonuses) and have managed to save a good chunk for a house deposit. The market has been terrible for a while and we haven't found anything we like, so decided to also look for bigger rentals to give us a little more space while we house hunt.

A 3 bed rental came up locally and we went for it. After a month of living there, the landlord had some major family issues and notified us they would need to sell unexpectedly. We still hadn't found a place to buy that we liked, then the landlord made us a great offer to buy our current place.

The cost of the house was less than our saved deposit so we decided to make a cash offer and buy the place mortgage free. The deal is finally complete and we are really happy here.

Here's the AIBU. Anytime someone finds out we've moved, the first question they ask is if we are still renting or have bought. I don't know why, but it's really bugging me. Never would it cross my mind to ask someone their renting/home owner status. I'm finding it very intrusive.

Would they still be asking this question if we had previously lived in a similar home to theirs? Do they see us being 'beneath' them for being renters rather than owners?

The first few times I was asked I simply changed the subject and didn't answer, but it keeps happening. These people aren't even close friends, just local acquaintances.

I've eventually started telling them we are still renting as I feel telling them we bought outright would open the door to even more uncomfortable questions.

Is it me, or is it intrusive of people to ask someone (that they don't know very well) this?

My real friends haven't once asked my rental/owner status. Why do random people seem to think they have a right to this knowledge?

AIBU to find this question intrusive and unnecessary?

Were you planning on buying a bigger house in a more desirable area? Are you ashamed of the house/area you bought into? If the deposit you saved was enough to buy a house outright you must have been saving for something bigger and better. Are you worried people will question why you bought in that particular location rather than somewhere nicer?

Not sure anyone with a mortgage on a recently bought new-build needs to be "smug", most of them need to get the debt paid off before AB triggers the bond market.

But it's not just the financial side. They're not asking "how much did you pay/are you paying?" They're asking if you own or rent because it impacts your life and security in your home.

People are so nosy. I’d say you’re squatting to shut them up.

Yes. It also impacts on what you talk about after.
I would never consider asking someone about redecorating rental for example. I know maybe handful of people over decades who were allowed to redecorate. It would seem like pretty shitty q to ask for me because it is usually not allowed.
Equally, I know maybe handful, if that of people who had that long term rent, let alone "well under market value" as well.

I think OP doesn't get the lack of congrats etc when moving rentals because OP was well lucky, not moving every year or so, having really cheap rent and being able to redecorate. Most people really don't have that in private rentals.

My longest stint in rental was one and half years....

Maybe people are surprised you’re renting if they know roughly what jobs you both do as this is the usual model. Depends where you are though because where I live (very provincial) attitudes to renters is really stigmatised and full of that snobbism (that I can’t fathom) whereas where I’ve lived before (major cities) it’s viewed completely differently.
Also maybe pple assume that as you were renting - if you then move - it’s just a natural question to ask - as in not bcos they’re being particularly intrusive but just what people say & do.
Finally - bcos owning your first home is seen as part of a trajectory in life, or stage, they maybe are thinking if you’ve moved onto that stage now in your life, as it is viewed as a more permanent, putting down roots kind of thing.
People are nosy & status obsessed though but doesn’t always mean they have ill intent. Often it’s just curiosity.

If it is a status /competitive thing - telling them you own it will correct them on that front. It wil only fuel curiosity however as to why you didn’t say so from the outset!