AIBU to think DH overreacted to a bedtime joke?

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DH was out this evening at a meeting. I let the children stay up late - 15 mins past their bedtime watching a film. Let’s face it, we’re so close to the end of term, they are early secondary school and are very good kids tbh so it didn’t feel like a biggie (to me).

When DH arrived home, I thought it would be funny for them to comically scamper upstairs (in full view), then come down again pretending he had woken them up (with OTT yawning). It was very clearly lighthearted. It was entirely my idea.

DH did not find it funny AT ALL and berated the children. I held my hands up (literally, immediately) and said I was sorry, it was all my idea: I had encouraged them and thought it would make him laugh …but he was still exceptionally pissed off and continued to tell them off. Both children went to bed pretty upset.

Wtaf? Hand on heart, I kept saying it was my fault and he mustn’t blame the kids. He is enraged with all of us. I am so confused.

Are you trying to be clever because there is a very obvious typo (which has no effect on the meaning) or do you not know who Enid Blyton is?

Uh oh.........

This OP.
He'd had a long day, and the last thing he'd want to see coming home at that hour was the kids not only up after their bedtime, but messing around.

You sound a bit unhinged.

Possibly:
l
Long, hot day. Gets home, the kids take the piss out of him. Then you join in and take more piss out of him.

But 9.00 bedtime for secondary school kids? Really?

Because there are a lot of humourless/judgemental/vindictive// suck the joy out of any situation arseholes on here.

This is such baffling behaviour from him.

Do I think this is a funny joke? No not really. But it's totally the silly sort of thing people do in families to raise a smile? The point isn't whether your or anyone else thinks it's funny, but whether or not their dad was massively overreacting to it. Which he was.

I wouldn’t find it funny at all as I don’t get the joke and sometimes I’m exhausted by the day that the last thing I want to do is have a prank played on me.

He was expecting the kids to be in bed and he could come in and relax straight away.
Being accused of being woken up would annoy me.

However, he completely overreacted!!
There was no need to shout at them even after you explained it was a joke.

I hope he apologised to them and explained that he was just tired and teazy.

So he was well regulated. If he was on edge and ready to blow, as he clearly was as such a small thing set him off, then that’s what he could have done. It’s his job as a parent to self regulate. Not use his kids as an emotional punch bag.

He’s a miserable twat

DD is 15 and hasnt really had a bed time since starting seniors because she self regulates really well. It is a very rare night that she isnt asleep by 9.

Secondary kids go to bed at 9pm ?

As someone who once had a controlling partner I noticed at once the word enraged in your post which speaks volumes. Horrible behaviour. I’m sure you’ve had it before, hence the post, he is making you feel it’s you, but it definitely isn’t.

He needs to apologize to his children. If he doesn't, you have a real problem because you are 100% responsible, as is he, for the health, welfare and safety of your children. You failed your children as a parent.

There is zero excuse for him when he flies off the handle and makes his children his target. It's parental abuse. Period.

Sit him down and have "meet his maker" talk. Draw the line, if this happens again here are some possible repercussions. It was inexcusable. Make the penalties real. Explain to him that his behavior was fully abusive.

You need to find an organized group of other women to talk about his explosive anger before he gets worse.

Does he have a bee in his bonnet about people laughing at him?

I had an ex who would get really enraged if he perceived he was the butt of a joke - couldn't take it at all (a most unattractive quality).

Does he feel like you and the kids ganged up to mock him? Not suggesting that you did but some people do seem to operate on a hair trigger.

If he is like that, how do you normally deal with it between you? Do you have to walk on eggshells - although it doesn't sound like it. If you do, that's not a nice way to live.

WTF?

Some people will try to insinuate something sinister about the most wholesome situation.

Whats wrong with messing about and having a laugh with your kids? Its called being silly and its fun and joyous and builds bonds and creates memories.

If OP regularly encourages the kids to play 'jokes' that dad finds annoying, that would be something else but it doesn't sound like that's the case - she's surprised that he didn't find it funny because he normally does.

Or maybe there are two sides to a story?

Unless he had something exceptionally important that he had to talk to you about such as he’s being made redundant he had. no excuse to be such a miserable old fart; I’d take the kids out for the evening as a treat to make it up to them cinema; ice skating (gosh that’s tan idea for all of us) anywhere & leave him a ready meal for being such an arse

Only that morning DH and the kids ‘hid’ when I came downstairs. One with a tea towel on their head, the other hiding behind a plate. That sort of thing.
Meeting wasn’t a work meeting. DH never works late. The kids are good kids. DH was just in a foul mood. Fun sponge indeed!

wtf I'd be off to Dunkin by myself and wonder where I went wrong that I was raising a couple of Arthur Dents and living in a Fellini movie minus Marcello Mastroianni.😑

@outerspacepotato Thank you for making me laugh so much!

But his kids shouldve been in bed. How was he to KNOW they were up.

And I can understand him being pissed off ( ok no need to blow his top). Hence the reason mine were taught from a very young age ( maybe 5) that not to hassle me until I've had a cup of tea after work.

This totally sounds like the kind of thing that I would do with my children and my partner would find it as funny as me. I think your DH has totally overreacted and sounds like an absolute fun hoover!

She can't do that unless back for bedtime

If he's that on edge he should be self regulating so he doesn't blow up at his wife either. Getting yourself to a place where you are fit to be around other people doesn't require foreknowledge of exactly who is going to be there.

OP stated:
Wtaf? Hand on heart, I kept saying it was my fault and he mustn’t blame the kids. He is enraged with all of us. I am so confused.

Two things.
Why aren't you incandescent with rage at him. How dare he take it out on his children who are blameless, and of course how dare he be such a killjoy with yourself.

Also: I'm one of the few on MN who think that it was a great joke, childish yes, but that's what children enjoy. I got the whole concept. I cannot understand what's not to get.