Husband having a go when I touch up make up on holiday

[Geoleo]

Does your husband have patience with you touching up your make up/putting in a few curls in your hair when you’re on holiday. Obviously in the morning we usually agree a time to leave the room so that’s less an issue. Although he does insist I do my hair / makeup in the bathroom and forbids putting on the light in the room which can be awkward when I need to look for items.

But if we go to the room for a freshen up he is completely on me and moaning if I decide I want to touch up my make up. Just saying “come on hurry up” “we’re wasting time” the entire time etc. Im definitely not putting on a full face just cleaning up lip liner/mascara or brushing my hair and reapplying deodorant. 10 mins at most. I don’t know his moaning has absolutely annoyed me. 10 mins either way should not make a difference to anything. Why can’t he just sit on his phone and not nag me for 10 mins. Is this normal?

i enjoy looking my best. I know not everyone cares for make up but I do

he nags non stop even if we have agreed I can have 10 mins.

I do remember being a bit hangry on a girls holiday whenever we'd "just pop back to the room on the way to dinner" and spend 45 minutes waiting for friends to redo their whole face. But if he has a problem, he should be speaking to you nicely to find a solution that works for you both, not being a dick about it.

If agreeing a going out time works in the morning, could you do the same in the evening? E.g. agree to meet at the restaurant at 7, you head back to the room at 6.30 while he stays by the pool or wherever.

Eh?! Either he is an absolute moron or you are not being entirely honest and it’s a lot more than 10 mins.

i would find that incredibly controlling and I am not a make up person at all.

Reminds me of those bored men who follow their wives around while clothes shopping…

I mean, the dictionary definition of vain is constantly caring what you look like, so it’s only factually accurate.

OP says she enjoys looking her best, so she likely accepts this facet of her personality - like I say, it doesn’t have to be seen as a flaw - I bet he appreciates the results.

To be clear, I voted YANBU! As much as it would quietly irritate me, I wouldn’t give you a hard time over it and would just entertain myself differently while you took your time.

How is this story relevant?

How many times a day?

How many times a day?

How many times a day?

No im sorry but that is not normal behaviour ...its controlling of him , you should be freee to do your hair , make up as and when you please and not feel like you have to oblige to HIS rules ..also the way you say he forbids you putting the light on is a major ref flag in my opinion , ...he doesn't own you and shouldn't try to tell you what to do and when .... stand up to hi. , explain this behaviour he is portraying towards you is not acceptable and if you want 10 mins or however long to freshen up then your totally entitled to do so ... its your holiday too and he should respect that .

Ffs I’m so sorry. I hate it when that happens

You’re a very nasty human.

Agree with everyone else he sounds like an arse and you need to spend less time together.

The only situation I can think of where you’re in the wrong is if you’re making him wait for you - ie wouldn’t be happy for him to go ahead and have a drink / swim etc. Or to pop back to the room on your own.

And just open the blinds when you need to. That but is ridiculous, anything post 8am is fair game.

Here here! No man would forbid me either!

Because we don’t know if the OP is expecting him to wait for her / accompany her back to the room multiple times a day etc

This reminds me of going away with a group of people and one having us waiting repeatedly and making us late several times during the day because she was retouching her make up and hair every time we went back to the room.

it is selfish and disconsiderate to the people who are waiting for you. If you do it once, fine. Several times a day during a holiday… unbearable.

@Megifer madness that one needs to spell these things out. It’s not exactly a cryptic analogy. Let me try again for you:

“It can be very tiresome to constantly wait for someone to touch up their make up. I experienced this once with a friend. It became so tiresome I ended the friendship.”

another poster not too many posts after me had their own little story about being on holiday and being frustrated by waiting for their girlfriends to re do their make up. Would you like me to explain that post’s relevance to you too?

I know, I dont think I've ever actually come across such a blatent woman hating post from another woman ☹️

Personally I would rather be vain than rude. I barely wear makeup because I look cracking without it but people aren’t being weird or self obsessed for wanting to look nice on holiday, for wanting their husband to fancy them ffs. Makeup is also fun and enjoyable for many people - should my husband get annoyed with me finishing the page of my book or the last few strokes of my drawing pencil because he’s decided we have to leave immediately…

Who made him the King? And who made leaving so important that your partner can’t be afforded a few minutes time?

You said your friend insisted you wait

Op doesnt insist her DH waits.

Your story was not relevant.

HTH

I think we need more info from OP to see if it’s a reasonable amount of time and he is being an arse, or if her husband is getting frustrated because she’s wanting to go back to the room 3 or 4 times a day to redo hair and makeup, meaning he’s waiting 20 / 30 mins by the time she traipses up to her room, does makeup and then makes her way back again?

Men have never, ever expected or asked me to ‘falsify’ myself in my entire life lol

In theory you should be able to have 10 mins to do what you need/want without getting complained at but are you choosing to do it just as you’re supposed to go out?

The lovely thing about holidays is actually having the time to be at leisure. Putting on a bit of make-up helps you feel nice. What’s the rush with him? He needs to chillax…

@Megifer they’re on holiday together. If he goes downstairs to wait for OP then he’s still waiting for her. If he’s on his phone watching something on the bed then he’s still waiting for her. What would NOT be waiting for her is if he decides he’s going to go out and do something completely different. I’m sure she’d be really delighted by that. Ultimately we don’t know how many times she’s doing this per day and also actually how long it is taking.

I kind of see it from both sides TBH, which probably means there's a compromise to be had. I'd guess that you are probably taking longer than you are letting on, and there are probably some miscommmunictions around when you are going to be ready to leave the room. Like others have said, if you're heat-styling hair and applying make up, that likely is more than 10 mins.
On the flip, you shouldn't have to tip-toe around the hotel room just because he leaves it 11th hour to roll out of bed for an arranged day trip.

If someone is chronically late or "just 5 more mins" that turn out to be 15 or 20 mins, that can be quite disrespectful to the waiting party.

I suggest heading back to the room for your own ritual 15 mins earlier than your OH goes to get ready. You'll be getting ready out of each others way, and there's no hanging around waiting.