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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to suggest my husband takes the box room when we move?

191 replies

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 09:25

Aibu to give the smallest bedroom to my husband? We’re moving house. It’s for 2 years. My husband and I have separate bedrooms because of his snoring. The new house has 3 double rooms and one box room. Our two children really want a double room each and to be far they’re 18 and 17 and will be hanging out in their bedrooms the majority of time. My husband literally only sleeps in his bedroom, while I spend loads of time working in my bedroom. It seems obvious to me that he should get the box room but he won’t hear of it. I instigated the move so he’s not thrilled in general.

OP posts:
dancingdeidre · 18/07/2026 11:35

CloudyWithAChanceOfCustard · 18/07/2026 10:58

But she’s not the one with the snoring issue…the husband is. And it seems he’s doing nothing to sort it out!

Lots of people snore and there isn't always an easy way of stopping. This couple has agreed to deal with it by sleeping in separate rooms. Doesn't seem fair to make DH pay by having the less desirable room.

Indianajet · 18/07/2026 11:38

If I was your OH, I would stay in the old house and leave you to it.

BeWittyRobin · 18/07/2026 11:45

I’m sorry but why would he have the box room and not one of the children?! I think it’s an unreasonable request/expectation from yourself and your two children tbh. If you don’t see a problem with it and you feel it’s important for both your children to have a double room each then you have the box room, and get a desk to work elsewhere in the house

senua · 18/07/2026 11:48

you have the box room, and get a desk to work elsewhere in the house
We haven't yet had the dripfeed of why she gets to work in the new house but he has to work in the old house.

UniquePinkSwan · 18/07/2026 11:51

Megifer · 18/07/2026 09:43

Hes being a selfish arse. Its not a given your DC will move out any time soon and he just needs a bed. What a knob.

Really? He’s selfish for not wanting a tiny bedroom in a house he pays for? I’d say the OP was selfish for even suggesting it

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 11:51

UniquePinkSwan · 18/07/2026 11:51

Really? He’s selfish for not wanting a tiny bedroom in a house he pays for? I’d say the OP was selfish for even suggesting it

The OP is paying for it. She said that in a previous post.

Megifer · 18/07/2026 11:55

UniquePinkSwan · 18/07/2026 11:51

Really? He’s selfish for not wanting a tiny bedroom in a house he pays for? I’d say the OP was selfish for even suggesting it

A room he'll be in for 8 hours asleep? Yea. Extremely selfish.

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 11:57

He can work lots of places. Right now the old house is nearer his work. His work involves travelling and it changes. He’s not paying for the new house. Amazing how many people presume he is. I think I’ve said we both work

OP posts:
shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 11:59

Megifer · 18/07/2026 11:55

A room he'll be in for 8 hours asleep? Yea. Extremely selfish.

If it's just to use for 8 hours a night, why can't OP sleep in it?

CoffeeBooksRats · 18/07/2026 12:00

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 11:57

He can work lots of places. Right now the old house is nearer his work. His work involves travelling and it changes. He’s not paying for the new house. Amazing how many people presume he is. I think I’ve said we both work

I assumed he’d be paying an equal share - not paying for the whole thing.

is there an option to rent a different house that meets everyone’s needs and avoids the drama?

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 12:01

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 11:59

If it's just to use for 8 hours a night, why can't OP sleep in it?

Why should she sleep in it over him, when she’s paying for the house?

Megifer · 18/07/2026 12:02

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 11:59

If it's just to use for 8 hours a night, why can't OP sleep in it?

From the op - My husband literally only sleeps in his bedroom, while I spend loads of time working in my bedroom

Easilyforgotten · 18/07/2026 12:02

I get that you have instigated this move and your DH isn't happy, but he seems to be looking at this from an emotional perspective rather than a practical one? I completely agree that on the surface him being relegated to the box room seems unfair, but if the reality of the situation is that he genuinely does only sleep in there, why does it matter? If his 'stuff' is in the room you're planning to sleep in and he's only using the bed in the box room, surely you are effectively sharing the main bedroom anyway?

