To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

I have tried not ticking a box but the computer usually says no actually.

Ok, but I think if you’re honest you know what people think when a ‘ms’ comes along.

Well, I'm in America and at least where I am it would not even come up. I cant remember the last time (if ever) that I was called Ms or Mrs LastName at any doctor/dentist. Here everyone is just called by their first name. And yes, that includes the doctor/dentist. We all call each other by our first names. In fact the only place I ever get referred to by MIss/Ms/Mrs LastName (and actually its just my last name initial) is by the kids at the school I work at. So Miss D, Ms D or Mrs D. I get called all of them, but dont care which one the kids use.

mine too, messages, calls, in person - I fill in forms in my name
(one’s name being what one is known by)
the marital status box is for anyone to know how to address one!!!
which I ignore, my name being my name
plus!
ms is difficult to say/pronounce and still baffles many,
whereas Mrs.
is easier, more of a coverall, as Madame in France,
Madam here
having different connotations, post Cynthia Payne.

if a consultant for instance refers to or addresses me as Mrs then
I appreciate the formality and respectful courtesy
if they address me by my name that’s fine too

(however, with any nurse suggesting that I “just pop up here for me”
my name, that is a different scenario altogether as it is disrespectful,
informal, discourteous - see the difference?)

Mmm, I suspect you probably do think that. It's a shame for you.

Why do you have to guess my marital status?

Apart from some legal requirements or maybe next of kin in some circumstances I genuingely cannot see why me being single, married, civil partnered, divorced or whatever makes a jot of difference to anyone.

So again, why do you need to know if I'm married or not? Why do you care?

You're wrong. You're a Mrs if you choose to be. Also it's not 'pandering' to address someone the way they want to be addressed.

Then go for the one which appeals to you. I imagine a title is a nice little census for said company.

You could always complain? Ask them to remove it? But being angry and thinking it should be law is not going to happen.

I suppose if someone's got designs on you it might be important. Wouldn't want to waste one's time proposing to a lady already taken.

Of course there is a difference between calling you Jane and calling you Mrs/Ms/Miss Smith. No one is disputing that as far as I can see. But in that context a title, is a title, is a title.

You say Mrs suits your surname better, fine but that is a completely different point. Which actually reinforces the idea of choice.

A dr treating my ingrown toenail doesn't need to know if I have a husband in the same way he doesn't need to know if a man has a wife.

You can easily spot people’s reactions. The smirks, the subtle eye rolls, the comments. I see it all the time whenever someone says those words: “actually it’s Ms”.

as in, finding and securing the services of a competent, well qualified, experienced, pleasant, centrally located, well supported, well recommended, dentist

However do women cope not knowing a man's marital situation based on his title?

Again, I expect you probably do, and it's a shame for you. It would be unpleasant to move only in such circles.

It appears many women nowadays are even offended if they are described as a woman & not a person, never mind announcing their marital status with the innocuous term MRS. I would hate to go about my every day life with so much resentment towards men or should that be people with a penis?🤔

I am not going to complain to individual companies. It will be whoever designed their IT system anyway (probably men). It requires a societal change. It will happen eventually as it has in other countries. For the time being, i choose a random one every time.

The struggle is real!

I know, right? It's as if the entire measure of a woman's worth is her ability to catch and keep a man. (Hard eyeroll).

And everyone can see how silly people look rolling their eyes and sniggering over someone's title. Tbh if soneone cares that much about me being Ms, then I really would have to worry about them.

I've seen a significant increase in professional correspondence referring to Ms. After all, they can't assume Miss/Mrs.

Lol.

I couldn't care less what title I get, at worst I just correct it or ask them to correct it.

I always find women getting their knickers in a twist about that very amusing.

I don’t think that’s the case, but I can see why you’d like to think it.

Honestly I think general winding down of title usage is probably going to sort this one out.

similar to buying property in France in one’s maiden name, paying taxes and utilities from a French bank in one’s current name, having the clerk in the water board describing this as ‘bizarre’ as though the customer made the rules?!
at least Madame is a coverall, no more Mademoiselle

It won’t. It’s not on the governments radar. I will continue to choose whatever title I wish. Because I can. That’s why there will be no law. The majority are not calling for it. You could start a change petition if you wanted?