To think that if a man doesnt see his child for a period of 14 days (bar exceptional circumstances/agreed holidays/court agreed schedules) then they should lose parental responsibility?

[hotmumshit]

Saw a woman online who cant take her 4 kids on holiday as their dad refuses to give permission, despite him not seeing the kids or paying maintenance

'Equality for dads' has really served to oppress women further

And yes it pisses me off. I cannot take DD abroad as she has her father’s surname (we were engaged when he left) and whilst I would likely be ok, there’s still a good chance I could be pulled aside at immigration and asked to produce written permission from her father…. Who I not only have not heard from in a decade but also wouldn’t have a clue where to find him! In which case we would be deported and slapped with a gigantic bill for the pleasure

So the father doesnt see the kids or pay maintenance. How would he even know mum had taken the kids on holiday?

She had to ask him for permission, she says

He has. She says she was at home and he didn't turn up. He said he did and she wasn't in. How can either of then prove it?

Sorry - some men are just awful 💐, but i bet your dd knows she has a mum who will never leave her

Barring travel, illness or prison. Then yanbu you have a point.

I could never take my children abroad because their dad (absent for 15yrs now) wasn't around to give permission. I couldn't easily officially double barrel their surnames either.

I dunno then tbh, but him trying to see the kid is proof enough of an exemtion from my proposed law

She does, thank you. I’m grateful he’s not in her life to be honest and I’m also grateful that he went when she was too little to miss him. Silver lining!

But that's the point. He says he tries to see the child. She says he doesn't. There's no proof either way.

was your ex and father to your child awful @hotmumshit ?

There would be written proof. Emails, texts etc

Just like you prove anything these days

The same way you hire a lawyer for a custody battle, youd hire a lawyer to prove you deserve to retain PR

Omg ive already said no 😭

Just me and dc

Parents do abduct their children. That's why you have to get permission. And parents sometimes live far away, in which case they can usually only see their children in the holidays to avoid disruption to their schooling. Your proposal is unreasonable.

Same. I wanted to double barrel DD’s name but I have zero way to get his permission and I don’t want to start using it without it being official as I’ve witnessed someone have so many issues through having 2 different surnames (one official and one unofficial but what everyone knows you by). It’s a legal, beurocratic nightmare as an adult

Yes 100%

I havent read all of the thread but Im sure someone else has already pointed out that she could easily go to court to get permission and if in the child's best interests to go on holiday its almost 99% likely to be agreed in that circumstance.

Did she go to court?

Agree that permission is needed

But you shouldn't have the ability to veto someone's holiday if you cant parent properly, according to an agreed parenting style

Most people dont live in two countries parenting one kid, but if they did, such a thing would be an exceptional circumstance

She didnt, she said she couldn't - i cant remember now as ive gone onto christmastok

She has 4 kids on her own, maybe shes just fed up

You can order passports.

You're being spun a line

In the UK the only way people lose PR is via adoption or in incredibly rare circumstances where a parent may lose it in other ways.

Your suggestion is ridiculous.

So he Texts her "where are you? I'm outside the house to pick DC up"

She texts him "thanks for turning up today, not! Fed up with upset kids when you don't show up"

Which text is real?

And fwiw texts aren't always admissible as proof. I had text proof that my ex didn't live with his new GF as he claimed, and therefore the reduction on CM for living with her DC was wrong. CMS told me there was no proof the text was real, even though I could show that it came from the number they had on record as being his. (He meant to text her saying he missed her and wished they could live together, but sent it to me by mistake)

No way.

I have come across mums with personality disorders who don't allow the dad's contact even though the dads want to. Or they make the dad's life hell because of delusional beliefs and paranoia. Or they use their children as weapons to get revenge on the dads.

14 days is a ridiculous expectation. Lots of reasons why having a meaningful parental relationship with a child can exist with less contact. People can live a long way away for example.

Tim to get off TikTok OP.

There are lots of mums that prevent that by hook or by crook

And OP you dont seem to know that PR is not about 'seeing' your child, its about having PR for your child, parental responsbility. Responsibility. Not rights. Not entitlement to see them

Contact is for the child.

Well she can go to court if she has the money to go abroad.

My ex hasn’t seen our children in 3 years (and still has PR) and I still don’t agree with this. Something more realistic like a year would have made more sense and you would have had more people agreeing.