AIBU to suggest my husband takes the box room when we move?

[Bedroomdilemmas]

Aibu to give the smallest bedroom to my husband? We’re moving house. It’s for 2 years. My husband and I have separate bedrooms because of his snoring. The new house has 3 double rooms and one box room. Our two children really want a double room each and to be far they’re 18 and 17 and will be hanging out in their bedrooms the majority of time. My husband literally only sleeps in his bedroom, while I spend loads of time working in my bedroom. It seems obvious to me that he should get the box room but he won’t hear of it. I instigated the move so he’s not thrilled in general.

What are the current sleeping arrangements?

You need to address your internalised misogyny. At no point in the OP was it said that the snoring husband either worked or paid for this move.

We live in a world where plenty of women work and yet you jumped straight to the idea that he was funding this.

Anyway OP, if youre reading this of course your husband should have the box room. Firstly he is the one causing the issue with his snoring and secondly he only uses a room for sleeping so needs the least functionality out of it. It is just logic. But no doubt, like most men he will be socialised to always put himself first, even where his offspring are concerned.

It would be healthier for you to work in a different room to where you sleep. I'd be seizing the opportunity to have a desk in the big bedroom and a gorgeous sleep sanctuary for myself in the box room.

You sound ridiculously sensible 🙂

I'd definitely reconsider my place in the family, agree.

I'd do this as well. Keep everything in the bedroom but sleep in the box room.

But DH would have to be up and out when I needed to work.

I have whichever room is coolest/warmest (depending on obvious of course 😊).

Lots of people commute to work. Every day.

Someone has to be!

So your DH doesn't want to move, now has to commute back to the old house for work, AND you want him to have the box room? Wow! Your poor DH.

I decided to move into a separate bedroom as I found I sleep much better that way and, on the nights when I'm not sleeping well, I can do my own thing without disturbing DH. Because it was my decision and DH wasn't keen, I moved into the smaller bedroom and he has the larger bedroom with the en suite. However, I have said to him that if we ever move (a lottery or Omaze win would be necessary) it is my turn for the nicer room.

I agree- he snores and he won’t use the room during the day so logic tells me he should use it. It just seems to be symbolically wrong?

But she’s not the one with the snoring issue…the husband is. And it seems he’s doing nothing to sort it out!

Sure, but maybe not one of the parents who works full-time!

Not exactly the same, is it?

I think he will end up loving it. If he chooses his tenants wisely he'll end up in a fun-filled frat house. He only needs to pop to the new rental every now and then to show his face, have a family meal and to get his laundry done.

Wow! He’s not paying for it though is he? But interesting that you jumped straight to this conclusion!! 🤯

Also…he’s the one who’s keeping the OP awake at night due to his snoring…which it seems that he’s not taking any steps to sort out! In any world, the one causing the discomfort should be the one to fix it…so he’s the one who needs to sleep in the spare room until he does! 🤷‍♀️

Toyally! This is how we solve all our dilemmas 😂

Where I am (Ireland) the smallest bedroom (which in some new builds often just about fits a single bed and little more) is usually referred to as the box room. They do have windows.

Originally in great houses it was literally a room for storing trunks etc, but the term is used differently now to mean very small bedrooms too.

Not exactly the same but doesn't mean he's not going to want to spend his evenings and sleeping with his family.

If commuting to work means he no longer wants to spend his evenings with his family then I think they have bigger issues than who sleeps in the box room! Imagine if everyone who had a commute to work just slept there because the effort to come home was too much!

This seems fairest. Especially when your DH isn’t really on board with the move. But if you are doing what is best for your DC and your DH still has access to your substantive home, then it seems fair enough. You will both need to have a proper conversation at the end of the two years though, if you are preferring this location. Perhaps a permanent move to a new home you choose together and are both happy with ?

True, not necessarily. But it sounds like he's been sidelined in this move. Resentments can build. Of course, if that's the case, then he shouldn't hide in another house but make decisions about what he wants long-term.

Assuming he is paying his share of the rent/mortgage/bills the same as you are, then yes - you are being very unreasonable. I’d say you share the master bedroom but take it in turns to go and sleep in the box room.

We sleep apart when it’s hot as I need the windows open and fan on and my DH is very noise sensitive, but we take it in turns to sleep in the spare room.

Me too.
Means I'm in a single bed but as said before, my 2 kids have their friends round in their rooms, I just sleep in there and it won't be forever.