Dh has announced his retirement date and I feel irritated by it

[PerfectTiming1]

DH has been talking about retiring for a few years. He has just told me when he would like to finish work and it coincides with our youngest starting secondary.
I feel a bit irritated by this timing. I was a sahm to our DC until youngest started school. I got a job that allowed flexibility and I did all school admin. Concerts. Assemblies. Sports Days etc.
It just feels a bit… convenient. Like he has waited until the DC need (significantly) less support to then be available. AIBU?

I think if he retires and you are still working then you need to discuss before he retires which housework jobs he will do. My husband retired before me. We discussed it and agreed it was fine as long as he then planned shopped for and prepared all the evening meals. He found this ridiculously stressful mainly the meal planning and ended up with a weekly planner but got better at it and did it. You seem to resent him enjoying himself. It sounds as though you need to look at dividing the childcare and housework more evenly but that means accepting he will do things differently.

How lovely that you were in a fortunate position to be a SAHM and enjoy all the nurturing and priceless experiences that went with that.

And husband is fortunate that he can retire and spend all the time and enjoy the priceless experiences with their teens. But oddly that was not his plan, he plans to take up hobbies and spend time on himself biking and golfing..

So you were a SAHM meaning you supported your husband while he was working full time. You were there for both. Why did you found your SAHM ? Are you a team or not? I've been SAHM till the youngest started year 1(7 years old) and even then chose to work at a school as TA part time even though i have a master degree as social worker. But my husband always provided for all of us . Because we chose 1 parent needed to be with the children while the other worked extra for both of them . You are not a team by the sounds of it. Yes I know everything about their school activities and I can always take the day of if they are sick but that's my part of the teamwork. My husband's is for the mortgage to be paid in time. I've been in holidays ,dinners, days out all paid by my husband. Even now I'm working part time that money is not mine, its ours if we need it we spend it ,if not needed we save it. WE = my husband and I

Seeing it from both sides OP.
If he can retire, then why not.
I think maybe it is a bit off that he didn't discuss dates etc with you, so you could have your say. Maybe you are a bit envious that as a mum you can't just down tools when you feel like it.
The thing is, if the kids always call you first, i doubt your husband being retired will make any difference other than you can ask him to be available on certain days and times to help out and any new hobbies are worked around that. I know a few guys who retired early, got bored after a while and took a part time easy job. Maybe just see how it all plays out.

@TheKitchenLady I took from the OP's posts that it's not about whether she enjoyed being a SAHM, but more why isn't he taking the baton to be a SAHD? It feels quite one-sided.

How do we know it was her choice rather than societal expectations because that’s what a woman’s role is? I was never a SAHM but recognise how hard that is - never any break which at least work gives you!

It would be the obvious course IF you were BOTH still working. However, that won't be the case, so he's got to be told, upfront and in no uncertain terms, that as the tables are now turned, and you're working whilst he's at home, the majority of the child admin is now HIS responsibility. And don't back down! The only way to not be a doormat and let him walk all over you is to NOT BE A DOORMAT! Grow a backbone and tell him straight. If you don't, you'll simply continue to do all the stuff you did before, whilst you constantly simmer with resentment, before you either explode or come to despise him. Neither of which are good ends to a marriage....