AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

[HonestLimeHam]

Husband wants to take (then) 5 year old son on trip for 10 days/2 weeks next summer.

i think it’s too long and too far. Think DS will find it too long. Husband adamant it will be fine, wants to do it for bonding etc. Told him to try shorter trip and go from there, 3/4 nights, see how they get on, jump straight to two weeks is extreme, he disagrees. I think two weeks from them then too long and I’ll miss them.

I think it’s a nice idea but 2 weeks is a long time for you to not see your son. Instead of phrasing it like he needs to ‘build up’ to a longer trip, could you explain your miss them and suggest he does a week instead?

😂😂😂😂

Of course he's having an affair. Maybe the 5 year old is also tge AP's child and not OP's 🫢. Ridiculous!

@HonestLimeHam , I think yabu or maybe just anxious. I was taking my daughter away for 2 and 3 weeks at a time to spend time with family abroad. As your husband is a good and competent parent; they'll be fine.
The beauty of technology now is you can also facetime often.

Well that’s the actual issue isn’t it. Kid and dad will be fine. It’s OP who will miss and/or resent them for going away.

This isn’t about you DC, it’s about you.

Yeah and I think that’s ok to say. 2 weeks is a long time not to see your 5yo and a 1 week trip (or even two 1 week trips) would still be wonderful for the kid and dad.

I’d let him go. Have a FaceTime call once or twice a day so he knows you haven’t gone away.

Why not let them go somewhere for the first week and join them for the second week.

To be fair, when my DH would take the older one abroad and I’d be at home with the youngest it still felt very much like a holiday for me too of sorts! Life with just the youngest at home was much easier and quieter than life with the two of there 🤣

It's a lovely idea but I would keep it to a week.

Well Ive never ever made mine go to bed at 8 on holiday. They would have missed the whole evening

You do realize that most people don't even go out for dinner until later than that in much of southern europe

And I have never sat in a hotel room all evening alone . Doesn't sound a bundle of gun

You are still married your DH wants to take his child away I’m not even sure why you wouldn’t think this is an amazing.

I went away for 6 weeks with my children, youngest was 4. DS's dad made daily videos for him using lego figures so DS would know he was thinking of him and stay connected. Was a brilliant holiday and I'd have been very unimpressed with my partner if he'd been against it.

Sounds awesome. Let them have fun together

Start with a week. Then try two weeks another year.

Dh has been a good dad, involved but worked long hours when I was a sahm. At one point his family were organising a holiday I didn’t want to go on, and we discussed whether he should take them. They were 4 and 6. There was no question that he could cope with them, and that his family would dote on them, and that they would have a great time. But dh also knew they’d miss mum at bedtime, and he wasn’t willing to put them (or himself) through that.

He was sent away for summer holidays as a child, where he had a great time, but also was terribly homesick for his mum.

Exactly this! Who pays to go on holiday to a different place, yet misses out on the whole evening cultural scene, food, music etc to sit in a hotel room because they can’t miss out on bedtime.

Would you take him on holiday for 2 weeks if you could? That’s your answer. It’s his dad. Unless they have a poor relationship, I think it’s a great idea.

It’s not the most outrageous proposal Ever but I’m another one who thinks it is odd!

it is fine for OP to miss her child and not want the trip for this reason. If it’s the first trip of this kind, it’s also fine for her to feel
she is missing out. These are not unreasonable points of views. If they were visiting family, that would be a reason to suck it up and also be more relaxed about care as there would other adults on hand, but they are not. Also sounds like there is no benefit of down time at home either as she is left with a two year old which may bring it’s own challenges of never getting a complete
break. Also while the two year old
wont miss the holiday, they may miss their dad. There is no way I would have voluntarily left my son at 2. I also wonder what precedent this is setting up … what’s the plan for the future? Even things up when the 2 year old hits 5 and the 10’year old is upset?

im not down on the idea of one parent taking a child. I do an annual mum and son holiday
with my boy but he is an only and we do 3 to 4 days. Two weeks is definitely going all in! I find my short break is good bonding time and a chance to do some things his dad doesn’t enjoy so much or that are relatively expensive to pay for three of us compared to two. I couldn’t afford a two week holiday like this on top of a family holiday either financially or in terms of leave but it sounds like this isn’t the case for the OP.

At 5 my ds got homesick on our 2 week trips and we were both with him!
Why won't he trial a weekend first?

I have think two weeks is too long for the Dad tbh as doing things like this as the only adult is relentless and exhausting as all single parents can attest to. Does he realise that he will need to be eyes on at all times the child is is awake? A swimming pool holiday is especially stressful.

This a bit too, when is his special extended time with his 2yo planned while the op looks after the 5yo who can talk and take themselves to the toilet and dress themselves and walk a km or so and doesnt understand no and doesn’t need a full cleaning service after every meal?
I just do not see why you would go on a holiday the 2yo would absolutely LOVE but just take the 5yo. If they were even a year older it would be super mean actually - my dd turned 4 not so long ago and for longer than the last year she would completely understand daddy had gon with big brother for days and days and days and forever, but she didn’t get to go. Thats without even knowing how it was a holiday she’d love. I could not do 2 weeks with one dc and just leave the others.

I don't get why all 4 of your wouldn't go together?
But if you're taking separate holidays, 2 weeks is fine to be with dad. You missing him should not stop him from having the opportunity to spend time with his dad.

Took our then 3yr old to Florida for 3 weeks. He didn't stop enjoying it all day, obvoiulsly tired at the end of the day but that's what sleeping is for

What are you real concerns? Unless you fear for the child's safety this is fine isnt it?

Very weird. You all go or none go.