What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

That made me really sad.

Proper bangin’ choons by the way 🎧

I once caught him trying to get money out of a piggy bank (the ones you have to smash), he was shaking it upside down then trying to get tweezers to catch the notes.

It was my sodding piggy bank. He could have asked me if I could lend him some money but he'd rather steal it from my piggy bank.

Or the time he told my flatmate that he helped me get my flat. Only she had come to see it with me, and was currently my housemate so knew I was buying it and he had nothing to do with it.

He once told the same flatmate that "if we have sex it just happens". We had been separated for 3 years, living in different towns for 2 years and i wouldn't go there if he was the last man on earth and I wasn't that desperate.

Men are such entitled twats sometimes.

He also (different DS) ‘forgot’ that he was supposed to collect DS for a few days in half term week. DS was 15 at the time and I remember him just sitting on his suitcase in the hall waiting. DS didn’t want me to call but eventually I did and Ex came the next day. I got over him leaving me years ago but I’ll never forgive him and I hate him for the way he’s treated the children.

Got a fuck of massive family tattoo the week after he walked out (he left suddenly without any prior discussion, and has never really said why!)

I'm another one who could write a book, but the one that jumps out as "wankiest" was him finding an excuse to be topless every time I had to go round to collect something. He was never the type to be topless around the house when we were together, but not for some reason he now rarely wore a top

I guess I was supposed to swoon and kick myself after realising what i was missing out on. Instead I'm impressed with myself for keeping a straight face while he stood there trying (badly) to act all casual about it!

😪 I dont understand how soneone can do that to children.

Nooooooooooooooooooooo! 😵

I appreciate that I am a lesbian (biased against naked blokes perhaps) but 😣

When he was cheating he gifted the OW a framed calligraphy copy of Seamus Heaney’s “Scaffolding” poem that I had chosen on our Wedding day.
He wasn’t particularly bright, but thought that because they worked in the Construction team, that it was romantic and painted him as clever.
When we split, I sent her a picture of the poem via text and stated that I had chosen it on our Wedding Day.
It was the only time I ever contacted her!! Nothing screams romance like recycling wedding poem!

Ha ha - @youlied I remember your thread about that. What a prize fanny he was / is.

(bear in mind this was late 1999) I was a new girlfriend of a few weeks only, so I didn't have the Ex Wifes number. I was brassic, I didn't drive; the house's land line had been cut off. I only had a decrepit pay-as-you-go Nokia with zero credit on it as I had lent him some money rather than top up my phone. It didn't occur to me, at the time, to call the police because it wasn't an emergency.

What makes this so much worse - when he did come back, he was entirely unapologetic. Lied about everything that happened, rewrote it in his head as a complete 'misunderstanding' and then got absolutely furious when I didn't accept his behaviour, explanation or his ' apology'.

At the time, it was so wild because we were still heavy in the honeymoon phase, and all my previous dealings with him had been him being an absolutely lovely, thoughtful, wonderful human being. But as they say, when they show you, they are belive them.

For real ?? .so glad that nany was safe with you

Mine got his kids names covered 🫣

You're amazing

pahahah oh god that wins

Everyday I think of something worse that he's done. 🤣🤣🤣 He's such a stupid twat 🫣

Is it Welsh?

Insisted he must have “the wedding cutlery” in the divorce because his aunt had bought it 18 years previously.

He literally took the cutlery out of the kitchen drawer leaving the kids with nothing to eat their tea with.

He contacted the DWP anonymously (but I knew it was him) to say I was claiming PIP fraudulently. Weeks of Hell before they dismissed it as vexatious. At the same time he also contacted my landlady to tell her I was a druggie and had moved a boyfriend in etc etc. She was so concerned ABOUT ME that she sent the police to do a welfare check to make sure he hadn't harmed me.

Later, after he had been warned by the police to keep out of the area where I lived and because he was blocked on all forums by me, he contacted my DD - who he KNEW was traumatised by sexual assault - to complain that he hadn't even been able to use her as wank fodder or fantasise about her while having sex with me because she was too fat - which she isn't but that's irrelevant - and told her to tell me he had images and video of me naked etc that he was going to put on the Internet .
(if he had such images he got them with hidden cameras or by photoshop). When the police called him to warn him revenge porn was illegal the officer was stunned by his response. Apparently, rather than denying he would ever do such a thing/say he didn't mean it etc. he said "Oh I didn't know it was illegal" The officer who told me this was a bit "WTF?" I wasn't even surprised.

My ex got with a woman 2 hours after we broke up (swore blind he hadn't been shagging her behind my back)

Plastered pictures all over fb,made one his profile picture and deleted me off facebook once he knew id seen them

Thing is-she was gorgeous,a real stunner

He looked like a pervy hobbit next to her

I saw them (in person) when they walked past me and dp in the street about 6 months later and they both looked miserable

She finished it and within a few days he had another woman on his fb-a carbon copy of the last picture with another stunning woman on his arm (apparently-a mutual friend told me this)

They broke up and he changed his pictures again-rinse and repeat for the last 11 years

And the best bit is,he keeps his ex wife (who he has two kids with) on his fb and is convinced shes jealous of his string of women and is gagging to have him back

I know her-shes just glad to be shot of him and we both pity all his other women

He's a sad sap who cannot be without a woman on his arm but thinks hes gorgeous (hes not) but does have enough charm to hook them in but not enough to keep them

His intitals aren't TR are they?

A Prince of Fathers eh!

My heart was broken by a very handsome Italian when I was 21. However this was someone who wore a vest in the evening in 32 degree heat because his mamma told him to.

I appreciate this pales in comparison to many MN stories but I had an ex who sat texting another woman while I was sitting next to him. Even in my 20s I though this was beyond the pale so I finished with him.

Unknown to me ex borrowed his mates car after being in the pub drinking all afternoon to go & buy the items for a roast dinner he had decided to cook me. He then managed to crash mates car into the back of a pregnant ladies car, drive off & dump the car down a country road so his mate could report it stolen as he was drunk & then turned up at my Dad's house (where I lived) with bags of grocery's & screaming at me as this was all obviously my fault!