To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

@Mermaidmusing Fair enough. What would you call yourself if you ever married?

@walrushurricane Well clearly being married - to a man - is far more important to declare than years of hard work and blood, sweat and tears to become a Dr or Professor.
Worse still - as a Ms they might (wrongly) assume I am divorced or a lesbian.
We must indicate to the world we are married to a man and show that we are proud of that at all times.

Well I’m not married so I don’t crow about anything! The difference is that we are routinely asked to give a title when filling out forms, enrolling for things, etc, and traditionally for women, that has been a choice of Miss/Mrs and latterly Ms. Rightly or wrongly. No need whatsoever to use a title that tells us your academic achievement. That is showing off.

No problem with Dr for a MEDICAL doctor, or Rev for a vicar, those are professional titles.

Personally I think Spanish has the best solution where Senorita and Senora are used, based mainly on age, with Senora being more respectful.

@Mermaidmusing So if you married, you and your wife would be what titles?
It makes me smile when people have argued that all lesbians use Ms. Absolute rubbish! I know quite a number of married lesbian couples and they have all chosen Mrs and Mrs.

Good question! I was engaged some time ago and considered this. I would still be ‘Ms’ and I wouldn’t change my surname. But that’s partly because I have an unusual surname and partly feeling too old to change at my age!

Dr is also one of the titles in the options when routinely asked though. It's never not offered as an option. That is why some women choose it because they would rather do that than pick a title that is based on marital status. Why should they pick a title that causes assumptions on marital status rather than one based on academic qualifications? Also Dr is a professional qualification if you work in academia and they were doctors first. Medical doctors were given the title later on.

I work in Higher Education - we use Dr at work. It's not something I roll out on the daily, outside work; just when I feel arsey, when folks won't use Ms!
Anyway, historically, the PhD Dr is the 'real' one, and the Medical Dr is just a custom and practice thing (started in the 1700s in Edinburgh.) Given it took me 4.5 years, alongside full-time work, and nearly caused a breakdown, to gain my PhD, I'll use it when I feel like it. 😂

Annulment because of non-consummation shouldn't even be an option.

Nobody has the right of access to another person's body. No-one.

If I married and my dh refused to have sex after the ceremony I'd be disappointed but I'd respect that it was his body and his choice , he should also respect that it was not something I could live with.

It's nobody's fault that's why I'd ask for a no-fault divorce.

Fair enough but what is that to do with titles?

Because the OP is OK with this ancient, archaic bit of law but gets upset if somebody calls her Mrs.

To my mind, the former is far worse owing to the implication that somebody now owns your body because you married them.
Far worse than being called Mrs.

I doubt the archaic bit you are talking about has effected anyone negatively though. I bet it has only been used by religious people who want to use it to avoid divorce and that's up to them. I've only known Catholics to get an annulment so they can remarry in church and they didn't use non consummation. And it effects nen and women equally.

He isn’t ‘your Mr’ in the same way though is he? He was already that same Mr before you met. He would be that same Mr if he divorced you. He will always be that same Mr.

You became ‘his Mrs’ when you got married.

Not the same.

I like it. The emphasis for me here is “free”. Very apt!

She's proud to be associated with him and is proud to be called a title that says they're married.
That's not hard to understand.

The cynic in me cannot help but think that some women would not object too strongly (politely pointing it out that you prefer to be called Ms is different) about being called Mrs if they were married to Brad Pitt.

@QuintadosMalvados Well I don't fancy Brad Pitt in the slightest. But if I was married to him I would still absolutely be Ms MyName! Might consider Ms MyName-Pitt though...
Are you suggesting for those of us who are Ms, we are "disasocciating" ourselves with our husbands (or something as equally misogynistic?)

@Wishitwasstraightforward What's a "manly man" in your opinion? Are only "manly men" good looking? 😀

Nothing like shaming or "othering" women who want to change outdated conventions.

My dad was born in the 30s, he'd think your mother was practically victorian with that attitude.

Ironic you mention Brad pitt as I think all his wives (or ex wives) kept their own name so probably would have been ms and it certainly didn't mean that they were not associated with him.

@walrushurricane And of course both Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston were/are both very attractive and successful actors in their own right. Neither name changed.

This is ridiculous.

Brad Pitt is obviously shorthand for a man who is deemed to be extremely attractive.
Does not have to be Brad himself.

So?
They're exceptionally famous actresses.
They're not going to change their stage names.
They're not Mrs, sorry, Ms Average are they?

@QuintadosMalvados You're digging yourself an even deeper hole here. So the "average" woman aspires to be a Mrs Hisname then do they?
And they did not just retain their "stage names" btw - they retained their legal names.

Exactly