AIBU to feel guilty after matching my husband’s birthday present budget?

[Iliveforglitter]

Me and DH have birthdays a few days apart, I had my 30th and he had his 33rd last week.

I got him a new travel mug, his broke a few weeks ago and he has never left for work without a cup of coffee in hand so he’s been taking an actual mug in the car. I also got him some clothes for our upcoming holiday as he’s not got many shorts.

The night of his birthday he told me he thought is brought him a new game that he wanted, the game is £80.

it did cross my mind a while back, so I feel a bit guilty now.. but I specifically didn’t spend that much because he brought me an £15 throw (one I had looked at to go in our lounge) for my 30th. he asked me for ideas ages ago, he spoke about potentially organising a trip to Florence for a weekend. and I’ve been directly saying “if you want an idea for my birthday I would love a..”

So I just feel I was trying to be equal, but now I feel guilty that he’s disappointed.. AIBU and should I just buy the game? 😫

You can feel whatever you want but remember feelings aren’t facts , just because you feel guilty doesn’t mean you are. You are creating that feeling. I’d spend the £80 on a therapy session to work out why.

Yes - match his energy.

Did you spell it out to him why he didn't get the game?

Good enough for him. He might think more clearly next year.

Sorry voted incorrectly as I think you ABVU to even consider buying him the game, but I think you meant vote AIBU if people think you should have bought the game!

He bought you a bloody throw for your 30th and then throws a strop that you didn't buy him a game? I'd throw him out.

This!!!
Please don’t be guilt tripped!!

Bloody hell that's too much, there is a middle ground between a £15 throw and this!

I got a Nintendo GameCube! (showing my age)

I was thinking the same thing
how selfish!

Buying you a £15 quid throw for the living room
as your 30th birthday present is fucking diabolical.
and then for him to hint he wants you to buy him an expensive game for his birthday?! Ugh. He is giving me the ick

I voted YABU for feeling guilty!! I’m really cross on your behalf, tell him he’s got a brass neck

I really don't get how anyone could be actually married to a person and not have the levels of basic communication to deal with things like this.

All you needed to say is 'Yeah, I did think about getting you the game but then you ignored all of my suggestions for my MILESTONE birthday and gave me a fifteen quid blanket so naaah'.

Maybe then an adult conversation would have ensued in which he realised he's not exactly deserving of his game right now.

You met him with his own energy and the fact that he is too thick to even realise it means you need to speak up for yourself, OP!

‘I’ve already bought your presents and they’re not the game. Soz’

im just gonna leave this here! Just saw it on Instagram and reminded me of the £15 throw gift for 30th!!

This is why my OH and I do not do birthday presents!

However, we do share a bank account so it becomes irrelevant what we spend as really we are paying for our own presents 😂.

Wo do buy each other we things now and againtho

He bought you a £15 throw for a milestone birthday (which is something everyone will enjoy) ? Gosh. That's right up there with a food blender or vacuum cleaner for a present.

And then he sulked on his birthday evening that he didn't get an £80 game from you?

Remind us all why you feel guilty? Because he threw a tantrum?

I was going to say, a £15 throw? For your 30th?! But I can see it's already been said...

Don’t feel one second of guilt and don’t you dare buy him that game!

Well, you didn't hit the jackpot with this one did you @Iliveforglitter? A throw for your thirtieth - he really put some effort in there eh? 😬🙄

It seems quite petty to try and match his gifts financially. Maybe the guilt you feel is around that? You may have felt better just buying him what you wanted to buy him and being honest with him that you expect more from him on your birthday.

Remind him about your 30th birthday present say "Because you only bought me a £15 throw for my 30th I thought you would expecting similar"

I’d have been tempted to have given him a £15 voucher towards his game and none of the other stuff

i was hoping for an update to this, has the OP not been back?

What did you say to him when he said this?

That was my thought too

I think you should engineer a low key discussion on this... or you are in for years of grief on the subject.
Let him know what your expectations are in general and what are his.

Explain to him that you go out of your way to make family members feel special on birthdays and Christmas and you put a lot of thought into it. It hurts when that is not reciprocated. It is also something you do to set a good example to the children.

The £15 quid throw for the house sofa, is a joke, a house present not a you present. Reminds me of the year I got engaged and my MIL bought me an ironing board and some old lady slippers.

I've had to have this talk because of the many years I said. Please Please do not buy me creams/ungents. Ever again. (Its always the wrong skin type)..
Ive also had to say no surprises because he thought it was great to keep birthday secret, whilst I thought nothing at all was planned (he had form for this previously)

Whilst its a pain to do this , and I feel it makes me "High Maintenance" - to which I reply.. "yes, High Maintenance twice a year, it could be a lot worse!" it has worked and also the DC are good at siblings birthdays now and good at telling us in advance what they want.

Not like a 30th!!!

Get him the box only.

Frame it.