AIBU to challenge OUT OF CONTROL parents group chat?

[SySy7]

My 2 kids go to pretty decent school where the group chat is intertwined with class reps and PTFA. Theres around 90 parent members in each chat. My issue is not only the relentless money grab opportunities but the inconsiderate few who seem to think that messaging at 6am on Saturday mornings and sometimes gone midnight on a Friday evening to ask ridiculous stuff they could have directly asked one parent or a rep rather than 90 people is completely unacceptable? Where are peoples sense of boundaries, common sense and general respect? I’ve silenced before for holidays but all you see the minute you open your phone is 30 messages about school lunches or a fundraiser. I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity but would it be unreasonable to contact the school come September and request that the group chat become more regulated? Say from 7am to 9pm on a school night for example and limited on weekends? Direct questions go to a rep? I get all parents have a morning panic from time to time for example but I’ve honestly never experience the sheer volume or anything like this before. One week we were sent the same advert for a group event over 15 times. It became literal spam and random parents were reposting the message/ad through like we hadn’t received it 45 mins ago? I’ll always help and support where I can - make donations and bake etc. I’m not against trying to make improvements but this next level. It does quieten down for holidays for a bit but always select few who just don’t give a damn! It might sound ridiculous but it actually gets me down sometimes- I feel completely and utterly harassed.i know a few other parents feel the same but nobody is brave enough to speak up or go against the status quo. There will now be incessant messaging for the entire weekend due an event taking place tomorrow (as there is most weekends). Should I be that person?

Do you need to be in these chats? I’m not in any. I just receive the necessary comms from the school via the emailed newsletter.

We have a team chat at work which I mute and check intermittently.

I also always have my phone on silent so no matter what time anyone messages me I’ll see it when it suits me.

You made the rookie mistake of thinking that just because someone sends a message at midnight that they expect it to be responded to immediately. It doesn’t, and the sender will have assumed that recipients who don’t like their phones pinging after 8pm will have them muted.

We have managed to navigate primary and secondary school for all our children without being in any school WhatsApp group. And will continue to avoid them. Its bloody lovely.

In a three form entry school it’s not unlikely however.

Why do you even need this nonsense? Take the weekly school newsletter and add dates to your calendar immediately. That's a system which has worked for decades for grown adults. WhatsApp groups aren't mandatory.

Just remove yourself from the groups and stop being a melt! You choose what you see, you don’t get to police other people.

Volunteers may not always be able to do things at times that suit you

i tend to turn off group notifications

It sounds terrible, but you cannot expect the school to police a parents’ WhatsApp group!!! It’s nothing to do with them. If you find the group stressful, leave it.

You can’t police an adult chat. Just because someone posts something at 6am doesn’t mean you need to read it at 6am - you read it when it’s convenient. I have recently archived our street group chat because it was getting out of control and it has calmed a lot of noise.

We managed to do something like this in a charity I was a trustee of. We had a meeting in which everyone agreed when and how we would post things to avoid repetition and overloading the chat. It worked, but only because everyone was behind it. If you make rules, someone has to police the group and issue reminders and sanctions when they are broken, whereupon some group members object and fight back. Terrible hassle and unworkable for a big group.

As a rep I don’t want questions directed to me either at a weekend or odd times. I really don’t want someone to tell the class chat to contact me only, that’s unfair too. Just remove yourself from the group, either you want it or you don’t. Unfortunately you don’t get to dictate what other people can or can’t do. Good luck with the new arrival.

I agree with the muting and archiving of the chat. But also why don't you post a "nice" message in the group explaining that multiple posts about the same thing are irritating and causing overload. I'm sure you're not the only person in the chat who's annoyed with this. If this doesn't get the group to agree to self-regulate the messages, is there an admin of the group you could message yourself to ask for perhaps a supportive message to be periodically made about respecting others (or whatever)?

As others have said, people are free to message as and when it suits them. It’s on YOU to manage how and when you receive those messages. Take responsibility for your own use of the Chat.

