AIBU to feel guilty after matching my husband’s birthday present budget?

[Iliveforglitter]

Me and DH have birthdays a few days apart, I had my 30th and he had his 33rd last week.

I got him a new travel mug, his broke a few weeks ago and he has never left for work without a cup of coffee in hand so he’s been taking an actual mug in the car. I also got him some clothes for our upcoming holiday as he’s not got many shorts.

The night of his birthday he told me he thought is brought him a new game that he wanted, the game is £80.

it did cross my mind a while back, so I feel a bit guilty now.. but I specifically didn’t spend that much because he brought me an £15 throw (one I had looked at to go in our lounge) for my 30th. he asked me for ideas ages ago, he spoke about potentially organising a trip to Florence for a weekend. and I’ve been directly saying “if you want an idea for my birthday I would love a..”

So I just feel I was trying to be equal, but now I feel guilty that he’s disappointed.. AIBU and should I just buy the game? 😫

There’s definitely an imbalance here. How is he able to make that request when he knows what he bought you for yours. It’s baffling.
what’s the reason for this?

A throw for the lounge as well! Hardly a present for herself!!

Agree!!

We take each other for a trip away for big birthdays. He took me / organised a trip to Croatia for my 30th and I took him / organised a trip to Malta for his! Definitely lovely memories

I would have smothered him with the throw and buried him in it under the patio.

Mate you got a £15 throw for the house on your 30th birthday ?!! That’s grim

Clearly you have married down.
Do not share finances and NEVER entertain giving up work and having children.
You might survive then.

He's a very mean man.
You have made a huge mistake.

It's really sad that you cannot see this and feel guilt over his birthday.

He couldn't care less about your birthday and this is your miserable future.

Wake up before you waste years on him.

She clearly has low self esteem, so yes OP should be supported in increasing her self esteem and self worth.
He knew a £15 throw for the living room was not a gift for her. And he absolutely knows it’s outrageous to be upset he didn’t get the much pricier gift after what he did on a milestone gift, at least he got gifts to him. It’s not that he missed a hint. None of that is rocket science, it’s obvious he’s not a nice person, and OP doesn’t have to take being treated like this.
My views don’t change based on if it’s a man or woman playing video games or playing with toys. Regardless of price of said toys or whether they’re geared for adults who play with toys. There’s a market for them so they exist. There’s a market for expensive reborn babies for adults to play with baby dolls, so they exist. All sorts of things out there….
I’m not attracted to women, but like most, I don’t think it’s an attractive quality in either sex. Not everyone feels that way. It won’t give everyone the ick, especially if adult partner is also into gaming and toys. If you feel differently, you do you, it’s not hurting anyone.

🤣 💀

I think you should spend some time thinking about why it is that you feel guilty instead of furious right now.

You are adults. Buy your own presents lol. That way you both get what you want. Is it not coming from a joint account anyway?

Now-DH and I had been on 2 dates before I turned 30. On my 30th he took me out for dinner and spent a surprising wodge of money on something romantic he thought I would really enjoy (he was right). He barely knew me and he made more effort than your husband.

He's quite the princess, isn't he. Cheeky bastard.

Keep on matching his effort until you find your self-worth, then move on.

He ain't it, sorry OP.

I'm 77 years old and speaking as an ageing aunt/granny I'd be bloody insulted if someone bought me a throw for my birthday. Not that I'd want something better or more expensive, I'm perfectly happy with a £15 present, or nothing at all tbh.

But a throw just conjures up an image of a feeble old lady.

Giving one to your 30 year old wife, just smacks of a complete lack of interest in what she might actual like; unless of course your 30 year old wife is really into throws; highly unlike I would have thought.

That is a fair point and I apologise. I am definitely closer to your age than the OP's and I hate when people go suggest hand cream and scarfs for anyone over 55.

I love a cosy throw & have given a luxurious one as a gift. But in the full knowledge that it's what the recipient wanted.

I was joking tbh😁 but yeah I hate old lady gifts like hand cream, although a really lovely scarf can be good. Slippers are a definite no-no.

For the love of god, please don’t.

I’m far from a princess ffs 🤣🤣 it’s been my bucket list trip forever, I never ask for anything, always giving and getting for others and putting myself last and he wanted to show how much he appreciates me. The bills were paid, it was money saved as extra by him 🤷🏼‍♀️ so why on earth would you be furious? You’re a long time dead so why not have amazing experiences while you can…

Experiences over material things ALWAYS! I love this, we always do city breaks for each other for birthdays/ Christmas over “things” and we have amazing memories and stories we still talk about all the time from them, it’s the best ❤️

Oh I would love anything retro and Nintendo! I loved my Nintendo DS SO much 🤣🤣 giving is his love language 🤣 I really do leave myself bottom of the pile and give ALOT of myself to others so he just wanted to show appreciation for me on a milestone birthday and I will truly never forget my 30th I have so many incredible memories ❤️

Retro? GameCube was new when I turned 30 😂😂😂

Oh I’ve just looked online and when you said gamecube my brain went to the old school and thought you were referring to the classic mini console 🤣🤦‍♀️

Dont you dare get him that game! CF of him to even mention it after his gift to you!

‘Dh I’m really confused you thought I’d get you that game. Have you booked a trip to Florence as a surprise for my birthday and the throw was a holding present? Is that it? <pause> Otherwise I just don’t get it- why do you think I should pour more energy and money into your 33rd than you can be bothered doing for my 30th?’