AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

[GlasgowANN]

AIBU? My child is at a summer club and they want to take photos and videos of the kids. I've said absolutely no way. They then said my child would have to sit out whenever they were filming, which I'm not happy about because I don't think they should miss out. Now they're saying they just won't take any photos or videos of any of the children because of it, so everyone misses out. AIBU for not allowing my child to be filmed?

I don’t think anyone’s demanding anything, but it’s difficult when one side wants something and the other doesn’t.

Lots of people being unfair to OP here, I work for a film company and we film big group activities all the time and miss out people that dont give photo consent without them having to miss out on anything.
Unless it is literally a group photo (which they dont need) theres no reason they cant film around the child. To make this work better it is useful if the child wears a bright colour or something that stands out (eg no face shots of the child in yellow).

As a parent, I dont allow my child to be filmed either despite what I do for a living!! There are many valid reasons why. People are naive to the dangers of kids being put on socials these days. AI can do terrifying things to images.

You're not unreasonable to not want your child photographed or videod. That's your choice.

You are being unreasonable by then complaining that they'll have to sit out when videos/photos are being taken. It's usually just a couple of moments when they need to step aside. I do this all the time with my Brownies. I explain to the child that their parent doesn't want them to have their photograph taken and ask them to help me take the photo of the others. It helps reduce the disappointment the child feels as, almost invariably, the parent hasn't bothered to inform their child of their decision.

Parents: if you don't want your child to have their photo taken, make sure your child knows that.

You would have a point if OP was worried their child was being left out of photos, the concern was that their child would have to stop doing the activity that OP has paid for them to do so that the organisers can get free advertising material. An appropriate response from the organisers would be to simply not point the camera at the child without photo consent.

My daughter isn’t allowed in photos to be shared by her school so they just don’t photograph her. She has never been asked to stop an activity so that they can photograph. The only thing she’s ever told not to do (and actually it’s normally her reminding the teachers) is not stand in group photos.

As a film company, you are obviously going to be used to working around things like this.

We're talking about a summer camp type place here, probably (from experience) run on an absolute shoestring budget with min. wage staff. Clearly all they want to do is take a few pictures/videos of the kids to send to the parents and won't have the time to fanny about filtering kids out, cropping shots etc.

The choice will be either have the kids who can't be captured (for whatever reason) just step away for a minute or 2, or just not use cameras at all.

No one is talking about "excluding" a child, no need to be dramatic.

They're not going to film or take photos for hours on end. It just mean moving a child or taking a break for a few minutes during the activity.

If they play football and a few were substitutes, no one would say they were "excluded" if they all take turn, would they. It's just those parents being precious.

Not unreasonable at all! You have the right to choose how your child's image is used it's not that hard to cover over your child's face with an emoji or not take photos/videos on their table or group. Are the photos for social media purposes or for sharing with the parents?

You never know who knows someone or what someone will do with the photos though, especially for children who are adopted or have escaped DV especially.

No - you aren't being unreasonable to ask that your child's photo isn't taken, but you also should not be made to feel like you're causing an issue either. If the summer school decide on no photos at all, that's not on you. It's down to their confidence.

They are able to take photos of others and can do this without overly excluding your child.

It's not on you.

We’ve always been very cautious about photos being taken of our 2 DDs as they’re adopted. So IMO you’re not unreasonable at all.

You are not being unreasonable, what is the purpose for the photos and videos being taken? I totally understand your point of view.

Promotion, updates to parents, evidence fir Ofsted/regulatory bodies/funding.

The summer club at our school doesn’t take any photos or videos 🤷‍♀️

IRRELEVANT. If someone doesn't want their child photographed or filmed that's a good enough reason.

I don't give permission for this at my daughter's school either. She's been there three years now and it's never been an issue. At event days she (and others) wear a sticker that says 'no photos ' so the people taking pics don't do it by accident. And if they do then they know to edit her out

Absolutely unreasonable!jeezzzz they even said they'll do it Without your kids in them but you're still not happy!awful!

🤦‍♂️Don't send your child to summer camp....SIMPLESSSS!!!

Thinking back to my school days when parents refused, they would record everyone and sign a disclaimer to reassure those who do not wish to be included have their images deleted through editing. Now that was 20+ years ago. Whoever you're dealing with is being either a party pooper, manipulative or a creep...

I work in a school. We ask parents to be mindful of what they share on social media. They are not. On sports day last year for example many parents posted video footage of full races to socials. This meant we had to do a blanket ban on filming and photos going forward so as to not exclude children. Should we allow the filming and remove children from their class races because they have flown DV/been put in long term foster care because of abuse/been adopted and relocated from abusive birth family?

On my summer camp email I got a reminder to "Remember to make sure to click to consent for videography and photography!" FFS, absolutely not. Hate the way they worded it as well

I think unless there is a specific reason it’s a bit strange. Nice photos for your child to have afterwards isn’t it?

yanbu to not want your child in photos , but Yabu to complain about them having to sit out of them, you’ve spoiled it for everyone

I don’t see the other side to the AIBU.

Are you being unreasonable for demanding that everyone else’s enjoyment is spoiled just to suit you? I’d have thought the obvious and only answer is ‘yes’.

Not always this easy. The coaches/holiday club staff may not be the people using the photos for marketing, posting on social media etc. the safest thing is to not take photos at all of those who do not have consent.

i work for a community organisation and we have multiple groups taking place across locations. The session leaders know the people at their sessions and will know who has consent and who does not. When they submit those photos to the office, we would expect that if they appear in a photo then the relevant consent has been obtained - the volunteer who posts content does not know who the people are in the photo. If they know the name they can check the system but it’s unlikely they would know each person when we work with 100+ people each month. If someone does not have consent then they are asked not to be in the photo- or that photo is deleted before sending in to the office if they happen to be on one. They are not missing out on anything at the session other than a second or two taking a photo