AIBU to challenge OUT OF CONTROL parents group chat?

[SySy7]

My 2 kids go to pretty decent school where the group chat is intertwined with class reps and PTFA. Theres around 90 parent members in each chat. My issue is not only the relentless money grab opportunities but the inconsiderate few who seem to think that messaging at 6am on Saturday mornings and sometimes gone midnight on a Friday evening to ask ridiculous stuff they could have directly asked one parent or a rep rather than 90 people is completely unacceptable? Where are peoples sense of boundaries, common sense and general respect? I’ve silenced before for holidays but all you see the minute you open your phone is 30 messages about school lunches or a fundraiser. I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity but would it be unreasonable to contact the school come September and request that the group chat become more regulated? Say from 7am to 9pm on a school night for example and limited on weekends? Direct questions go to a rep? I get all parents have a morning panic from time to time for example but I’ve honestly never experience the sheer volume or anything like this before. One week we were sent the same advert for a group event over 15 times. It became literal spam and random parents were reposting the message/ad through like we hadn’t received it 45 mins ago? I’ll always help and support where I can - make donations and bake etc. I’m not against trying to make improvements but this next level. It does quieten down for holidays for a bit but always select few who just don’t give a damn! It might sound ridiculous but it actually gets me down sometimes- I feel completely and utterly harassed.i know a few other parents feel the same but nobody is brave enough to speak up or go against the status quo. There will now be incessant messaging for the entire weekend due an event taking place tomorrow (as there is most weekends). Should I be that person?

Messages are sent at the convenience of thw sender and read at the convenience of the receiver. No one expects a response at midnight or 6am. You need to manage your settings if you don't want to be disturbed. My phone hasn't been off silent since about 2013.

Just mute it & check messages when you want to. It's your choice when to check what's app & social media.

That's a really bizarre request to only allow people to post at restricted times to suit you.

It's different if someone is repeatedly directly messaging or calling you but Whatsapp groups you are the one that needs to set controls for yourself or just leave the group if you really can't manage

I can guarantee if you try enforcing posting hours for a WhatsApp group you will go through your entire school mum years being 'that parent's

The school won't get involved. Nothing to do with them

But we all have individual settings we can use to control when we receive messages.

It makes no sense to police the sending time when we can all manage to control the receiving time.

Lock chat is the way! Better than archive as you dont get notified in the same way

Christ, what a lot of drama for nothing.

And you lost me at “money grabbing opportunities”. You know these are volunteers, raising funds for your DC’s school, right?

I have it on mute and archived. I barely respond or ask questions on it anymore. I do agree the worst offenders are the ones having their own back and forth conversation, but that is the same in a few groups I am in.
I then skim read it occasionally. A lot of people never respond, not even to say they aren't attendung something.
A couple of mums aren't even on it, and to be fair I understand why. But just archive it and try to find some resources online to deal with the stress and anxiety surrounding it.

Thanks for some the kinder messages. I’m well aware I’m an adult. I have my phone on silent usually anyway and have mentioned I’ve muted the chat in the past however it doesn’t stop it displaying on my phone. It means everytime I pick up my phone and I mean everytime there are multiple messages from school including weekends! I am allowed to be sick of it. I see what’s app as much more personal than email tbh so maybe that’s where I’ll have to agree to disagree with some of you and as I said previously a lot of it is repeat messages and adverts for events: I think it needs to be better managed by the PTA and reps and there’s been some really good suggestions. I won’t contact the school but I will be making some suggestions to reps in September and archiving for now!

Sounds like so much bollocks are being posted on that group OP.
Some people really need to get a life or at least a hobby. If they are wasting all this time writing shite online are they actually looking after their kids?

so you expect the reps to do the work, follow YOUR opinion without offering to be a rep yourself? They will love your "suggestions" 😂, that you don't intend to lift a finger to follow through.

Lovely.

You only have 2, soon to be 3, children. I am sure you post and read more on MN than you read the group chat. Just keep it in archive and leave other people in the peace you are asking for.

I just used the locked chat setting on a different chat with less mums in it that I just completely ignore (never even knew that existed until reading the comments) and it has vanished, so use that and be done with it :)

I doubt any individual is posting more than a few times each every day. Even if one person posted 20 times in a day, the average post would take less than a minute to write. Like writing a MN post I guess.
I doubt anyone is actually neglecting their kids in favour of writing on a class WhatsApp group.

I don't think many people see WhatsApp groups like you do OP. To many people it's like an email. Id send an email at whatever time of day and night. I would expect the owner of the mailbox to set it to not disturb them between certain hours. A WhatsApp message is not a phone call, it is not urgent and can only disturb you if you let it.

I think you don't understand the etiquette of WhatsApp groups. There is nothing rude about messaging at whatever time or night in a group like that.

Oh for goodness sake, mute the chat or leave….not a massive issue really is it?!

I’m in some completely ridiculous group chats but I stay in them because in between the dross, there’s info I need to know. I just have them on mute and then I glance through about once a week.

You can’t impose rules on a WhatsApp group - and who’s going to ‘police’ them anyway?

I would speak to the class rep and say can we have a rule about timings please. So messages can only be sent between the hours of 8am-9pm. 90 members on one group is huge.

If you’ve already muted it and it’s still an issue, leave or Archive the chat in your whatapp that means you have to physically open the chat in the archives to catch up. Just seems to be a bigger issue for yourself than I personally can not understand.

I’d just leave it. I’ve got two kids through secondary school without ever being on a class group chat.

You can’t police/ control how others behave, but you can change how you respond!

No

school is not in control of parenting apps

mute or leave

Ok, but do be aware they might well think you're being a CF. Good luck with the birth.

It's up to you to control your own whatsapp usage, look at the messages at your own convenience or leave the chat if you can't do this.

I wouldn’t message family members or a neighbour at gone midnight or 5:50am in tbe morning

Why not? Surely most people turn off their phones at night. And if not, then mute notifications?

I completely agree with you OP. I dislike that some people think it's okay to message at any hour and some of the chat is unnecessary. I'm the same as you, I mute most chats but even seeing the green dots irritates me.
Archive the main one and then you could set up a smaller chat with a few of the parents who you know feel the same and will follow good etiquette! Just occasionally check in on the main chat.

@ThisSereneGoose Once my youngest starts school I’d happily offer to be a rep if it meant I could help manage it better. The mums in particular jump all over each other to do these kind of jobs and we are reasonably new to the school. I can say based on previous parents what’s app groups- this one is extreme. I’m just asking for advice which some people have kindly put forward and been really helpful. There’s really no need to mock me.
@Mygardenshedisfallingdown there is lots of rubbish posted but when I mean multiple times a day. I mean a summer fayre is happening as an example - a rep might post it but then a parent will an hr later and another will do it again in the afternoon (or at 6am). By the end of week it’s been posted more than 10-12 times. It’s insane madness. Now I know I can basically hide it away - I will! Thank you to everyone for replying. I will stop posting now. I’m too pregnant and sensitive to spend the entire day receiving salty messages.

maybe that's why they post early morning and late evening? when they kids are in bed? 😂