Create your own group if you want members to follow YOUR rules
or adjust your settings. If you are an adult, it's on you to mute if you don't want to be disturbed.

it’s mainly expecting people to show some basic courtesy and respect. I wouldn’t message family members or a neighbour at gone midnight or 5:50am in tbe morning.
then don't? But who are you to decide others can't? There's nothing rude or inconsiderate about it?

Some parents deal with their admin late in the evening, some parents first thing in the morning before heading out for the day.
Your 9 to 5 messages will be as disruptive and unwelcome during others office hours and when they are with clients/ in meetings/ teaching a class...

It's social media, not a phone call. The whole point is that you send when convenient, and people read or reply when convenient to them. Works beautifully.

we have a whatsapp group for classes but also the year groups. There are more than 250 people on it 😂

The last thing we need is someone spamming the group demanding they follow a specific schedule convenient to them, ignoring completely that others have a life and other priorities, and they know how to mute groups.

The OP is ridiculous.

When a group so big is inundated with spam it usually dies.
You don’t need to do anything. It happens all in its own simply because peole can’t be bothered reading 100 messages in the day.

Just do the same than, I suspect, most people and ignore.
Put it on mute.
Put your phone on silent at night (check your settings. I’ve got mine set from 8.00pm to 8.00am). No ping disturbing me. It doesn’t appear as ‘30 messages from….’ And it’s automatic so I never forget.

Amd remember that someone putting a message on, posting at 6.00am is not a summon to read and acknowledge.

For me, the biggest issue would be the amount of messages that means important information might get lost. But if you’re still gettimg them on paper/email,from the school, then 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ just ignore

I feel your pain. I get really annoyed by the people who constantly post asking questions or looking for information that everyone else has managed to read in the email or SeeSaw message from the school. I know we all miss something from time to time but there is a core group who never seem to read anything ever and just rely on the group to tell them what they need to know. Like, this group is not your personal secretary go and read your emails like everyone else. Lazy scatty bastards.

However, I’d never dream of making this the school’s problem. I largely just ignore it and don’t engage.

I must admit though I do message people when it suits
me, even if that’s at midnight or 6am. It’s when I catch up on my correspondence 🤷‍♀️ I don’t expect them to read/respond at that time. It’s not difficult to silence your notifications. I only don’t message in the small hours because people would think I was odd.

I’ll never understand why people don’t have all of their WhatsApp groups on mute!

We have a very active class whatsapp, I have it on silent and only have a look when I get time, dont let it worry you.

A parent once posted ‘people don’t have to put reminders up when there’s swimming on, we all know it’s on a Wednesday and about five minutes later the school texted reminding swimming was on a Thursday next week. Some brilliantly en pointe parents reposted it, some saying ‘just because I always forget when swimming is on so I like the odd reminder’. I laughed so much!! Op in one of my sons class there’s a close group of friends and family and the rest of us might miss eg a bake sale being on and then we hear afterwards they had a big conversation about it. A WhatsApp reminder dies the job it’s supposed to

I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity

funny thing is that you will probably end up being one of these new mums who sometimes do admin and reply the middle of the night, because they are awake and doing night feeds!

but other parents have long muted the groups and it bothers no one at all, it's literally what the whatsapp group are for, convenience for parents!

Demanding a "7 to 9" is just silly.

You could set up a sleep mode or ‘do not
disturb’ for your phone so that you are only notified about messages and calls from certain contacts during certain times. If you’re having a baby in a few weeks it will be invaluable to prevent your phone from pinging loudly just as your newborn has finally fallen asleep.

Once you have that, the more prolific and generally mental the parents WhatsApp group, the better. Over time you’ll just find it hilarious.

Hi. It's nothing to do with the school so they won't/can't get involved.

Remove yourself from the group.

Keep a really close eye on the school newsletter for dates for your diary and take responsibility for yourself for not missing anything non school uniform day or assembly etc.

If you are in any doubt about events just contact the school office direct for clarification.

X

You're a grown up and in control of your phone.

My phone is on silent from 10pm until 7am.

Any annoying parent groups I put on mute then read the messages when I have time. If its important someone would message me directly.