To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

It's not mandatory. I don't.

Yes, I don't see it as any different to when I have given my children's names and then they've asked for my name, to which I've said my first name and they ask 'same surname?' It's just a question, I don't get offended over it

Ms is for women who don't want to announce their marital status to the world. I use it and I'm married.

But she said she does?

Cheeseandolivesplease · Yesterday 22:37

• *Another incorrect assumption. My husband and my daughter both share the same last name as me.

I think titles are unnecessary and we should give them up on all the forms.

Okay.

Just be aware that there are going to be many other women that were raised to believe that Ms was the term someone used when they were divorcing. If I met you and you introduced yourself as Ms Nutbrownhare..I would immediately still assume your marital status anyway! Wrongly, obviously.

I wouldn’t mind at the dentist because I see them rarely. I do mind that I have asked the bank to stop printing Mrs on my replacement credit cards and the school sending all their correspondence to Mrs, despite being corrected.

Men don’t need to declare their marital status as part of their name or identity.

This may have been the case in the seventies but surely we have all moved past this now? Are we not an adaptable species?

I am married and I go by Ms too OP (& I kept my maiden name). I don't think it's fair than men are Mr whereas a women's title is determined by whether she is married or not. I don't get annoyed by other people calling me by the wrong title or surname though. It takes society time to catch up sometimes.

When my dc asked (we live abroad, where every adult woman is addressed the same) I told them Mrs means married, Miss means unmarried, Ms means none of your fucking business.

Then those other women are ill informed because that was never the case. Historically, Mrs Jane Smith denoted a woman was divorced. Archaic now.

Well yes clearly, every day is a school day, as they say!

I learnt today that some married women insist on being known as Ms.

I remember the shock from my parents that my auntie refused to take her husband's surname when they married..but I've no idea whether she used Ms maidenname or Mrs Maidename.

You’re being deliberately disingenuous.

That is the only reply this post merits.

If you didn’t want to be a Mrs or a wife or married why did you arrange a marriage?

@stillhiding1990 Oh yes - I only should have got married if I was happy to become Mrs HisName - silly me. I shall tell my husband to file for divorce immediately and find a woman that will accept this. He's horribly offended with my choice, you know.

Nice one

Also, why the shame about being divorced?
If people (wrongly) assume I am divorced because I go by Ms, then that's on them, but some of the strongest women I know have escaped abusive marriages. To mind mind they have every right to hold their head up high for their courage, not be ashamed one iota about leaving.

But why did you get married if you don’t want to be? You seem to want to make it clear publicly that you are not a Mrs, you want to be single - that’s fine,!8 just don’t think marriage was the right move for you with these strong views?

Funny how men aren't expected to give up their identity on marrying.
Ms always for me, regardless of whether I'm married, divorced or single.
Doctor's receptionists are the worst at this ime.

Maybe she loved him or summat

I can choose to marry without having to change my given names, or my title to indicate my relationship to a man. I chose not to be defined by being a wife, just as a man doesn’t give his title or names away when getting married. My marital status is part of me, not all of me.

Who mentioned shame?

I can't see anywhere that anyone has mentioned divorce is shameful?

Seriously??

But why not just live together if you don’t want everything that comes from marriage? Why was it the right choice for you if you hold those views?

@stillhiding1990 You're clearly pulling my chain. But applying your theory to your own marriage, your husband is desperate to be single.
Tbh you're just being daft (and sexistl).
No further response needed.