To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

@walrushurricane I didn't do the research? Perhaps argue it with those that did.

The number of your replies on this thread is a pretty good indication of how outraged you are. 🤷‍♀️

Do you really think people only post on threads if they are "perpetually outraged"?

Argue what?

Yes, social perception and demographic research indicate that women who use the title Ms. are stereotyped and statistically correlated with being more educated, more career-oriented, and professionally focused than women who use traditional titles. 1, 2]

Sociological and Demographic Perceptions
Achievement Orientation: Sociological studies on the "Ms. stereotype" show that people consistently perceive women who choose Ms. as more assertive, achievement-oriented, and better educated compared to those who use Miss or Mrs.. 1, 2]
Professional Correlation: Historically popularized during the second-wave feminist movement, the neutral honorific Ms. was intentionally adopted by professionals and higher-status or higher-income women who wanted an equivalent to the marital-status-neutral Mr. 1, 2, 3]
General Usage Today: While Ms. is now widely adopted as a default polite norm across many demographics to avoid assumptions about marital status, its earliest and strongest statistical association remains linked to higher levels of educational attainment and workforce participation. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Sage Journals

Is there anything worse than ‘Mrs’. I really struggle to understand how anyone could WANT to be called that . Like Mrs. Doyle in Father Ted .
Conjures up images of tan tights wrinkling around your ankles .
And don’t even start me on how sexist it is to define women by marital status but not men ……..

Totally with you OP and I would correct the surgery .

I'm sure that was hard. I expect you must be pleased about the greater usage of Ms and more women keeping their own names than back then? Makes it harder to tell someone's status from their surname and title.

Is that really all you’ve got to worry about?

Get a grip.

Is that to me? Why would I argue with that?

To assume a woman is "Mrs" could be classed a "microtrauma".
If people assume I am one, I correct them.

If OP had posted this on feminism, she'd have got more YANBU.

It's by chipping away at the patriarchy that women claim their rights.
Language matters.
As does not sexualising female athletes with camera angles and sexist uniform rules.

It is not remotely disrespectful, no.

The language convention is to use Mrs for a married women. Your dentist has a system set up to manage their bookings and deals with thousands of interactions a year and the system is set up to best cope with the norm.

It is entirely your prerogative to decide you want to do it differently but it is unreasonable to get cross that it is not always catered for 100%.

I love that this is the anti-patriarchy hill that you've decided to die on.

I hate that people are so easily offended, and demand respect from strangers.

If it offends you that badly then maybe you need to work on how strangers are able to upset you so easily. Maybe work a bit more on not caring what other people think, and understanding that people are nuanced and that your feelings aren't facts. These people aren't being disresepctful, you just find it disrespectful because you don't like it.

And before you come for me, I understand the patriachy in the name change, and I am a feminist... I just think that there are so so many worse things to be offended by.. i.e. the Pink tax, emotional load, pay inequality - to name a few.

I work in the building industry, and nobody takes me seriously on site - when my husband comes with me they're totally different and I get comments like "the boss is here, is he" even though I am the boss... I don't let it offend me, because lifes too short.

Why is it a ‘micro trauma’ to use Mrs for a married woman? That is the language convention so to be fully expected if you say you’re married.

I think going down the route of labelling polite social conventions as ‘micro traumas’ is dangerous to people’s mental health and sets up unrealistic expectations and a victim mentality.

@ReginaPhalange1989 And you are a Mrs HisName may I ask?

Exactly. I teach my daughters resilience which seems to be lacking in many these days.

I also work in a company of tradesmen and they try their best to be polite and they mean well which I appreciate.

"...f you say you’re married"...

Well quite. If you say you are married then it's highly likely that the woman will be called Mrs, whether she is one or not.
However....when you haven't said you're married, but you are called Mrs anyway....well fuck that. Don't prejudge me by your patriachial frame of reference.

I am a MS.... but you can call me whatever the f**k you like and I wont be offended 😅People often call me a MRS and I sometimes correct them but honestly, it doesn't matter...

I dont die on this hill, but it is a common hill, and I like to take a bulldozer to it.

Is it that deep??

I am, is that considered wrong now or something? 🙄

It takes a lot more resilience to stand up against this sort of prevailing wind than it does to conform.

Want any evidence of that, all you need to do is look upthread.

How pathetically reductive. Of course people post for other reasons. However, your overbearing and vociferous defence of Ms and insistence that those of us who are indifferent to it are poorly educated strongly suggestive that this is a subject that you are taking extremely personally.

Call me Ms, Mrs, Dr. It simply does not matter.

Just people who disagree with her, most likely. The rest will be fine!