AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

[HonestLimeHam]

Husband wants to take (then) 5 year old son on trip for 10 days/2 weeks next summer.

i think it’s too long and too far. Think DS will find it too long. Husband adamant it will be fine, wants to do it for bonding etc. Told him to try shorter trip and go from there, 3/4 nights, see how they get on, jump straight to two weeks is extreme, he disagrees. I think two weeks from them then too long and I’ll miss them.

Why would he? He’d be with his dad having the time of his life!

Ffs. No way you’d say that if it was the mother taking him away. Dads get crucified for not stepping up and now they aren’t allowed to take their son in a 2 week holiday alone? It’s completely unfair

I think it’s odd that your DH wants to take your 5 yo on a two week holiday leaving you at home with your toddler. Why wouldn’t you all go ?

Especially if it’s a trip to Disney or the like, surely you’d want to be there to experience it all with him. Why can’t they go away for a long weekend somewhere just the two of them ?

It seems odd to deny your own child a fun holiday. I do this with our oldest, we tend to only do a week due to finances and annual leave, we have a great time. My husband also often does the same with our youngest. Like yours OP they’re at different stages, so its nice to be able to spoil them with a holiday for them, rather than 50/50 for each sibling. Ours would both be fine if we had the time and finances to do it for two weeks.

Our two are having a weeks holiday next week without either of us, they’ll have a great time.

Us missing our children isn’t a good enough reason for them to miss going on holiday.

DH took DS at about this age for 10 days. It was fine (except for the time he accidentally sent photos to the class whatsapp group instead of me! ). DD would have found it harder to be away from me for that long at a similar age.

So I think it depends on the child.

FWIW I had a two week holiday with my Aunt when I was five and at that point, I hadn't seen her for a year. I had a wonderful time and it's a holiday I have never forgotten.

Bonding - pffft. He’s picking the easiest child and leaving you with the hard work. I don’t know why people are seeing this as beneficial to anybody but him.

I think two weeks is a lot out of a 29 day annual leave allocation, because I would also be expecting him to take the two year old away for the same amount of time “for bonding”.

I’d be saying take them both and give me some peace!

Let dad and son bond for two weeks, you take your two year old for somewhere age appropriate for one on one time somewhere to, then next time around he takes the younger and you take the older one. One on one time is important too

I agree and that op says he's not done it before and she made the very reasonable suggestion that he works up to it but was dismissed. Few days this summer then a week. If he did this building up to 2 weeks it might be easier fir everyone.

YABU on the face of it because there’s nothing wrong with it. From 5 I was going with my dad abroad for 2-3 weeks each year (separated parents). Of course, difficult for my mum and I get why this is a big deal for you! However, I am very glad she let me do this each year.

Is your DH not competent? Why would 2 weeks with Dad be too long?

sounds like you are more worried about yourself than your son. 2 weeks 1:1 time with a parent could be really special.

Let him do it and enjoy the bonding time with your little one.

I don't understand why all 4 of you aren't going.

Quite. A family holiday benefits everybody. He could take the children away for the weekend one at a time and bond then.

DS has been taking one or both DGCs away by himself since they were very small. I don’t understand the problem.
He and DGC1 did a 800km cycle trip, camping, when dgs1 was 8, they’ve had a number of fantastic adventures over the years.

Maybe in your household. Other people approach their lives/free time/relationships/holidays differently...the variations are endless. No 'surely' about it and it's not that weird.

OP - a year can make a remarkable difference in development. You're basing it on how he is now.
Let this one sit with you for a while. Personally, I can't see anything wrong with it.

YABU, he will be fine. If he's homesick then DH will have to deal with it. The fact that he feels he needs to take DS out of the country for 2 weeks to 'bond' suggests you may be a bit controlling of DS' time with him?

Two weeks is too long .
If you feel it is too long for your 5 year old, then it is. I agree.
It somehow makes it worse if it’s a long flight, a distant country.
One week is long enough for the first trip, and for the first long separation from you, his mum.

He probably will miss you of course but then his dad will be there and they’ll be doing fun stuff and he’ll get over it. I think you are centring your feelings here a bit too much. I think mums can easily fall into a habit of thinking we’re the most important parent, which shouldn’t be the case. I think it’s a great idea. He’s 5, not 5 months, he’ll be fine and it’s a good lesson about dad being an equal parent rather than a sub in when mums not there.

DB bought my 2 year old nephew over from the US to come on a weeks holiday with his English family. Mum couldn’t get off work. He had his grandparents, aunts/uncles/cousins to play with and had a great time. Why should he miss out on that?

He’s taking his 5yo away to meet his affair partner? Yeah…… course he is 😂

I'm taking my 6yo (and 9yo) away for nearly 3weeks, so I don't think the trip itself is the problem. However it seems really unfair if husband and one child get a holiday but you and the other one don't. Can't you all go somewhere together, and just have some split days, when one of you takes 5yo to the theme park and the other takes the toddler to the pool

It’s perfectly fine. Massive bias in this thread. “It’s far too long to be away from
his mum”. Why on earth?
Hopefully OP will on say this is a reverse.