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:03

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 12:01

Why should she sleep in it over him, when she’s paying for the house?

Because she's the one who wants to live there.

FourSevenFour · 18/07/2026 12:03

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 11:59

If it's just to use for 8 hours a night, why can't OP sleep in it?

Because she works from the bedroom as well (he doesn't).
Depending on their work/sleep patterns that might clash.


It is absolutely logical solution. The only issues are that he doesn't like the move anyway, and his ego over the bedroom allocation.

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:03

Megifer · 18/07/2026 12:02

From the op - My husband literally only sleeps in his bedroom, while I spend loads of time working in my bedroom

She can sleep in the box room and work in the other room then.

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:04

FourSevenFour · 18/07/2026 12:03

Because she works from the bedroom as well (he doesn't).
Depending on their work/sleep patterns that might clash.


It is absolutely logical solution. The only issues are that he doesn't like the move anyway, and his ego over the bedroom allocation.

OP hasn't said their sleep patterns would cause an issue and has even said herself they should probably alternate sleeping in the box room.

She's the one driving the move and who wants it most, so she should be prepared to take the rubbish room to facilitate that, IMO.

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 12:06

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:03

Because she's the one who wants to live there.

Then he can always choose to live elsewhere!
I can’t even imagine my husband kicking off over this. He’d just say ‘you spend more time in your room, I only use mine to sleep in and I’m the snorer so I’ll take the small room’ and we’d all happily get on with our lives.

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:07

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 12:06

Then he can always choose to live elsewhere!
I can’t even imagine my husband kicking off over this. He’d just say ‘you spend more time in your room, I only use mine to sleep in and I’m the snorer so I’ll take the small room’ and we’d all happily get on with our lives.

Great, but that's not happening here and it's causing an issue.

I would be pretty miffed if DH was forcing a move on me which I didn't want and which made my working days longer, and then wanted to shove me in a tiny box room on top.

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 12:09

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:07

Great, but that's not happening here and it's causing an issue.

I would be pretty miffed if DH was forcing a move on me which I didn't want and which made my working days longer, and then wanted to shove me in a tiny box room on top.

Im not sure she’s shoving him anywhere. Just suggested that he take that room, for practical reasons. The thread title is literally ‘AIBU to suggest…’

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:10

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 12:09

Im not sure she’s shoving him anywhere. Just suggested that he take that room, for practical reasons. The thread title is literally ‘AIBU to suggest…’

Edited

But it's not really a practical reason as she could just as easily sleep there herself and work in the larger room during the day - which is probably better than working and sleeping in the same room anyway.

Dragonscaledaisy · 18/07/2026 12:11

Find a new property to rent with four double bedrooms so everyone's happy. That house clearly doesn't work.

Hibernatingsloth · 18/07/2026 12:11

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 11:51

The OP is paying for it. She said that in a previous post.

OP said she was paying the rent.
But her husband may be paying the bills.
No one has any idea how they have split their finances.

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 12:12

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 12:10

But it's not really a practical reason as she could just as easily sleep there herself and work in the larger room during the day - which is probably better than working and sleeping in the same room anyway.

Ok. She’s still not unreasonable to suggest it. She’s since said she agrees she should share the room.

Awkwardisfunny · 18/07/2026 12:14

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 09:25

Aibu to give the smallest bedroom to my husband? We’re moving house. It’s for 2 years. My husband and I have separate bedrooms because of his snoring. The new house has 3 double rooms and one box room. Our two children really want a double room each and to be far they’re 18 and 17 and will be hanging out in their bedrooms the majority of time. My husband literally only sleeps in his bedroom, while I spend loads of time working in my bedroom. It seems obvious to me that he should get the box room but he won’t hear of it. I instigated the move so he’s not thrilled in general.

He needs to be reasonable. It's likely just a status thing and he needs to understand the practical side of it. If all he does is sleep, then he doesn't need more space. It's also temporary, by the sound of it so push that angle. Is there anything you can offer 'in return', though ideally, he would just be a generous / reasonable person and not need tit for tat.