AIBU to feel angry about my husband's £1000 a month car?

[Tunaturner]

My husband has bought a car that costs £1000 a month. He does earn a lot more and drives a lot so I get he wants to be comfortable. But I think cars are a waste of money.
I don’t know why I feel so angry.

We have our own money and pay half the bills,
but to me the money would be better spent on other things.
if I just met him on a date and he said he has a car that was £1000 month I wouldn’t see him again as it’s distasteful.
am I being irrational? I feel controlling saying he shouldn’t be spending that much.

Can he afford it?

he sees spending money on a New bathroom as a waste. But the whole family can use that.

Batshit crazy. Is it insecurity? What car is it. Is he buying it or is it just a lease?

Thats insane if that means it takes all his money that effects you as no more holidays or date nights or anything fun.

Seems he can, he’s not daft with money he wouldn’t get himself in debt.
but he goes on about the cost of filling a hot tub, or a punnet of strawberries!
either we’re well off or we’re not.

Yes when he’s home that’s what I’m going to say. If it doesn’t affect me in any way (ie we can still go away, he doesn’t complain about the cost of the hot tub!!, go out for meals) then it doesn’t affect me. But if I am affected in any way then I’ll be so cross

Depends if he has a very high pressure responsible job with salary to match

So he's tight with money unless he's treating himself?

Is he normally selfish or is this out of character?

Yes he does.

I'm a very old person and don't understand this 'my money', 'his money', within a marriage.
Therefore, I don't understand large purchases not being discussed.
Regards, a Dinosaur
Edited for a mistake 🙄

Did the 2 of you not talk about this before it was purchased/ lease signed?

But he is in debt if it’s costing him £1000 a month.

Yeah the more I realise it’s fine if he’s spending money on himself, otherwise he’s tight. Getting fed up with it now.
its the whole Instagram, showey culture that I despise. I have a nice car but one that I bought out right and paid off a loan within the year. So now I have no car payments. It’s such a waste all that money on a piece of metal.

Not if it's a lease.

Haaa yeah, I get you, my parents were the same.
however, we both have children by other people so keep things separate (other than the huge deposit I put into the house which I have legally secured)

I’ve had one of these, desperate status chaser and money waster.

that said, my car does cost £1k, although its salary sacrifice and a car allowence pays half of it. But it’s not massively unusual

I do 20,000 miles a year minimum so I do prioritise car spending to a certain extent as I need to be comfortable and confident in what I’m driving but £1000 a month is bonkers - you could have another mortgage for that and earn money from a rental property!
I also do low key judge people who drive around in fancy cars and live in run down properties

No it’s his money and my money.
But I feel this large purchase should have been discussed!!

If you have your own money and just pay bills together then presumably that’s what you agreed to and if it’s coming out of his money he can spend it on what he likes.

i may be biased as my ExH tried to control my spending.

Surely it’s relative to his income.

If he earns £2000 then it’s batshit. If he earns £10,000 a month then not so much.

So based on your posts this isn't about the car or the money he spends, it's about you feeling like you should have some kind of ownership or personal benefit of use of items he chooses to spend his money on. Sounds like jealousy and controlling behaviour to me.

Yes I guess a lease is debt, but can hand it back at any time. I just think lease cars are a waste of money. All just to show off to other people.
i think that’s what bothers me the most. Thinking now how different people we are.

Is it through work? I lease mine through work and the benefits make it worth while

Then you can say to each and every whinge.

"You spend a fucking grand a month on a car, so be quiet dear '

Absolutely agree big purchases should be discussed/ agreed.