AIBU to challenge OUT OF CONTROL parents group chat?

[SySy7]

My 2 kids go to pretty decent school where the group chat is intertwined with class reps and PTFA. Theres around 90 parent members in each chat. My issue is not only the relentless money grab opportunities but the inconsiderate few who seem to think that messaging at 6am on Saturday mornings and sometimes gone midnight on a Friday evening to ask ridiculous stuff they could have directly asked one parent or a rep rather than 90 people is completely unacceptable? Where are peoples sense of boundaries, common sense and general respect? I’ve silenced before for holidays but all you see the minute you open your phone is 30 messages about school lunches or a fundraiser. I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity but would it be unreasonable to contact the school come September and request that the group chat become more regulated? Say from 7am to 9pm on a school night for example and limited on weekends? Direct questions go to a rep? I get all parents have a morning panic from time to time for example but I’ve honestly never experience the sheer volume or anything like this before. One week we were sent the same advert for a group event over 15 times. It became literal spam and random parents were reposting the message/ad through like we hadn’t received it 45 mins ago? I’ll always help and support where I can - make donations and bake etc. I’m not against trying to make improvements but this next level. It does quieten down for holidays for a bit but always select few who just don’t give a damn! It might sound ridiculous but it actually gets me down sometimes- I feel completely and utterly harassed.i know a few other parents feel the same but nobody is brave enough to speak up or go against the status quo. There will now be incessant messaging for the entire weekend due an event taking place tomorrow (as there is most weekends). Should I be that person?

Yep, just what we teachers need, having to supervise WhatsApp groups of grown adults.

Leave the school out of it and suck it up.
Mute, leave, whatever.....but leave the bloody teachers in peace.

Just move the chat to Archive then you can choose when/if to engage.
You’ll never change people’s mpc behaviour but you’ll feel better for changing YOUR behaviour.

One organisation I am in has a separate geoup for ‘announcements’ that only admin can post to. That means I can just monitor that one to get the important news without the chat. You could suggest this idea to the pta so that important news doesn’t gets missed in the huge pile of chat.

I suppose you could ask the Admins to post some “rules”

Not only do the school have much more important things to do, but they're not actually in charge of any of this anyway. If people's communication style tends towards spamming and there's a critical enough mass of them, it's going to keep happening regardless. Particularly if those are the people who are willing to get involved in the PTA. You don't get to volunteer other people to act as reps in the way you want them to perform the role either.

So rather than your original question it's actually AIBU to not understand the features of WhatsApp? 😂

Just mute and ignore. You can’t police other people.

The most annoying situation I had on a group like this, was someone posting to ask if anyone had taken home Tommy's PE shorts in error, and nearly every parent replying that they hadn't! Surely you just reply if you have!

I sometimes share WhatsApp tips on large groups chats - such as the search function (three dots then tap Links for example to see all web links that have been shared in the group). Lots of people don't know this is there and it means they dont have to keep scrolling through and asking for things to be re-shared. Also handy is the ability to pin a message at the top of the chat, for example for a forthcoming event.

It doesn't sound like the right time for you to make a post like this though, as you're understandably really missed off! Maybe in the Sept term when you can word it lightly.

Also nothing stopping you and other parents who feel the same from leaving that WA group and starting your own with a volume that suits you. Presumably you're all capable of monitoring events that are going on in school and posting reminders at what you deem an acceptable level.

Yabvu

just leave it. I managed to go through my DC primary school life without being in the parental WhatsApp group.

In the nicest possible way, I'd see how strongly you feel about thisafter you have given birth next week.

Most parent chats are dominated by a handful of people who message a lot. Everyone else either mutes the chat or lurks for entertainment and info. You are taking it all far too seriously. Decide whether you want to be a lurker or muter and stop worrying about it. By the time the children get to Yr5, most of them have full knowledge of the conversations in the parent chat so just remember not to say anything embarrassing on it.

not sure why it’s a problem what time people message. Surely everyone has their phone on silent at night nowadays. I have many groups with friends who stay up later than me, get up earlier or are up through the night with a baby so I could be receiving messages at all hours. I check and respond when it is convenient for me.

No, it's nothing to do with the school. Just come out of it permanently. I've never been in a school watsapp group and would never join one. You get all the relevant info from the school info systems, parentmail, study bugs, class charts which ever they use. There is no need for any of this nonsense. These people need to get a life.

I would imagine the late night messages are to prevent the poster forgetting it and they're not actually expecting a response straight away.

I have all notifications on all group chats turned off. Even the family one. Dh has to inform me when someone dies and I actually need to respond! 😂

A chat is like email. People can send a message when they have time and you can read it and respond (or not) when you have time. I rarely look at the school group chats that I have turned off unless I need information about something. I’m definitely not looking at it at midnight if someone sends a message. You don’t have to either. Just unclench.

Maybe that’s the time that’s convenient for them to read and post? why should they need to fit in with you and your timings. Can’t you just read and post at a time that’s convenient for you?

I don’t really understand the issue, I use WhatsApp groups at my convenience and expect other adults to be capable of doing the same. That’s what is so useful about them! Check it once a month or once a week if you fancy. Or if you don’t find them useful then leave!

just mute notifications for individual groups or chats, solves your issue. I also have some of the groups in archive so I dont even see them when I open the app. When its so easy to solve the issue yourself I wouldnt bother the school with it.

don't make a show of yourself, just leave

Just leave the chat. Anything you actually need to know will be communicated by the School.

Yep, this.

The WhatsApp chat won’t be a formal school thing so no you can’t ask them to sort it out.

Mute it, learn that the same parent will never ever learn to read the official school comms and will always message to check if it’s an inset day from reception to year 6 and don’t sweat it the small stuff. They tend to calm down about year 3 onwards.

There are loads of ways people can ensure they aren't disturbed by messages at inconvenient times and we should expect people to use them. A WhatsApp message is not like a traditional phone call, where calling at certain hours would be rude. People can choose to read and respond to it when they like.

90 people is too big and unweildy for an unfettered class WhatsApp group. Could you suggest another one for the PTA announcements that only a handful of admins can post updates on? We have this for DS cricket club and it's so much calmer