AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

[HonestLimeHam]

Husband wants to take (then) 5 year old son on trip for 10 days/2 weeks next summer.

i think it’s too long and too far. Think DS will find it too long. Husband adamant it will be fine, wants to do it for bonding etc. Told him to try shorter trip and go from there, 3/4 nights, see how they get on, jump straight to two weeks is extreme, he disagrees. I think two weeks from them then too long and I’ll miss them.

Sounds fine to me. I used to go to Australia every year for 3 weeks with my mum while my dad worked. My dad and I would also go skiing without my mum most years too.

Why? Separate holidays are perfectly normal.

I assumed you must be divorced.

Why have separate holidays? That’s weird.

I assumed you were separated! I can't imagine me or dh taking one child and leaving other parent for 2 weeks

I thought this was going to be a non-resident parent. I can't see any need for him to take a child away for that long to bond. I also don't think there's anything wrong with admitting "I don't want to be away from my son for that long"; I think that's a perfectly reasonable objection even if the child will be fine.

What is he going to be doing three years later? Trip away with the younger one when they are 5? Trip away with each of them every year? Alternating? What if there are more children? It's worth working out what the long-term plan is.

I know a family where each kid went off for a week with their dad after their GCSEs - great opportunity for a bit of one-to-one time, utilising the gap before their siblings finished term. But for a five year old, it seems a bit unnecessary.

Mine were spending at least that with their Dad over the summer holidays, can’t see the problem as they’re with their Dad.

Standard Mumsnet.

I mean it’s his actual dad not a random stranger so I can’t see how it’s too long. Would you think 2 weeks was too long for him to spend with you? Sounds like there is no back story or specific reason either

It’s a bit odd them going alone given you are not separated, other than that a non issue.

No it’s fine. He’s his father and loads of people holiday that long with kids that young. My nephew (just 4) has done it multiple times.

OP, why don't you get to go? DH and DS could do these things with you spending time with the 2 year old, nobody would miss anyone. We have a 9 year gap between oldest and youngest and did plenty of one going in one direction with the older ones while younger one did something else and then came back together.

We never did a 2 week holiday as older two would have missed their mum by then and you might be right that DS might. If you all go you could have the best of both worlds. I would still now happily lie and read a book during the hottest part of the day in an air conditioned room while a two year old had a nap and everyone else was off doing something different.

He only wants to take one child though. He’s not taking both kids, the 2 year old gets left at home so it’s not a break for mum either.

Would people be of the same opinion if the OP said she was taking the 2 year old away for 2 weeks and leaving her son behind? I think not

People wouldn't be thinking it's too long to keep the 2 year old away from its dad. Because on her apparently women are the " greater" parents

My point wasn’t about the Dad, I think people would think it’s strange for the OP to take one child away and not the other. How would you also explain that to a 5 year old, why they aren’t going on the holiday?

The OP said it has nothing to do with her DH’s capability as a parent, she will miss her DS and thinks he will miss home for that period of time

I've taken one( or 2) of them away and not the others. That's no biggie

For 2 weeks? And on a holiday/ to a destination that your other kids would enjoy?

Wow. Do you have any inkling of how many women have to beg or bully the fathers of their children to take any interest or spend any time with them at all? I think it’s a great idea.

Yes. Because taking all of them would be restrictive on doing stuff as interests so varied

But that’s the point- a 2 year old and a 5 year old would both enjoy swimming, going to a theme park etc. As I said before, how would this land if it was roles reversed and the OP was taking the 2 year old? Imagine DS FaceTiming and his mum and sibling are in the pool or getting home and seeing photos of them at a theme park or water park. How would you explain this to a 5 year old?

I think the DH wants to do a 2 week holiday with the older child because it’s easier and he won’t be chasing a toddler about/ worrying about naps etc. And that’s fine for a long weekend, I’ve seen plenty of families leave younger ones behind to take older children to Disney etc but that’s for a few days, not a fortnight. I’d be very surprised if he plans a 2 week trip to bond with the 2 year old

2 weeks seems long for a ‘bonding trip’ even a week to me would be too long.

If he is such a great Dad I don’t understand why he would need a 2 week holiday for bonding anyway. Plenty of days out he could do throughout the year.

What would he say if you wanted to do the same? Leave him at home with the 2 year old?

Me personally it’s a no. There really is no need for a 2 week holiday, holiday should be saved for family holidays and days out.

A week to ten days fine. I wouldn't be comfortable with any more at that age. You'd worry and you'd miss him.

Because it's the way a lot of women on MN refer to men who have the audacity not to agree with them, the ones who expect to rule to roost.

I agree no need to say that...alot on mn refer to men like that

Why would a swimming pool make you nervous? Surely 1 adult can supervise 1 child in a pool?

my DH regularly takes both our kids (4 & 6) swimming by himself.

sounds like some of the posters on this thread of feckless husbands/fathers for their children if they think he wouldn’t cope with 1 5 year old child!

I've done a few trips with just my son but I've only got one child and we've never done as long as that. I think it's a bit weird he's ok leaving the two year old that long.