AIBU to challenge OUT OF CONTROL parents group chat?

[SySy7]

My 2 kids go to pretty decent school where the group chat is intertwined with class reps and PTFA. Theres around 90 parent members in each chat. My issue is not only the relentless money grab opportunities but the inconsiderate few who seem to think that messaging at 6am on Saturday mornings and sometimes gone midnight on a Friday evening to ask ridiculous stuff they could have directly asked one parent or a rep rather than 90 people is completely unacceptable? Where are peoples sense of boundaries, common sense and general respect? I’ve silenced before for holidays but all you see the minute you open your phone is 30 messages about school lunches or a fundraiser. I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity but would it be unreasonable to contact the school come September and request that the group chat become more regulated? Say from 7am to 9pm on a school night for example and limited on weekends? Direct questions go to a rep? I get all parents have a morning panic from time to time for example but I’ve honestly never experience the sheer volume or anything like this before. One week we were sent the same advert for a group event over 15 times. It became literal spam and random parents were reposting the message/ad through like we hadn’t received it 45 mins ago? I’ll always help and support where I can - make donations and bake etc. I’m not against trying to make improvements but this next level. It does quieten down for holidays for a bit but always select few who just don’t give a damn! It might sound ridiculous but it actually gets me down sometimes- I feel completely and utterly harassed.i know a few other parents feel the same but nobody is brave enough to speak up or go against the status quo. There will now be incessant messaging for the entire weekend due an event taking place tomorrow (as there is most weekends). Should I be that person?

If you don’t like it, mute the chat and you won’t receive notifications or simply leave. You don’t get to police the chat group. If you don’t like it, leave the group.

The school has nothing to do with these groups. Just leave it and breathe a sigh of relief you read things

Whatsapp is asynchronous communication.
If you only want to see messages between 9 and 5, only look at it between 9 and 5. This is entirely a 'you' problem.

I mean I'm not and have never been in a school group chat. It isn't compulsory.

How ridiculous. Just don't answer if you're not happy. Why shouldn't they post when they like. You're not their employer or parent to be monitoring this.

One of my better moves when DC went to secondary was to get DH also added to the many group chats. Sharing is caring right 😉

It was quite the eye opener for him.

Last time he annoyed me I said I’d add him the street WhatsApp group too if he did it again.

Sorry but you need to learn how to use your own phone.
You don't know what hours other parents work and it would be outrageous to expect everyone to only message on your schedule.

Sounds awful. I’ve never been in any WhatsApp parents group, either for Primary or Secondary and DS is 17 now.

When Ds was in primary, I had a couple of mum friends I might message if I wanted to check something but otherwise, I don’t think anyone bothered making a chat group. (Village primary school)

Do you actually need to be on it?

Won’t the school send out emails if there’s stuff you need to know?

Mute the group for a few months and see if you actually miss anything important. Chances are, you won’t need to re-join.

Honestly if someone said to me "don't post after 10pm" is make a point of posting regularly at 10.30pm just to be difficult.

Why? Because it's such an entitled and controlling attitude when you could just mute.

No it’s not something to contact the school about. You either put up with it or leave the chats. I’ve never been in school WhatsApp groups longer than about a week because of how annoying I have found them.

You are in charge of your phone. Turn off notifications.

You could ask if there could be another WhatsApp group where only the reps are authorised to post so all important messages are there. Then this existing one can be for parental chat (you can leave). Of course you can’t enforce that enough people will agree to set up the new group… someone suggested this in my class WhatsApp group and we all ignored him! But if yours is as intense as you say I’m sure it’s annoying other people too.

You are being utterly unreasonable. You need to take responsibility for when you use your own phone. If you don’t want texts at 6am, either leave the group, mute it or sort your settings.

OP is clearly one of "those" parents who are more than happy to take part in everything offered by the school but tight as an arse when it comes to volunteering their own time or money. Policing a Whatsapp group is a new low tbh. Every adult knows that you can simply mute a chat or ignore the messages.

I’m due to have a baby next week

This ^ is way more important than any WhatsApp message. Put your phone in a drawer and forget about it OP. Congratulations!!!

On your day off not at 6am or while on a night-shift dont be ridiculous.
There is étiquette to not texting at certain times you know.

A text message (WhatsApp) isn’t a phone call. It doesn’t require an answer at the point it is sent.

It can be sent at a convenient time for the sender and answered at a convenient time for the recipient.

If it’s about a specific day (eg mufti / DT etc) then waiting for a day off isn’t very helpful.

I genuinely wonder whether people who are so bothered about getting messages after 10pm have such tiny boring lives that they don't know a single person living in a different time zone?!

It's perfectly normal to wake up to messages if you're in group chats where people happen to be in different countries. That's why you mute your phone overnight. Surely someone living in Asia or the USA is not obliged to consider what time zone every chat participant is in before they send a message.

On a practical level, this is exactly the same as a local person sending a message at 11pm. Messages come in overnight, that's just reality.

Agree - if there was anything parents needed to know, the school would be letting you know and not some random other parent.

The whole point if texting/messaging us you send a message when its convenient for YOU and the other person reads it when its convenient for THEM. Most of us know how to mute a chat, or use the Do Not Disturb function on our phones, so we don't get upset about when other people are sending their messages.

No there's not. Only boomers feel that way, because they don't know how to use their phones right.

Mute the chat until you feel like reading/ responding. Its either that or you leave the group.

say what now?

Have you demanded from MNHQ that posts must stops and only been allowed between the (uk) hours of 8am and 9pm? No? Didn't think so 😂

Literally the same thing.

Let me guess, you have keyboard sounds on and pay for ringtones tones don’t you?

Anyone who takes “parents group chats” seriously or gets wound up by them - is an absolute loser and wet blanket IMO.

Just mute the chat so you don’t get notifications. And just look at it when you have the time. No need for any drama or to complain to the school at all.