AIBU to feel uncomfortable about anti-English vibes from family?

[Notcominhomenow]

I'm English, my DH is Argentinian, and we have a 2-year-old DS.

I've always got on well with his family and we've visited them a few times or theyve come here. I speak the language fluently and am fairly integrated in that sense. DH has lived in the UK for 13 years and has always been very clear that he'd never move back to Argentina because of the economic situation there.

This week's football match was the first time England and Argentina have played each other since we've been together. I supported England (as I always would) and DH supported Argentina. Neither of us are particularly hardcore football fans, so we watched it without any issues like mature adults.

The wider family has been a different story though. My BIL and some of DH's cousins have been sharing anti-English posts on social media, "The Falklands are Argentinian" posts, and videos in the family WhatsApp group after the match showing people in DH's hometown chanting that the Falklands belong to Argentina and waving inflammatory flags. It's a very conservative small town.

I genuinely can't imagine my own family sharing any anti-Argentinian content or trying to inflame tensions like that if the situation were reversed.

I've never had particularly strong feelings about the Falklands issue or cared that much, but I can't help feeling there's just no need for thus politicisation of a sport. Most of the people posting are the younger members of the family, but they seem to have forgotten that both me and DS are English. It just feels unnecessary and, if I'm honest, a bit disrespectful. The older ones haven't said anything or have been more diplomatic.

It's also made me wonder about the future. Am I being unreasonable to worry that, as DS gets older, they might try to influence him with those kinds of views? I obviously expect him to know and appreciate both sides of his heritage, but I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone trying to push very political or nationalistic opinions onto him.

We were due to sort an Argentinian passport for DS (already has British and Italian) but now I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing. Dh isn't bothered about the citizenship, it was mainly me who was driving it so he'd have more options when he's older.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I overthinking it? I just feel a bit shit and uncomfortable about the whole thing and that a stupid football match has brought out a very ugly side of people I considered family.

I don't really want to turn it into an issue as if these are personal posts meant for me, DH says its young family members being immature. I've muted everyone on social media for now for the foreseeable so I don't have to see anything else.

This is accurate. Their claim is based on the fact that the Spanish administration was in charge before 1833. Therefore when they kicked the Spanish out of their country and took over administration they should have taken over the faulklands too.

However since 1833 the British have administered the islands and the population want to be British thanks.

Clearly they're all a bit thick so I would just ignore it and continue to be good parents.

Yeah, cos Argentina isn't racist at all.

The Argentinians are widely loathed in South America due to their racism and arrogance.

A faction of England supporters certainly do

Yes, I'd not bother with the Argentine passport. Two passports is enough. Hopefully in a few weeks all this will blow over.

Not all Argentinians to be fair. In the same way not all British people are Reform supporters and not all Reform supporters are racist.
It does certainly seem to be something their football team struggles with however.and I suspect increased jingoism will make it worse since jingoism tends to.

Yes people do. It is utterly pathetic.

Tbh whenever the economic situation in Argentina goes sideways, or whenever their govt need a distraction they start blethering on about las Malvinas.

When FIFA gift them the WC on Saturday they'll pipe down.

@SpottyPyjama "To be fair, the Falklamds should be Argentinian. We can’t expect recent history to be completely ignored just because the reality of British colonialism makes some people uncomfortable."

Unfortunately you need to do a bit more homework on the history of the Falklands. In any event, under international law none less than the United Nations upholds the islanders' right to self-determination. You might find it rather ironic that Argentina's claim is itself very, very loosely based on old colonialism. In fact the country's own expansion is based on the subjugation, displacement, murder and marginalisation of other peoples. Anyway, perhaps you'd like to explain to the Falkland islanders why they should be ruled by a government that arrests its citizens without reason or due process, tortures prisoners, controls women's reproductive rights, has one of the highest rates of femicide in the world and generally has an appalling human rights record.

Could you remind me which part of Argentina the British invaded or which part of Argentina they took?

Obviously not all, but there is a lot of history of racism from Argentinians towards people in other South American countries based on Argentinians considering themselves to be "whiter".

Ironically, the reason the Argentinians are generally whiter than the rest of the continent is because they killed many of the original inhabitants, and later had a policy called "blanqueamiento" (basically deliberately "whitening" the population of the country). It's interesting to read about, albeit in a fairly disturbing way.

And an absolutely shit economy. Probably one of the worst in South America.

I wish the Argentinans were banned for the constant harping on about the Falklands. They are British and the inhabitants are British.

Yeah you're talking absolute guff 😂 they had a whole referendum not that long ago and voted to remain British.

So if anyone is pushing a colonial agenda here it's Argentina.

To be even fairer - the Falklands belong to the Falkland islanders. They are not livestock or pets to be given to another owner. They, and only they should choose who governs them.

as far as I know, the last referendum was very solidly in favour of remaining part of the UK.

I think if the Falklands people voted to leave the UK, it would be recognised. Do you think Argentina would do the same?

If your DH isn't bothered and you're uncomfortable, why apply? Your son can always apply for citizenship when he's an adult if he wishes to.

As always the strongest argument against white supremacism is white supremacists.

Totally get what you mean about the history. And clearly there is a cultural issue. It's a fun mix of racism and an inferiority complex.

I'm just trying to avoid generalising as it's so easy now (see also how Trumps ruined Americas reputation but there are still nice Americans.) and I'm very aware people could do the same to the English/British. But I had people argue with me that its not fair to smear the Argentinian football team for being racist when it was literally people on the team caught making racist chants. Especially because OPs husband's family are Argentinian and presumably (hopefully) not themselves racists, just weird about the Falklands.

Just remind them that the only thing faster than the Argie comeback were their soldiers running away from the British army.

Point out that the people who lives on those islands want British rule and ask exactly what benefit Argentina would get from talking over the islands...none but a military dictatorship which killed 100,000+ Argentinians wanted to deflect the population

If that's how they think... perhaps you need to question the contract your child has

Not surprising. It is a deeply racist society and not only did they welcome Nazis during WW2 but they very happily collaborated with the regime. It renders the idea of British colonialism and the Falklands quite risible really.

I think the most important thing is that your DH is on board with you and not trying to push any sort of anti-English rhetoric onto the DC.

Football has always generated provocative and inflammatory chanting in the name of 'banter' - some of it a bit on the edge but witty and clever and some of it just offensive, but for the most part, it's all done and dusted once the whistle has blown.

What matters is that your DH understands your potential worry that wider family may try to casually instill Argentinian patriotism into the DC (fine) but at the cost of discrediting their English side (not fine).

As long as you are both on board and aligned on this, I wouldn't worry too much. Wider family will have little impact if their dad is standing firm.

Argentina has a pretty dark history generally. People who look on the Falklands war as the plucky Argentinians bravely fighting against the evil British colonialists really should do a bit of research into what the regime in power in Argentina at the time was like. Here's a wikipedia page that gives a bit of background:
Dirty War - Wikipedia

Re the whole Malvinas thing, it's pretty much a running joke that it is used to distract from Argentina's economic failures.

Many other Argentinians are following your DH's route and using their Italian roots to gain an EU passport in order to leave. Radio 4 had an item on it last weekend. Even Messi moved to Spain at 13 to further his career.
Not sure what opportunities having a Argentinian passport brings. I think you should be assured that DS lives with you a long way from the country. So any influence should be manageable with your DH's support.

Get over it, everyone hates England

Thanks for the link. Just read an article about Argentine conscripts during Falklands war on BBC website. It was during the time of the dictatorship. They were treated hideously by their senior officers and the author said when he was captured by the British, he felt 'liberated'.

Not everything is black and white.

Exactly.