To think that if a man doesnt see his child for a period of 14 days (bar exceptional circumstances/agreed holidays/court agreed schedules) then they should lose parental responsibility?

[hotmumshit]

Saw a woman online who cant take her 4 kids on holiday as their dad refuses to give permission, despite him not seeing the kids or paying maintenance

'Equality for dads' has really served to oppress women further

Pr is not about seeing your child? Huh? 😭

If you cant be arsed to parent, let someone else do it and be free while doing so I say

Well ive gone back

Shes very unhappy and clearly exhausted

Lots of people in the comments advising her but it shouldn't be that difficult bless her

Go to court. The court will order DWP and HRMC searches. He'll be served with papers, if he refuses to engage, court will determine. If he engages he has no reason to refuse/court wont find it reasonable to disagree with your request.

Ok

Many people dont realise you can get a court order quite cheaply

Many men say they have "no problems" giving permission then when you have booked and paid for it suddenly say no at the last minute when you simply dont have time

With the passports I have heard of the passport office refusing to reissue passports if one parent says they are not lost and the other parent is a flight risk

Its a control tactic and the reason ive never taken my children out of the country on holiday my ex even kicked off about us going away for a week in this country he freely missed contact for holidays himself but me? Absolutely kicked off demanded a week of his own to take them on holiday (I agreed freely) and got a yeah of course your going to say yes cant wait to get rid of the kids can you and FYI he has never ever taken the kids on holiday its been 10 years since this one

Without a court order the RP has a lot of control.

Absolutely agree there are cases where a parent should not be allowed unsupervised contact and yet it’s court ordered in the opposition.

But i also know cases whereby mums (and it is usually mums in this case) who say their child’s dad can’t see them. The dad then needs court ordered access and that doesn’t happen overnight.

The truth is without a court order either parent could refuse to return the child and usually where this happens it’s the dad refusing to return to the mum with is usually RP. Without a court order either parent could collect from school anyday and take them to their residence and refuse to return them to the other parent.

It’s not the PR issue as such but more that in cases where the parents co parenting relationship has broken down the system is extremely hard and long and expensive to navigate.

I don’t think (or have!) that is an easy answer as one size will never fit all in these circumstances.

I really hate judging parents but I think this is awful parenting. Do you spend anytime with your children? People may not say it, especially if you're in the circles of other parents who do the same, but people will judge you harshly for this, silently maybe, but they will.

No. What a horrible thing to say. I know of so many women who would purposely set their ex up so that the 14 day period would be exceeded.

Really nasty of you, op. Thankfully it's just your fantasy.

I would think that after 12 (? Might be too harsh) month's of no contact with your child without "a" reason court should be able to reduce your rights until you apply to have them reinstated so you would have the right to pay child support but not able to get them from school/keep them without permission prevent holidays etc might encourage parents to remain in contact or at least give children some sort of emotional relief the worst thing about my ex was he yoyos he left for a couple of years and is now back acting like a victim because his (nearly adult) children CBA to make room in their lives for him anymore

I think I get where you’re coming from OP. If the default parent (usually the mother) decided they just wouldn’t see the kids for a couple of weeks then it would be considered neglectful. So why should the other parent skip visits to the kids unless there are exceptional circumstances. Lone parents don’t get to just “skip visits” because they can’t be arsed. They are there 24/7 regardless of the circumstances. As a lone parent I can’t see many reasons why someone couldn’t show up to see their kids. And I agree that if someone is willing to let their kids down, they shouldn’t have any rights about what the default parent does with them.

Of course there could be legitimate reasons they don’t see the kids but these would all come under exceptional circumstances (as are many of the scenarios most posters have given).

Yes, i can verify that. it happened to me. I couldn't take my kid on holidays until he was nearly an adult. My ex wouldn't allow it. Wasn't paying any maintenance and wasn't seeing our child

So what was her reasoning that she couldn't get a specific issue order? Just that she couldn't be bothered jumping through hoops?

She's not coming off very well either because she is also stopping her children having a holiday by not just getting a specific issue order to take them, and to get the passports back.

My dad had a breakdown when he was in his 40s. We did not see him for two months. He was separated from my mum. He was really mentally unwell due to not having dealt with childhood abuse. He got himself together and he and my mum have a lovely friendship and I adore him. The cycle would have continued with me if he had lost pr.

I take it you're not a single parent, OP? Because if you were you'd realise how lightly many mums tiptoe around to keep the peace and to keep the ex in our kids' lives. We'd rather our exes did little if the alternative is nothing. It's not about holding the ex to account. It's about doing what's best for your kids. And on balance it's probably better in most cases for kids to see their fathers once a month than never.
None of this is ideal, and none of it is particularly fair. But it's the pragmatic line that many of us learn to walk.
(To be clear, I'm answering the question in the title. I don't know about the specific case you mention. Although I'm fairly sure there will be more to it than you read in the media.)

So the immaculate conception @hotmumshit ?

How else would you say you have no skin in the game but then also that you are a single parent?

Exactly!

This. If the OP has children, then she must have had a man at some time. He has clearly treated her badly, and she is projecting really badly, by coming up with this batshit idea that ANY MAN who doesn't see his children for 2 WEEKS can never see them again!

I can't believe I am even responding on this ludicrous thread to be honest!

As a pp said, doing this would be no more than a get-out-of-jail-free card for feckless men to not be arsed with the responsibility of their own children, and leave ALL the responsibility to the mother.

LUDICROUS idea, and thank GOD @hotmumshit cannot make this happen!

No, 14 days could be for any reason!

yes @hotmumshit is being very weird about her circumstances

on the one hand she says that she has no skin in the game “thank god”

then says she is a single parent and just her and her children

weird

Maybe her kids are grown maybe she has a court order

Maybe she used a sperm donor. Or adopted as a single person.

So bizarre not to clarify then when asked what her circumstances are.

The circumstances behind such a strong dogmatic view are often relevant hence asking

So a court order then would mean the Op definitely did have skin in the game

Yeah, she didn't.

Probably because she's discussing someone else's situation not her own its not always relevant

There's only one reason why someone doesn't see their kids. Well, two.

1. They haven't taken legal action.
2. The legal action has barred them.