AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

[HonestLimeHam]

Husband wants to take (then) 5 year old son on trip for 10 days/2 weeks next summer.

i think it’s too long and too far. Think DS will find it too long. Husband adamant it will be fine, wants to do it for bonding etc. Told him to try shorter trip and go from there, 3/4 nights, see how they get on, jump straight to two weeks is extreme, he disagrees. I think two weeks from them then too long and I’ll miss them.

Good god. He sounds like a great dad and your son will have an amazing time. So what if he misses you a bit? That should not override going away with his dad. This is completely a you issue. Don’t let yourself get in the way of their relationship.

Surprised at some of these comments, I thought it was common knowledge that one on one time between a parent and child is good for the relationship and child! 2 year old certainly wont remember being left out. Great opportunity for dad and child to bond, for child to learn to be away from mum, its a win win really. And even if they do get upset, or you get upset... well, its not really a big deal is it? So you miss them. Thats fine. They might get upset. Also fine. There will be plenty of times when that will happen in life and you will all survive!
Also if you really think neither will cope then... well, whats the worst that could happen really, they have to come home early? If your DH is happy to shell out for that eventuality then thats not a terrible disaster, lesson learned etc. Honestly, this could be the start of lots of great adventures!

@TonTonMacoute

WTF?

Tonton Macoute (Haitian Creole: Tonton Makout [tɔ̃tɔ̃ makut])[1][2][3] or simply the Macoute,[4][5] was a Haitian paramilitary and secret police force during the Duvalier family rule, created in 1959 by dictator François "Papa Doc" Duvalier. Haitians named this force after the Haitian mythological bogeyman, Tonton Macoute ("Uncle Gunnysack"), who kidnaps and punishes unruly children by snaring them in a gunny sack (macoute) before carrying them off to be consumed for breakfast.[6][7] The Macoute were known for their brutality, state terrorism, and assassinations.[8

I wouldn't want my husband to take my 5 year old son away for 2 weeks. 2 weeks is fine if you are all together but I would say a week max if it's just the 2 of them.

Absolute no on many levels. A 2 and a 5 year old are compatible holidsy together ages for a family holiday. Theme parks - even Disney - don't need to be part of a holiday for a 5 year old. An age appr theme park is a day out if you have to do it at all.

Well he probably will miss you here and there, but that wont kill him. And he'll be with a parent. I'd personally not want to solo parent a 5 year old for two weeks as I'm too lazy but is your DH is up for it, then great.

I’d prefer him to take him for a week. It is a long time for a small child to be away from their mother and younger sibling. Is there anyway you can join them for the last 3/4 days away.

He may a bit if he’s tired, but it’s not life threatening or anything!

That’s a really long time. Why can’t you all go together? Perhaps spend some days together and some doing separate things while you’re away so they can bond?

Sorry am I missing something. Dad wants to take his own child on holiday...and some people are saying that's wrong?
In a world full of dads who don't give a shit about their kids here's one who wants to build his relationship with his child and people are saying no?

A lot of people don't think younger ones should go on long plane journeys (is this one?) but some people do it and are ok, depends on your kid.

I think two weeks might work out better than a few days. It gives the child more time to settle down and enjoy the holiday. I don’t think it’s too long. My kids all did the occasional long trip without me. My husband isn’t particularly hands on either but they always managed and had a great time.

Also, imagine how amazing it would be for you to have two weeks child and husband free. That would be a fantastic break for you.

The tone of some of these responses is ridiculous. “Stupid twat”…. really?

I agree that he’s being a little unrealistic, particularly if it’s just the two of them. You just need to ensure that your judgment isn’t clouded by the fact that you’ll understandably miss him. That said, I do think a shorter break might be better.

A lot depends on context, and I’ve assumed he’s a competent good dad and no concerns about him being cared for, etc.

I think one on one time with each child is important and we’ve done weekends with each child separately but 2 weeks would be way too long for me. My kids actually wouldn’t want to, they’d be asking for each other. A 2 week holiday should be a family holiday. Your 2 year old would equally enjoy much of what your DH plans to do with your DS

swimming pool

That alone would make me nervous...

But you know him and how responsible he is with his child.

Going against the grain here, but I do think that two weeks away from a parent is a bit much at the age of 5! I can't imagine not seeing my children for two weeks (eldest only 6, others younger). I think a few days/a week would be lovely.

I am planning to take my eldest away for 4-5 days for his 7th birthday, just me and him. Any longer and I know he would really miss his Dad and siblings (as would I!).

I'm not saying that it would do any damage, but why is it necessary? (Also, I would hate being left at home with a 2yo while my husband got to spend 2 weeks with a 5 year old!!!)

OP won't be child free, they have a 2 yr old too

My husband has been taking our children abroad without me since they were 3 and they have an amazing time!!

I obviously miss them……but it’s also glorious having 2-3 weeks of child free time.

Just let them go OP - it will be fine!

I imagine parents who are separated take their child on holidays on their own and it’s not considered to be a drama?

I was taken aback by the choice of username too. Thanks for sharing the info for the benefit of any posters who were unaware of the Tonton Macoute.

I think it is ok OP. I guess you plan similar?

How unfair (on the kids and on you) that he only wants to bond with the 5 year old! What about his younger one? It would be much more appropriate to have a big holiday together as a family of 4, and of course if DH wants some special time with his elder DC then ok but it should be for a weekend, or long weekend (or even a week if he insists) - not 2 weeks.

I agree OP that's just too long.
A short break will be perfect but 2 weeks can be really hard for anyone!
Why risk it?

3/4 days will be perfect.

X

Is this really a chance for your DP to relive a lost youth / childhood. An excuse for theme parks and games? Will you have an equivalent holiday budget OP?

What?? Why can’t you and the 2 year old go on this trip too and they can take days out together to bond? I can’t lie, this sounds very bizarre. Family’s normally go on those sorts of foreign holidays together? I’d be really p-off if they were going on a jolly for 10 days and leaving me with a 2 year old. Especially if I was then expect to use my leave to cover boring stuff later in the year. 10 days is a big chunk out of that holiday leave.

I also think husband has unrealistic expectations of what a 5 year old can handle. Most theme parks with a couple of exceptions, are not aimed at children as young as 5. He’ll also spend a lot of time in his room with a napping child, and will have to hang out in the bedroom from 8pm to have any chance of maintaining a normal bedtime routine. If you were there at least he’d have company?

That leads me to my next question. Any chance he’s having an affair and will be meeting up with someone with kids while there- and oh look they get on so well and hang out together all holiday? It’s so weird and unreasonable I’ve got to wonder what’s going on there.