AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

[GlasgowANN]

AIBU? My child is at a summer club and they want to take photos and videos of the kids. I've said absolutely no way. They then said my child would have to sit out whenever they were filming, which I'm not happy about because I don't think they should miss out. Now they're saying they just won't take any photos or videos of any of the children because of it, so everyone misses out. AIBU for not allowing my child to be filmed?

FFS you have to make up your mind are you in or out. Same happened at our school and no one got a group photo of a once off ceremony because of one parents preference.
You have decided that you dont want your child in photos or videos. That's perfectly ok.
But your child therefore has to sit to the side while said photos or videos are being taken if other parents have agreed its ok for theirs to be included.
Your job is to explain to your child that this might happen and why you dont want them included so they are aware they will be sitting to the side and then everyone can live life as they want. Its not fair to expect organisers to explain to your child. Whats also not ok is the entitlement that because you dont agree then everything has to stop.

Honestly? I think you behaved really badly. Fine, no photos of your kid, but freedom of choice is not freedom of consequence, and you kicked off badly enough to spoil it for everyone else. Thats super entitled. I assume this is why you are asking; yes, some of the other parents (who also paid for the club and may have delighted in having a nice photo of their child having fun) probably are unhappy with you.

To moan, clearly

It’s highly likely the holiday club will ask your child to briefly sit out for the time they’re photographing and filming anyway.

YANBU.

It’s extremely common and normal for people filming to only film children who are allowed to be filmed. I have led large filming projects for a public sector organisation and all we do is put stickers on the children without permission and work around it.

10 years ago I probably would have said you were being precious but in this day and age it’s very dangerous to have your child’s picture online. Your child should not have to sit out of activities you have paid for because they can’t be bothered to film carefully.

You aren't for deciding on a no photos. You are for demanding your child doesn't sit out the few minutes they're filming. Its not like they're making lord of the rings...its going to be a few minutes

For crying out loud, they are being unreasonable. There are a multitude of reasons some kids cannot be filmed, they need to work around that without excluding anyone. How hard is it to film and photograph the other kids around your child not being in frame? It’s not. They are being ridiculous.

Is this not a reverse?
Op wanted photos and has been told that someone complained so they're not doing any photos.

Take her out. You're clearly not a fit for each other.

I think you are being a little disingenuous here. We all know what at (at least one of) the other children's parents will do with the photos - they will share them more widely.

Another example where everyone has to sacrifice for the one. They offered you a reasonable compromise and you refused.

This sort of thing always makes me laugh. The same people who are up in arms about the school/holiday club filming or taking photos of their child are the same ones who stick their 6 year old in front a screen all day and give them their own phone by 8.

The real danger is from young children given free access to the internet where they can be groomed.

Unless you have good reason to be concerned about your child being identified by their abusive father then no one is interested in your kid. There are kids in bikinis, swimwear etc on loads of store websites that are freely accessible. People can take their own photos and videos of any old kid on the beach wearing next to nothing. No one is interested in your kid in their 10 second holiday club video.

They are being arseholes.

Absolutely sick of this type of parenting.

You don't want her filmed. Perfect
We won't film her. So she steps aside a moment....
But no! Mum has big tantrum, protests unreasonably. School has no choice.
Everyone misses out because of your entitlement and unreasonableness..

Schools can't win with this type of parent.
YABVU. Grow up OP

I hate situations when the exception has to prevail and everyone else has to bow to them.
.selfish, entitled and self-centred.

Your kids sitting for 5 mins when filming would have coped. Instead, the others will find out from their parents that they won't get memory picture because of your kid.

You're not being unreasonable. They want to film for marketing purposes, which is also not unreasonable, but if you don't want your kid on social media, that is the beginning and the end of it. Your kid, your call.

At least half, if not more, of my DC's class at school are blurred out of photographs.

Someone on minimum wage will be working an 8 or 9 hour day. What difference does it make if they spend 20 minutes of it putting smiley faces over faces? Probably more relaxing than dealing with 30 kids.

We don’t have social media so always so no too. We won’t see it so it’s literally only strangers seeing her photo. Anyway, it’s just a fact that she will miss out on group photos or an activity that is being filmed - it isn’t the end of the world. Until she can give consent herself it’s just one of those things!

Not everyone refuses photographs just down to preference. Children from situations of domestic violence are usually not photographed for safety reasons. I've read about schools massively screwing up and using these photographs on SM.

I might be deluded but as a parent, I don't want my child's image used on random SM. It's inappropriate. If I choose to put it on mine, it's different and has a limited audience.

Photos and videos for what reason? To share in private groups/comms to parents? We typically say yes, unless we have reason to think they wouldn’t stick to it. To post for their promotion in general materials leaflets/website - potentially, it depends on their reach, funding, etc.-but now, thinking with AI, will likely say no to that going forward. To post on social media either advertising or their public page - absolutely not. So for me it very much depends.

Saying no photos or videos is fine it’s your choice but if others are happy then your child will have to sit out for a couple of minutes.

These photos/videos are usually used to advertise the club so they get more numbers in to keep them running.

I would put money on you moaning if they closed from not enough children attending.

I run children's classes in a performing arts subject.
We ask for permission for filming and photos.
Photos are easy, we just pop a blur or a sticker over their face, but I helped on a school trip the other day and they literally just asked the kids that can't be photos to pop to oneside for a second. Videos can be trickier. If possible (eg they aren't moving around) we pop them on the end of line whilst filming and crop them out. If it's say a moving dance routine that they have all learnt we will do it twice, once for everyone and once for filming where the children who can be filmed sit out briefly.

You are totally in your rights to not want your children filmed, and we have had many foster children who absolutely cannot be shared publicly. But you can't dictate that other parents cant have recordings of their children.

That said...they dealt with it badly, by being pushy and acting like it was an inconvenience, when it could be a serious safeguarding issue.

They should not be saying your kid must sit out. They need to avoid showing your child's face and if it is shown then it should be blurred or their image fully edited out. That's not difficult with editing now. It's perfectly reasonable to decline your child be identified.

A lot of PP missing the point.

Schools will never video or photograph kids without permission. So no problem.

OP made it a problem because she kicked off at her kid having to step aside whilst other kids ( whose parents HAVE given permission) are filmed.
Oh no...not making HER daughter miss out.
Make everyone else's.

Oh, I remember those complaints 'Why aren't there any photos of my child doing fun things? It's just favouritism'. Uh, no, you returned the form stating that you did not consent to photos being taken.

You expected us to contact you on special occasions to ask specifically if we could take a photo? Well, here are the contacts where we gave parents a choice to consent specifically for one thing and here are your responses saying absolutely not.

Do any of the other parents have photos of your child doing those activities? Well, no because you refused consent to have photos taken and we followed your wishes.