To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

Exactly, this is the nub of why women changing their name is so anathema to me.

It's always the woman that has to accomodate the man. It's always the woman that is inconvenienced, held back, made to concede, made to expect less. Fuck. that. shit.

OK.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge.
So by marrying the assumption is that the husband is the father of the wife's child if not stated otherwise?
I thought this is the case.

I find this kind of comment so so stupid. Just because somebody posts about something relatively trivial, it doesn’t mean that they have nothing else serious going on in their life? When my daughter was very unwell in hospital, I could still get annoyed by small things. They aren’t mutually exclusive, you know. And sometimes it is easier to focus on minor irritations and distract from the serious stuff.

Do you not like feminism then? No need to answer. The phrase ‘feminist hysteria’ says it all.

It (annulment of marriage on grounds of non-consummation) has no place in today's society.
None.
It is archaic. Requires people to disclose their sex life in a court and it is fucking disgusting that it remains. I mean that.

It cannot reasonably be proved, anyway. What are we supposed to do - give women internal exams?
Put CCTV in people's bedrooms to get to the truth in a situation whereby one person said they had sex, and the said they did not. Seriously?!

The concept of a marriage being treated as if it never existed because sex did not take place after the marriage service belongs to the frigging dark ages.

I'm sorry I couldn't take your initial complaint about being called Mrs and the fuss seriously before.
I mean just politely tell people for heaven's sake.

Now I simply cannot take any your views on the patriarchy and marriage etc seriously.

I

It probably just requires both people to say it wasn't consummated and has probably only happened after extremely short marriages where couples split up within a few hours. It's just a way of avoiding divorce.

Yeah, so you admit it's trivial. Great.

It is.

@QuintadosMalvados And yet more internalised misyogny comes out from you with your assumption it would be the man requesting the annulment. Why is that?
I am a woman and, if my husband willingly refused (for no genuine reason) to have sex with me after we married, I'd seek an annulment with no qualms.

No. I don't think so. They can be in disagreement and I think it's 3 years.

Three years.

It shouldn't be there anyway. What century are we in here?

Look I can't speak for feminists but I do think that I'm on safe ground by saying that a lot of them are against it.

You must understand, this thread is trivial enough for the poster to wish she had nothing else to worry about, but important enough for her to take time away from those worries to say how unimportant it is.

I chop and change between Dr and Mrs and usually don't mind which one people use - apart from a couple of occasions. I was able to put a mansplaining shop assistant in his place when he asked whether I was Miss or Mrs, and I got to reply "actually, it's Dr." Less satisfying was the card addressed to "Dr and Mrs Melisma". DH's title is also doctor, but it's funny how it's never "Dr and Mr Melisma". 🙄😁

I think it's really rich that somebody who is OK with the concept of annulment on grounds of non-consummation is accusing ME of misogyny.

Not all wedding vows are the church ones! I didn't vow to honour OR obey my husband!

@QuintadosMalvados Absolutely nothing inequitable with both parties having the right to annul a marriage!

@Waheymum
In this instance, @walrushurricane was referring to the poster who did agree to obey her husband within her vows.

Well ‘relative’ to illness, death, bankruptcy yes. Do you understand the term ‘relatively’? And do you understand the idiocy of your comment about ‘I wish I had nothing else to worry about’?

My kids’ school was great. They always wrote to ‘Mr and Dr x’ and never once slipped up.

Are you saying the ‘third world’ doesn’t have these issues? BTW we don’t use these terms any more.

My family come from a very poor country. But I can assure you, they worry about the same stuff we do here, big and small, petty dramas etc. It’s so patronising to suggest otherwise.

Yes I appreciate women can do it too.
So what?
Just because it can be shit for men too doesn't make it right.

If you think that invasive questions in a courtroom (I understand that they don't have to agree about whether or not sex took place) about a person's sex life is OK to annul a marriage but a person calling you Mrs is worthy of outrage, then I genuinely do not understand your views at all.

It winds me up too. I have been divorced for many years. I have never called myself Mrs, never introduced myself as Mrs but still get the assumption of Mrs frequently. If you’re going to make an assumption why not go with Ms?

@QuintadosMalvados So what would you choose to do if you married a man and he willingly refused to have sex with you from the get go? I'd exert my legal rights and request to annul.

There wouldn't be inquisitive suggestions in a court room. If both parties said the marriage wasn't consummated that would be enough I am sure.

Theoretically they may be able to disagree but it obviously couldn't be proven one way or another so I am sure in reality they do have to agree

IRL I'm Mrs Android. My DH, however, is Mr Somethingelse. 😂Our choice. No problems. The cats seem to alternate: the current one is Catsname Android.

Miss, Ms and Mrs mean different things, you marked that you were married so its the obvious honorific , how is anyone supposed to intuit you are going against the norm, get over yourself FFS 🤦