AIBU to feel angry about my husband's £1000 a month car?

[Tunaturner]

My husband has bought a car that costs £1000 a month. He does earn a lot more and drives a lot so I get he wants to be comfortable. But I think cars are a waste of money.
I don’t know why I feel so angry.

We have our own money and pay half the bills,
but to me the money would be better spent on other things.
if I just met him on a date and he said he has a car that was £1000 month I wouldn’t see him again as it’s distasteful.
am I being irrational? I feel controlling saying he shouldn’t be spending that much.

Sounds like you need to unclench and enjoy some benefits of your 300k salary, like a new car.

I think you are being controlling if you have separate finances. It also sounds like you have gone off him though (not liking him going to the gym etc)?

As for the car, whether it is excessive depends on how it is financed. I have a “£1k per month car” but it is via salary sacrifice and includes insurance (including for my teenagers), servicing and all consumables like tyres. Works out about £500 per month all in, whereas just the insurance for two teens would otherwise be costing £340. I have also had £700 of new tyres this year out of that. Seems like a good deal to me.

Mumsnet generally doesn’t approve of spending money on cars. Holidays are fine however, as are many other things that are personal preference.

i like cars, I understand spending money on a nice car, it’s something I would prioritise over other things. That doesn’t make me (or him) somehow shallow

My DH and I were a blended family. We still had our money rather than his money and mine. Since you earn less, I suspect this division was his idea, precisely so he can do exactly what he is doing - spend loads on himself without running it past you first.
I think THAT'S the real reason you're angry about this. As you should be. Does he do this a lot?

If he/you earn more your bills should be proportionate!

I never understand the showy off culture thing its not as if having more money makes you a more worthy person or more worth respecting! so I do not see the point of buying stuff to show off. I buy things I like, can afford and give me personal pleasure, full stop. If it were my husband I would be very annoyed too😳

Sometimes people just buy nice things because they like them, not to show off.

its not always about other people

You wouldn’t see someone again because they chose to spend their own money on themselves? That is breathtakingly controlling, my god.

How do I get to earn 300k please?! 😂

If he's taking it from "his" money, that's his choice, if a man bought a car and wasn't paying the bills and feeding his kids, that's different. Some people think it's crazy to spend hundreds on hair/nails/botox etc.
Personally I'd do neither.

’let him’….? It’s his money. Yes you do sound controlling. Just because you don’t want to splash out on things like haircuts and cars it doesn’t mean he should have to do the same

Yes, I agree this could be a significant factor in how you feel about the car.

When did his concern over image/status start?

What car is it before I start judging !!

I'm on the fence. We have always had separate finances - married for 35 years.

When the house was paid for, when all the future school fees were accounted and the DC,.as children, had starter houses in Trust, DH brought home what I referred to as the wank mobile. It was very expensive, albeit two years old. He is now mid 60s and is being a bit more sensible.

It was his money, earnt by him and we had everything else we wanted. He wouldn't have done it if we'd needed a new bathroom. Therefore, although there was no consultation, I wasn't cross with him.

I like my cars and have a couple that would cost more than 1k a month if I leased them. I can afford it so it’s a non issue for me.

Who is he trying to impress?

So don't buy household items unless they need replacing (in which case you should both contribute) and buy yourself something you like or save your money.

What car costs £1000 a month?

Range Rover, Porsche, high level model BMW, Mercedes……..loads really.

These threads are always full of people driving 20 year old cars on massive salaries but it's not always a very good idea. Our 2013 car cost over £1k at the last service and MOT and if I put the reg numbers of my 2003 and 2007 cars into a checker they are both now scrapped. There is a happy medium.

£1k a month is a lot but someone has to buy or lease new cars for there to be some for the rest of us to get secondhand!

The annoying thing is you say you have a larger share in the house - however that’s not necessarily a good thing as he has benefitted enormously by paying less mortgage - I don’t think that is fair at all tbh!

I mean yes if you separated you would own a larger share but then even if you didn’t yes a high earner so you would probably have got more of a share iyswim

Maybe this is why he doesn’t want to invest in the house? Because he knows if he pays 20k for a new bathroom he’s only getting a percentage of the increase in value it would create?

Or is it the case that you ringfenced a figure ie £100,000 rather than a percentage?

Yer a long time dead.
As long as there’s money for the basics and essentials, crack on I say.

I was wondering the same thing!

Expensive cars are a waste of money, they all just get you from A to B.

Crikey, yeah I earn not that far off his salary and am busy umming and ahhing about whether to keep running my 14 year old Yaris or to splurge and buy a new (to me) car that's maybe 5-6 years old. My mind is boggled, but it's equally boggled by my friends who earn good salaries but complain regularly that they can't have as nice a life as they think they deserve while also spending £400 per month on a car.