Clique school mums

[ernie23]

what is a cliquey mum group?
how would you describe them ? Do you believe that term , have you ever been involved ?

This is no hate, just genuinely what to know what people think of that term or their experiences on why would you call them like that .

Oh fgs, seriously?

You don't think people make assumptions about others based on how they look and sound. What world do you live in?

I’m not sure why some people can’t accept that there can be terrible behaviour at the school gates? Or that it has nothing to do with friendships.

At my first child’s school there were parents who didn’t even want to wait at the school gates because of it. Lots of dirty looks, sniggering and laughing, ignoring people who simply say hello.

Why wouldn’t people believe that this goes on?

At my second child’s school there was none of it. It was just normal.

There’s shoulders, then there’s chips. Try to keep them apart.

So let’s get this straight….

All these women, ganged up, looked at you in scruffy clothing and you know they all agreed “single mum on benefits” and when their children asked multiple times for your “very popular” DD to be invited over… they all agreed that they would refuse these requests.

correct?

My Ds class mums were not like this at all...my dds was horrendous for it.

I'll give you an example...we were at a kids party...all the mums bar one who was lovely but shy were sitting together...so one of the mums called over to her and said hey come sit with us, get a chair. All nice and friendly.

In my dds class, a shy mum on her own at the party would have been given scornful looks.

So your daughter was invited to the party and you experienced this?

You made friends in your DS’ class @Justaquestionplease
You didn’t in your DD’s class
The end

How do you know this?

I'm saying if your face doesn't fit or they think you're a particular stereotype then it will affect you socially.

Vast majority of people socialise and associate with people similar to them. Look at groups of friends out and about...they will usually be similar ages, dress similarly etc, this isn't some kind of conspiracy theory. It's totally standard human behaviour.

@Backtobroc honestly you're shockingly rude. I think we all know what kind of mum at the school gate you are.

Yes or even worse told ‘you can’t sit there’ sort of thing along with sniggers and whispering.

funny I would not let my kids go to playdates and sleepovers to parents I don't know well

Surely it's just common sense?

And why would you invite random adults or people you have nothing to talk with to your home when adults gather? Do you invite all your work colleagues for diner, even if you have nothing to say to each other? Really?

So because you were a little scruffy… you were ignored, sidelined, blanked

and your DD suffered the consequences throughout her time at school became all these mothers refused their children’s requests to have her over?

From comments above I do now see why there is such a divide 🤣🤣

There is mums with shit experience
and there is mums with so much great experience .
both matter ,both can be true at the same time

Oh Dear. Because I haven’t agreed with you… you have flared up.

I haven’t been shockingly rude at all.

I have disagreed with you

Some of the mums whose kids my dc went to school with had known one another all their lives, having been brought up in a large village/small town together, so it was very difficult to break into that 'circle'. However, I read something very early on that said you only have one thing in common with these people, and that is you all got upduffed in the same year. You have nothing more in common with them than you do any other random person. No requirement or expectation to be friends with them at all.

Having said that, there did tend to be one group who drew their skirts aside from everyone else and that was the ones who'd all done the NCT classes at the same time, then all joined the committee together and ended up running it. Now they did tend to look down on other people. 😂Could just be a village thing though.

But your point wasn’t about cliques
it was about some children not being invited on play dates

Its bizarre that you are so dismissive and refuse to believe other people's lived experiences.

I was never bullied at school... doesn't mean I don't believe it happens.

Some people are bullied in the workplace...I haven't been. I still believe it happens.

@Backtobrocnor really and also it’s very much connected

Eh?

this very clearly isn’t going to be true is it?!?

year 6? So, 11 years old, so, the children invite their own friends by then, from about 4 years previous, parents don’t even come with. If my dds in year 6, wanted to hang out with their friend they said to said friend’ would you like to hang out with me’ and the child said ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Nothing whatsoever to do with parents.

so what you seem to be talking about is the mum friend having one of her adult friends over for a social event. That adult friend may or may not bring their child, but by 11, that’s entirely up to the child. Or do you think the mum friend should invite mums she doesn’t like? That would be strange.

I believe there are rude people in the world
some very rude
I believe that you met some rude people in your DD’s class

and from that - you concluded that the class was full of cliques, judging you as single mother on benefits because you were a bit scruffy and then isolated your daughter from her entire primary experience r

So you do believe in cliques
and you witness these cliques saying to their children (but not yours!) that they can’t have xyz over because their mother is not in the clique?

But it’s not just rude people. Rude people individually are rude people.

Rude people in a group who deliberately exclude others even from saying hello or sitting down is a clique.

Why do you keep repeating the same things in an attempt to discredit.

Yes it happens all the time... parents often steer their children to be friends with children whose parents they approve of and get on with. I mean the same thing happened to me in the 90s...my mum made me invite a girl I wasn't friends with to my sleepover because she was very close to the mum and thought it would be embarrassing for her not to be invited.