Equal bill splitting annoyance

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Just after some balanced opinions.

Context is that 4 of us old work colleagues meet for dinner 2 or 3 times a year.

We always split the bill equally between us.

Last time we met last week it was noticeable that 2 of us including me ordered a drink at the bar when we arrived and then paid for it ourselves and then found our table and didn't drink any more.

Other 2 ordered all drinks at the table to go on the group tab and had 4 or 5 alcoholic drinks.

I had a main at 15 quid, others ordered mains all about 20 to 22 each, no issue there.

However the bill came to just over 160 plus tip and we all paid about 45 each, it really struck home that 2 of us are massively subsidising the others 2 alcohol !

Don't want to spoil the atmosphere but equally it's irritating !

No one skint , all working

What is a pleasant way to put a stop to this ?! Without being mean or penny pinching

I have. I have included my thoughts on both.
I’d still choose to pay for my own before cutting out a friend. Especially as it’s a friendship group.

Please let us know what they reply!

I never understand this. If I go for a meal and we're all eating and drinking the same then splitting the bill equally is fine. If I'm going out with known CFs who order expensive three courses and bottles of wine while I'm having a main course and a diet coke (I usually drive) then I just put down 20 quid which covers it and includes a tip.

I have certain friends who've tried to pull this shit in the past, there's no way in hell I'm subsidising their greedy fuckery.

Wrong.

How about you just take cash?

Then when the bill comes over, you say 'oh my card isn't working, that's all I have in cash'.

That way. If you do pay over, it's not going be £30 over

In my group of friends there is always one non drinker and we never let them pay an equal split and subsidise the rest of us. It’s even been me once and only once. If they are your friends they will get it just say before the meal I’m not drinking so can we divide the bill to reflect that.

its unfair and annoying but you meet a few times a year. I would just let it go and start ordering dessert 😂

If everyone ordered a salad, or a small single course, and a glass of tap water you would be in and out of the restaurant in less than 30 minutes. I feel like people who do this are taking advantage of other people's willingness to spend to get a good night out on the cheap. I think if you are willing to be enjoying yourself at the table, chatting and laughing, you should be paying your way to be there.

We split the bill with some people, when they have similar eating and drink habits. Some others, who drink a lot, we don't. We had to do this with one set of friends who would order 2 or 3 bottles of wine. I rarely drink (and not wine), and my DH does the driving. It caused a few huffs, but they understood why.

But equally rude of the others not to offer.

My last night out, my friend totted up her alcohol bill (£35 over the rest of us) before splitting the rest. We wouldn’t have been worried but great that she did.

I'd hate to be your friend!

So to enjoy your company, I need to stump up for your steak and 3 bottles of wine?? I'd need to like someone a great deal to do this. Which I wouldn't if they were that grabby.

theres being generous now and then, and being continuously taken advantage of... friends aren't personal ATMs!

It's really gauche of your drinker friends not to notice this. I always drink at dinner but am highly aware of those that don't and will make a big deal of not allowing them to split the bill evenly. I'd die if I left a restaurant not having paid my fair share or more.

Each person pays their own bill - simple.
Waiting staff should be able to cope with this.

I will never understand “splitting the bill”.

just pay for what you ordered. I’m not paying for someone else’s meal and alcohol unless it’s for planned and for a birthday or something.

think it’s just really rude to assume!

When the cheeky pair order drinks at the table why not tell the waiter to open a second tab for those drinks?? Be polite, be assertive and smile when you say it.

I bet you are the person ordering loads and not paying your fair share

Found the cheeky fucker.

In these situations as soon as the bill hits the table I always say does anyone mind if I take mine off & will add service charge (I.e only pay for what I’ve had) sometimes I’ll say because I’m on a budget - no one has ever had an issue with it. I think it’s because I’m quite happy to split most of the time!

Make it clear at the beginning you’ll only be paying for what you’ve had. It’s annoying when you pay way more when others have been drinking and you haven’t, food not so worried about as most things are roughly the same price. Just make note how much your dish and drink is and tell it straight.

Oh, it looks like the OP's friends have got themselves a Mumsnet login...😆

you have the right to state at the beginning that you wish to pay for your own food and drink, and then just shut up about it. It’s not a debate. They may think you are judgemental about their drinking, and maybe you are, but do it your way and let them do it theirs.

Id argue she wasnt penny pinching but they were entitled.

Just all put cash in to cover your own food and drink, and a bit over for a tip.