AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

[HonestLimeHam]

Husband wants to take (then) 5 year old son on trip for 10 days/2 weeks next summer.

i think it’s too long and too far. Think DS will find it too long. Husband adamant it will be fine, wants to do it for bonding etc. Told him to try shorter trip and go from there, 3/4 nights, see how they get on, jump straight to two weeks is extreme, he disagrees. I think two weeks from them then too long and I’ll miss them.

A bit more context is needed I think. Where would they be going? Same country or abroad? What would they be doing? Why wouldn’t you be going?

Abroad, location TBC. He wants to take him somewhere with theme parks, swimming pool beach etc. He has brought this up as a bonding trip for them to do things together, I’d be at home with 2 year old.

Yabu. Mine at that age’s were spending two weeks 300 miles away at my parents every summer then two weeks with their dad. Absolutely fine, never any issues and I have very well rounded adults now. It’s your anxiety and unless there’s a huge backstory it’ll be great for him

It's almost tempting to let the stupid twat do it, and let him deal with all the problems.

Seriously though, it's far too much at that age. When DS is 10 or 11 is going to work much better in terms of bonding.I think your suggestion of starting with a few days is by far the most practical suggestion, maybe have a rethink depending on how it goes.

@TonTonMacoute what makes the father a 'stupid twat'?

I think this is weird as surely a holiday should be for all the family? Unless it's to solve a childcare issue or visiting family it seems weird.

I mean, he is his parent, so I don’t see any issue there.

I do think a two week holiday is exhausting for a kid and the parent though!

My ex would take our sons away (10 years apart so just one of them) while I was working. All fine.

He is your dh and child s dad. They will be fine

@TonTonMacoute
Maybe he is a fully functioning hands on parent.

Well no one would bat an eye at a mother taking a 5 year old away for a two week holiday so unless you decided to have a child with someone you don't consider to be an effective equal parent then I don't understand why this would be a problem?

What? I don’t get what is too much about a child going on a holiday with a parent? Why can’t all 4 of you go?

My four-year-old would be fine with doing this

I can’t really think of a single issue with taking a five year old abroad for 2 weeks other than you’re not all going together. Why would he be going on his own?We took ours away for 2 weeks from being 4 months old.

Why does he want to “bond with” your eldest child on his own for two weeks and at the same time not “bond with” your youngest child for the duration?

I mean, it can be great to divide and conquer and give each child some time with a parent one on one, but two weeks abroad seems like a long time.

I’m failing to see the problem with a child and parent spending two weeks together.

Two week holidays are pretty standard so really don’t see an issue with this?

Particularly if he’s planned theme parks and activities and swimming etc - your 5 year old will love it! I think you knowing you’ll miss your child is clouding your perspective on how much your child will love it

So will you not have a family holiday together? 2 weeks is a lot out of your holiday entitlement

He is hands on, don’t have any issues with parenting. I’m more worried about son missing me and home.

You aren’t saying the real reason why you don’t want him and DS to have a 2 week holiday together while you’re home with a 2yr old.

It certainly isn’t the one you’ve given. A two week holiday abroad with a 5 yr old is nothing to worry about. It’s not going to be too much nor is it extreme.

My dad used to do this every summer (granted we were a couple years older when we first went on holiday without our mum) and it was great for bonding (and also being independent away from our primary caregiver).

Always baffles me when women have partners who can’t look after their own children solo for a few days, let alone take them on holiday for a substantial time on their own - I would be taking advantage of the fact your partner is keen!

We have other holidays that year, we are lucky with annual leave in work, we get almost 29 days.

Turn the tables ,if you had the opportunity to take him on a 2 week holiday abroad, would you ?

So he's not allowed on a nice trip to somewhere new and exciting with his dad who you admit is a hands on parent because you're worried he might miss you? Seriously?

Thank you. Yes do think it is anxiety is clouding my thoughts, I do suffer from it.