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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is going on in this house?

429 replies

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 18:14

Right, this is going to sound nosy but here goes...
A house in a street I know was owned by an old lady with no family. When she died, her house stood empty for nearly a year then it started having work done. It's been bought by a health service far away from he town we live in (think I live in Liverpool and NHS Devon and Cornwall bought it) BTW these are not the real locations. So, they do lots of renovations, including putting a much higher fence up which has a key code entry they also put frosted film on every window. There's a new build extension on the side with coded keypads too. This is where 2 carers are. There are 4 carers altogether, 2 at a time and then a swap. There is one man who lives there . He is in his 30s , able bodied can move well etc I've seen him once or twice in the garden in a whole year. Another twice I saw a darkened van come to get him. He was only gone for an hour or so then back.
I cannot imagine the scenario this might be. I'm not curtain twitching and permanently watching but I am fascinated.

OP posts:
ThreadGuardDog · Today 20:52

Aluna · Today 20:09

So essentially your mother was living with family - who are primary carers and the social care was simply in addition.

That’s a very different scenario from someone who lives alone. With later stage dementia 4 visits is nowhere near sufficient, they need someone with them 24/7.

For social care assessment the value of a person’s home is included as total capital if moving into a care home, but generally ignored they stay in their own home.

Your mother did neither - so I guess you didn’t sell her home when she moved in with you otherwise its value would have counted towards her total assets and presumably she wouldn’t have qualified for state care.

You certainly can move a person into a care home against their will if they lack capacity (assuming they actually understand the question). It may be the only way to safeguard them.

Mum didn’t have a house to sell. And her income meant that she made a considerable contribution to her care package - LA care isn’t based on assets and savings alone. Having said that, the cost would have been considerably more to the tax payer had she needed residential care.

And yes, l acknowledged that we were lucky to be in a position to be available to help. Even the LA social care adviser admitted it was unusual because most families run a mile when they hear the word dementia. But l wouldn’t characterise the care provided by the LA as simply an addition. The services that were engaged were an integral part of her care as we are both in our later years and have health problems of our own. We couldn’t have managed without the support we had.

To move someone into a care home against their will is very difficult, and rightly so. As her LPA it was made clear to me that capacity is considered fluid and that all decisions l made for her should be at a suitable time to allow her as much input as possible - periods of lucidity were fairly frequent until the last year of her life and l had to take this into account. Clearly where there are safeguarding issues, then moving into care would be appropriate but IME with mum, her wishes were considered as far as possible.

Blueberrybonanza · Today 20:57

Aluna · Today 20:16

I did read the thread, it’s a moot point who was more argumentative tbh.

Another inflammatory poster
edited to say I can see you are also doing it to others, so I wont take offence, feel free to report my posts if you feel they are argumentative

ThreadGuardDog · Today 21:03

Aluna · Today 20:29

I’ve never said anything of the sort.

But discussion of the increasing numbers of dementia patients is an important consideration within social care. State 121 care is not available at home for elderly people for more than 4 short visits a day unless they require complex care. Once their money runs out they are generally put into care homes which can be very patchy in terms of care provision.

I don’t think the poster was insinuating that you had said anything like this, but some posters were leaning towards it. And the provision of care for younger people with difficult to manage conditions is a very different conversation to that of elderly care because the needs are very different.

ThreadGuardDog · Today 21:14

Pileoftrash · Today 18:59

No rage here, simply surprised that this is a thing that happens, never heard of it before. Still can't quite believe the state pays for this (given the dire situation most public services find themselves in), there must be a very good reason for it.

I am aware of sheltered housing (& have two of these schemes v near me) and I have a friend whose disabled brother requires 24 hr 2-on-1 care and lives in a home so just assumed these were the only options.

Of course these are expensive too. And of course I am very happy to pay for this via tax.

Having an individual on their own with multiple carers seems very risky in terms of quality of care, there is something reassuring about a more communal setting with constant management presence etc. But I guess the risk of having them near others must outweigh this risk.

Still wild that this is a thing imo!

Some MH conditions are inappropriate for more traditional care settings though. As l said upthread, many families across the country are struggling with violent and disruptive family members, much of the time without little or no support, simply because there aren’t enough of these types of facilities available. In these cases it’s placements within more traditional care settings which would be risky, if not impossible.

I think this has been highlighted recently with the two very high profile cases mentioned upthread. Rather than being the fault of the disabled people in question they were as a result of fundamental failures in care and risk assessment.

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