Was MIL the AH at my wedding?

[ellie09]

Hi all

I finally had my wedding a few days ago and there was a big MIL incident.

A few small things led to a pretty big incident.

1. Despite getting a dress that matched the bridal colour scheme, she changed her mind on the day and wore bright red which clashed with the rest of the bridal party

1. Kept my partner back in the morning when he visited despite him saying he really needed to leave to get to the venue, to the point he was almost late - just so she could get photos

1. Knocked back far too many drinks within the first 2 hours and was obliterated drunk

1. Didnt speak one word to any of my family members, kept turning her back to my mum etc

1. Brought confetti despite being told we didn't want any and the venue didnt allow it, then sulked and cried when we reminded her of both those points

1. Partner was rushing to pick something up for a photo opportunity that our photographer had with the sunset which was time sensitive as he had to go soon, but she was pestering him to "spend time with her", he simply said "I dont have time right now" which ended in her crying hysterically and partner at this point told her to just leave. She then rounded up his entire family, told them my partner had "screamed at her" and got them to all leave with her.. All before the first dance

The next day, she's ignored all our posts/photos but proceeded to comment "beautiful couple" etc under other family photos of other family couples. The only photos she has posted, none of us, only her, and a petty confetti cannon thing outside her house.

My partner has always had issues with her and said this was the last straw and doesn't want to speak to her again.

I soon removed them from all my socials etc so I wouldnt get wound up more.

All my partner has received from his mum is the fact we upset her, disrespected her etc..

Am I going insane or are we in the wrong here?

Your husband is right. Non contact. Forever. No more headspace, oxygen or attention. And move house, far from her if possible.

Don't try to force him to see her. She's abusive and he's right. He should have stayed non contact the first time.

Well hopefully she will stay NC with you and you can have a blissful life without her dramatics.

Dress - I wouldn’t care
Wanting pictures with her son - nice but a bit thoughtless
Getting drunk - rude
turning he back on people- rude
bringing confetti and crying- ridiculous
Stopping groom from leaving and crying hysterical- ridiculous
Asking mil to leave - rude and hurtful
Not posting on sm - non event

It sounds like she has form all you can do is enjoy and remember the positives of the day and it would be sensible for your dh to have firm boundaries going forward

Your DH is on the same page as you. You've removed her from socials.

Move on.

Your Mum-in-Law sounds like the stereotypical narcissistic MIL, and from what you've described, her behaviour is difficult to defend.

I'd echo what others have said, move on and forget about MIL. Concentrate on the positives in your relationship and the people who respect ans and value you and DH.

Congratulations BTW.

My mil our honeymoon
..
She hasnt been n our ives for years now.

That's been a decent compensation!

I hit YABU by accident! YA NOT IN ANY WAY BU! Cut her off, permenantly... along with any family that left with her. F*ck them!

Congratulations! 🎉 On both the wedding and on getting rid of what sounds like a massive PITA (MIL) 😂

Seriously though, she sounds quite self-centred from what you've said and it sounds like your DH is at his wits end with her.

Let her sulk and enjoy your married life ❤️

Dress wouldn't bother me. Up to her.

DH needed to just leave in photo situation

Blind drunk is the main issue

Your family dodged a bullet not having to talk to her.

Old women love confetti. Someone always sneaks it in. Crying over it would make her look like a massive knob.

Lying to family about situation making them leave is unforgivable. But why were they all so willing to just do as she said?

Your reaction seems fair to be honest. If it is the final straw for your husband then just don't respond. Block. Move on.

Congratulations BTW!

She’s just a nuisance drunk. I don’t think I’d give it any headspace.

Thoughts and prayers for the fact you’ll have to deal with this insane woman for the rest of her life. I would be cutting contact.

What a very silly woman to have behaved so badly and alienated her son and his bride! Word of warning, it's unlikely that your DH wanting nothing to do with her will last forever, especially if you have children. I see more shenanigans in your future!

Bridal colour scheme? YABU for that unless she was in the bridal party.

The rest YANBU.

How many guests left with her? Hopefully not too many. She sounds very manipulative.

She's an attention-seeking loon, your poor husband having to grow up with such a drama lama.

Some things you really need to ignore
the dress, the photos...
don't give her the reaction she wants.

But a mother trying to make the wedding about HER, being a nuisance to her own son? Of course you can't be BU.

Just ignore her. Your DH can see her on mother's day and her birthday, and you stay away.

I’m guessing this wasn’t out of character for her to behave like that. Me me me and a bit more of me. Centre of attention. Dreadful. I worked with a woman like this. Her son is getting married soon. I bet he’s dreading it x

She commanded his whole family to leave your reception early? That is 😳 She sounds bloody awful. I'd've kicked her arse out of the place long before that.

Why do grown people behave so selfishly?!

I genuinely don't get people like this, obviously here it's mainly MILs that you read about because it's mainly women posting but I'm sure there will be men with nightmare MILs to!
My sons wedding day last year was one of the happiest days of my life, loved every minute of it . Even if I hadnt liked etc his wife, which I do as she is an amazing person, I wouldnt have stressed my son out on his big day.

Even to mention the colour of her dress is a bit bridezillerish in my opinion - I can't stand this trend of expecting people to wear certain "colour schemes" at weddings. What happened to just inviting people and being happy if they could come and not caring what they wore (within reason).

But - she behaved badly. Not so much the getting drunk which is normal at weddings. But causing a scene and leaving early.

Have you forgotten you’re married now? Your partner is now your husband 😳

Ugh!! Kinda hoping hubby sticks to his promise of keeping her at arms length, what a MIL you just got!
No, you guys have done nothing wrong. Try to put it behind you and remember the good points about your day instead of her childish behaviour.

Mum wanted time and photos with her son on his wedding day nothing to see here. Honestly you ate making way more out of this than you need to.

Clearly you know what she is like and consistent

She sounds a mess of a woman and I’d be keeping my distance until she has the decency to apologise!

take your partners lead. He doesn’t want anything to do with her

so block her and just carry on that’s the best way to get her back