AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

[GlasgowANN]

AIBU? My child is at a summer club and they want to take photos and videos of the kids. I've said absolutely no way. They then said my child would have to sit out whenever they were filming, which I'm not happy about because I don't think they should miss out. Now they're saying they just won't take any photos or videos of any of the children because of it, so everyone misses out. AIBU for not allowing my child to be filmed?

You aren’t being unreasonable at all. There are all sorts of reasons parents don’t want their child photographing and all are valid.

Can you suggest they take the pics they want to take but blur out your child or put a smiley over their face so they can’t be identified? That way they can get their pics and you can keep your child from being shown on photos.

I want to see photos and videos of my kids at summer scheme. If you dont then your dd sits out for the 5 min they are doing a video.

Is there a particular reason you dont want photos?

Why would they need to video kids? My kids never got filmed at summer clubs. I wouldn't want that either, is it going on their insta? If enrolling is conditional on being filmed they should have made it clear before you paid for your child. If it's only 2 minutes of sitting out that's ok, surely they aren't filming any more than that?

I don't allow my child to be filmed either - there is no benefit to the child so its just a no. And that's before you get to safeguarding and Deepfakes.

Eta, its refreshing to hear that they just won't film, instead of pulling kids out.

To be fair, the OP has the right to make this call; the reasons aren’t important.

The scheme should be sensitive about it but ultimately he will have to sit out as like a PP I rather like seeing the photos.

The holiday club is being unreasonable - they shouldn't be excluding children from activities because their parents don't want them photographed or filmed.

My son's school and holiday club both have very strict rules around photos and videos of the kids, mainly for safeguarding reasons (sometimes there are kids who have been relocated away from an abusive parent, and photos increase the risk of them being found, as some parents are clueless about privacy settings, etc).

It’s up to you if you don’t want your child to be filmed, but YABVU to complain that your child will have to sit out when filming is happening. This is not school, you have no reason to be difficult to wards the holiday club.

You have every right to not give permission for videos and photos.

You can't have it both ways though, either you give permission for media to be taken and accept that your kid needs to sit a few things out, or you allow them to be filmed. Other parents will want photos and videos.

There are benefits and drawbacks to filming activities and as part of activities.

You’re unreasonable wanting to be able to dictate exactly what happens. They’ve given an opt out, youve opted out. Opting out means missing out.

You've got what you wanted and there will now be no photos or videos for any parent so your child doesn't miss out by not being in an activity for 5 minutes. So exactly what more do you want. Validation for you position?
We don't know the reasons for your position, but there are plenty of potential reasons that are perfectly valid, but we can't have any opinion without knowing, and why should we know. We don't know if you ABU unless we know why you hold this position.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. They can still include your child and put a smiley over their face. Sounds like they are more bothered about advertising then having dun with the kids.

YANBU to not want your child filmed but you are unreasonable to insist they not be pulled aside for a moment for the filming as now its resulted in no one getting filmed and other parents might really want to see pictures and videos of their children having fun but you've prevented that. Just agree to your child not being in the pictures and videos.

It is a 2025/26 phenomenon; that a group shot of six year olds is akin to inviting the child catcher around for dinner

There are now a lot of emojis over children’s faces on any pictures we get from school. I do know sometimes there are important safeguarding reasons as to why this is the case but more often than not there aren’t. See also parents who want to be influencers on instagram but are clearly concerned about their child’s safety so stick an emoji over their face!

Sure say no and explain to your kids that they have to miss out expecting anything else is ridiculous

You don’t want you kid filmed. Fine.
They offered a solution, you didn’t like it. I think that was unreasonable, but to each their own.

They found a different solution. It’s not clear whether you’re happy or not with that?

What do you actually want?

Your child would miss out on what?

Filming is likely to take minutes unless the Panorama crew are going to be there?

This. Fine if you don’t want them filmed , but then you can’t then dictate that they miss out when being filmed.

It sounds like you got what you wanted (at the cost of other parents who might have wanted pictures) so why are you complaining now?

This. How entitled to spoil it for everyone else!

i also can’t stand this mentality where people think the world must cater to one person.

Why did you put "school" in the thread title when this isn't anything to do with school?

Going through a whole bunch of photos and videos obscuring multiple kids is a massive pain in the arse, and will undoubtably have to be done by some poor sod on min wage in their own time.

If OP doesn't want their kids photographed or video they can just sit out for a few minutes.

Well, was it or was it not in the Ts &C's when you signed your child up to the summer club that they would take videos?