Clique school mums

[ernie23]

what is a cliquey mum group?
how would you describe them ? Do you believe that term , have you ever been involved ?

This is no hate, just genuinely what to know what people think of that term or their experiences on why would you call them like that .

I don't care if I have friends at the school gate but I think it's really fucking weird and rude to totally ignore someone who says good morning to you.

Another mum there used to literally chat to you whilst scanning the background to see if anyone better had popped up...if they had she would walk off mid conversation to chat to them.

Utter weirdos

Never seen it, all I’ve seen are groups of mums who are friends. In my experience the term clique is applied when someone is jealous and wants to be part of the group. The group of friends on the other hand are generally unaware someone is watching consumed with envy. They are just cracking on.

I think a group with the "you can't sit with us" vibes, looking people up and down when they try to join a chat. A group of people becoming close friends and not having as much interaction with others is fine and pretty normal I think. It's when they actively try to exclude others and make them feel uncomfortable that it becomes a problem.

One person
at one class event
“blanked you”
So you said “morning” and she looked at you blankly and then turned away?

even if that was the case… you appear to have then extrapolated that in 6 years of school your daughter was not invited to play dates because of cliques?

and yes there are rude people out there. Nothing to do with friendship groups

My child got invited to a party and then got uninvited because the party girls mum had friends who didn't like us and so didn't want my kid to be there.

Yes that happened. We had to sit at the same table in the classroom so I said good morning to her, she looked and me and ignored me. I haven't extrapolated anything except that she's fucking rude...and thats the difference between a friendship group and a clique which excludes.

Yeah I haven’t really seen any cliques. Been doing school runs for nearly 10 years. Have made some great mum friends over the years. I suppose to some people I’m probably in a clique 🤷‍♀️

Yes she was rude!!

But that doesn’t mean your school was dominated by cliques that meant in 6 years all these women (over their cauldrons) said to their children NO you can’t not invite @Justaquestionplease ’s DD over

It really isn't, you know. It's just parents trying to convince themselves it's some other adult's fault their child doesn't get invited to playdates. It's the school gate equivalent of thinking other people aren't keen on you because 'they're just jealous.'

It's totally standard behaviour at UK primary schools... because even if it's not purposeful exclusion it's just easier to invite when you know the parents.

Well a lot of the school mums at my kids school are really rude about other kids in front of their own so that massively disencourages their kids from asking to have them over.

How many primary schools did your dd attend?

How do you know?

Because I have ears.

I was friendly with any of the mums of my kids friends. I didn’t make lasting friendships with them, some of them were in close groups, some not.
I only ever hear the word cliques, when describing women in a way that isn’t really needed. No male cliques as far as I know.
I think it’s a thing in some peoples heads if they choose to view it that way.

There is a difference between a friendship group and a clique.

The cliques at the school gates are horrendous if you’ve experienced it.

I’ve had two dc in two different schools. School 1 was a small church school and there was a clique. School 2 was a large school and yes there were groups but there weren’t cliques.

The cliquey groups aren’t friends, they are just parents who know each other through the school but like to get together and act like they own the place. Lots of mean comments, blanking people who say hello, actively turning their backs on anyone who approaches to speak, excluding certain parents and children because their faces don’t fit.

Cliques aren’t necessarily friends, they don’t socialise outside of school it’s just a group who like to stand around acting like they’re better than everyone else.

for early years
not when were are talking 7 or 8 up

A clique has an insider/ outsider dynamic, whereas a friendshipngroup has more porius borders.

The clique I knew consisted of a bunch of SAHM mums - trophy wives with very rich husbands - who looked down on those of us who had jobs.

Omg how on earth do you know this is what plays out unless you are on this “clique” 😆

I think this is a fair point.

The trouble is entitled parents who convince themselves of this will often raise entitled children who accuse anyone who doesn't automatically want to be their friend, of being 'bullies'.

And so it goes on.

It’s a term used by people who often struggle with friendships. I wouldn’t see a group of people I’m not included in as a clique.

Some people suffer from projection as if it were a chronic disease...

Because I’ve seen it unfold.

Cliques aren’t necessarily friends, they don’t socialise outside of school it’s just a group who like to stand around acting like they’re better than everyone else

I mean, where do you even start?

I was a sahm whose DH had a job which meant I didn't need to work.... however because they never saw him and I usually dressed down and have a common accent they assumed I was a single mum on benefits and looked down on me