AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

[HonestLimeHam]

Husband wants to take (then) 5 year old son on trip for 10 days/2 weeks next summer.

i think it’s too long and too far. Think DS will find it too long. Husband adamant it will be fine, wants to do it for bonding etc. Told him to try shorter trip and go from there, 3/4 nights, see how they get on, jump straight to two weeks is extreme, he disagrees. I think two weeks from them then too long and I’ll miss them.

Your affair theory is a bit of a stretch. Most five year olds can’t hold their own water, so I’m sure OP would soon be hearing about “Daddy’s friend”.

Two words- Holiday clubs

How does that tally with the hang out together and look they get on so well thesis?

And the kid is going to say if he was just stuck in holiday club for two weeks.

I assume you would feel the same about him missing his dad if you was to take him away somewhere tgen

My parents used to do this. One would take me and my sister to a holiday place for first two weeks. Then other would join us for second day two weeks and the first parent would go home to work. Meant me and sis got a 4 weeks of holiday which we loved!

Why on earth would a 5 year be napping?? And why would people be a slave to " bedtime routines" on holiday?

I think two weeks would be too long for my 5 YO to be away from both me or DH. I feel like normally this would be a weekend or 1 week thing.

I have three now young adult boys. Eldest would probably have been ok with this. Middle one would have really struggled and missed me a lot. I think youngest would also have found it too long but would’ve been ok with a week.
You know your child but I think a few days at that age would be enough for most children.

We took our DCs overseas from being babies. Admittedly we were both there, maybe that's what you need to do instead and all go...

The misandry in this thread is ridiculous. And now he’s having an affair? The mind boggles.

Why does it have to be anxiety meaning someone doesn’t want their child to have a whole load of new experiences without them there to see it? I honestly think on mn people just look to argue whereas in real life if this came up there’d be an argument because at that age both parents should be a part of life experiences and things like holidays should be family experiences

Great laugh from the affair suggestions 😂

Why don't you and the 2 year old go? Assuming it's a financial issue, could you not all go for a week.
I know people used to go away for two weeks, but a 2 week holiday is often quite long.

5 year olds have no concept of time. These clubs are usually morning/afternoon or both. The kid could go to the holiday club in the morning and do something interesting in the afternoon and then dad could talk about it vaguely going to holiday club a couple mornings. Kid isn’t going to be counting the days and monitoring the time.

If the boy gets on with the woman’s kids in the same club, the boy will see it as daddy talking to one of the other kids mums and not pay it much attention. Even dinner time in those resort hotels, it can be easy to excuse sitting with this other parent on occasion. No available tables, kind enough to share a table, the kids got on etc etc.

I only think about this because I know of two people who have had a holiday with their affair partner in this way. Perhaps I’m jaded 🤷🏽‍♂️

I guess this would be totally weird to me- if he wanted to go on a fun child friendly pool holiday but leave me with 2yo I’d be wtf? 2yos love pool holidays!! We can all come or you can make it a bonding weekend.

5yos need to go to bed including on holiday, you’d be out of routine of course but you’d still be getting them to bed at 8 and then… alone in the hotel room. You couldn’t leave. Would be way better with partner and 2yo and you can hang out together and some nights support the other to go for a solo drink or walk. I don’t get this at all.

Never once did we stick to ‘bedtime routines’ on any holiday we ever went on. Day at the pool, beach or anywhere would result in us all having a shower and nap when we got back and then up, get ready and back out.

Why aren’t you all going? That’s very weird.

Why do you think it's weird. The 2 year old is likely to be in nursery and the OP is probably working. Not weird at all.

The comments on this thread determined to think this is wrong, part of some sort of elaborate lie or not ok are the reason the bar is set so low for men.

I’m a single parent.

I often took fs away for 7-14 nights.

He was fine.

Lots of kids go away with just 1 parent. Lots of kids go away for a week or more.

I think it sounds great.

Why is two weeks too long? I thought that was a normal period of time to go on holiday, a week never seems enough. We took ours away for three weeks and had a great time, nobody was bored or got fed up.

Our 5yr old goes to bed the same time as us on holiday. We are generally tired from the sun and being active so we all go to bed around 10pm.

I know your concerns are simply along the lines of how your 5yr old would be away from mum and home for 2 weeks but would he be okay with you doing the same (even if you don’t actually want to)? Would he be okay with you using 10 days leave next year and taking your DD away for two weeks leaving DH with 2/3yr old? I bet a lot of outsiders will view you leaving him with a little one for two weeks very differently and view you differently for being okay with leaving your little one for that long.

DH used to get masses more leave than me. The year before DS2 started school, DH took him away for 2 weeks, while I went to work, and DS1 went to school.
DS1 demanded a similar trip the following year! So Id say the kids really valued the 1-1 time with a parent.

They are both now teens. Next week DS1 has got himself a weeks work next to my work - and DS2 & DH are going awsy for the week.

Let them go. Its brilliant to let Dad be the major parent for a while. Its lovely for the kids to get some 1-1 time. And it may or may not be nice fir you to have a bit less to think about for a week.

I take my older DC on trips alone so we can have 1:1 time but they’re teens. I don’t know why you’d take a 5 year old abroad for so long alone, especially to a place with water parks and such when you could just go as a family? If he’s worried about 1:1 time, he could take the 5 yo on excursions alone while there and you do something different with the younger child.

I think its a great idea, but agree 2 weeks is a bit long. I'd suggest he just goes for a week.