What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

You are much better off without this horrible man in your life. What is wrong with him

Sent his 70 year old Mum round to shout at me and to try and buy one of my dogs from me, I mean seriously 😦

Yes my ex has a picture of the children he hasn't seen for nearly two years (his choice) as his Facebook 'banner' or whatever it's called. Pisses me off. Like pretty curtains up in a derelict house, pure window dressing. The kids are teenagers and don't want their image on his page, I think in these circumstances you can ask Facebook to tell him to remove them - using images of minors without their consent? Not sure.

'Splenda Daddy' is an industry term used by Sugar Babies. I like it 😆

I have told this before, but an ex of mine had a habit of seldom wearing any clothes in the house. Would often walk about wearing an (open) manky toweling grey dressing gown. Sometimes socks. Sometimes one sock. Whenever he sat down he'd take it off. (I am gay and he was the last man I was ever with, a long time ago) once told me, after I said I was leaving and would move out as soon as possible, that I would never do better "As when it comes down to it there is no better". He said this with a very serious look on his face, absolutely meant it.

Only thing is, as he said it he got up from where he was sitting at his computer chair to walk across the room. He was naked, and there was a white plastic bag stuck to his arse. Or more accurately, stuck up his arse crack. I was very upset at the time, as this was my final 'I am leaving' after many times of going to and then him changing and improving and me caving in and staying with him, but I could not help but laugh, and also see that as just cementing the fact that leaving was absolutely the right thing to do! 😆

😆😆 what on earth was he on 😆

Ex from years ago telling his new girlfriend (literally started seeing her 2 weeks after I dumped him) that he had to come back to stay at our house as I wasn't coping with the dog / housework, very much painting himself as the poor put upon ex trying to be the bigger person when I had begged him for help. Cue her ranting about how lazy and incompetent I was etc etc.

Reader it wasn't 'our' house it was my house (in my sole name, paid for by me, we were never married he paid me rent and never built up a beneficial interest in the property). I was also 'coping' just fine with the dog (as I always had). I only know this because I let him in, supposedly so he could collect some of his stuff and he fell asleep on the sofa. I wouldn't usually stoop to snooping on someone's phone but he's been an abusive twat to me at times and knowledge is power and read the text exchange. Absolute prick

This paints an absolute picture 😂

There are some awful stories on here but some very entertaining ones too. It’s the best thread I have read in a long time.

Changed his name to Antonio because he thought it made him sound ‘enigmatic’. He’s from Carmarthen with zero Spanish ancestry.

Omg. Peak Wankmuppetry

I cannot even begin to imagine how I would respond if someone accused me of chewing the table! 😆

Did you tell her to come and fetch him?

When my ex left he took the family car with him (which I'd paid for), even though he also had a works vehicle.

We lived very rurally - six miles from the nearest bus stop - and I had a toddler at the time.

Ordered an "expresso".

"as he said it he got up from where he was sitting at his computer chair to walk across the room. He was naked, and there was a white plastic bag stuck to his arse. Or more accurately, stuck up his arse crack."

God if you weren't already lesbian this would definitely turn you 😂

Got in contact in 2026 (we dated in 2011) to ask if I'd like a threesome with him and a woman he'd recently dumped (who is 20 years my senior).

Shockingly, I wasn't interested.

Suggested I come along to look after the children in the evenings when he goes to his home country for a holiday because he can't cope with them all together and doesn't have them all together in this country. Despite the fact I have a non mol and haven't been face to face with him in over 2 years.

I worked with a bloke called Paul who called himself Paulo because he has a Greek grandmother. He was from the middle of Gloucester.

Haha no. You know one too!!

No indeed, I saw that poster's "lol" comment and I was horrified - such a nasty degrading thing to do. I experienced something similar with my ex but not as bad because it was pre mobile phones.

He drew a very nasty naked caricature of me on the dry wipe memo shopping list in the kitchen. It was a very fat woman and he had labelled it with "wobble" several times with added wiggly lines for effect. Our sons were 8 and 10 at the time. He had me so tied up in knots I was even worried to erase it at first in case he was annoyed, until I caught myself on and wiped it off.

It must be 30 years ago now but I have never forgotten the nastiness of it. We didn't divorce until a few years later. Had he done it now I would have taken a photo and shown it to our parents (they didn't realise what he was like at that stage).

Oooh yes, an ex I lived with. His exDW was going to have a third child with her new DH and wanted the cat gone so we agreed to have the cat as the kids theoretically loved her.

The kids lost interest in the cat and he said he didn't want her. I discovered some very unsavoury stuff about him and was leaving him. The kids said it would be a good idea if I took the cat but he said no and took her to the local RSPCA shelter the day after I left.

She was a funny little thing and had loads of special needs that only I pandered to. I hope whoever had her was kind to her.

He was a massive asshole in far worse ways though. He should be in jail in fact and yet he is quite popular in his home town. No-one knows what he is into though.

nicking 3 bags of coppers worth £1 each that I was planning to take to the coin drop off. Light fingered wanker got a kick out of outwitting me, in his head

There was an absolute arse of a man on Ex On The Beach who called himself Jacques when he was as French as Cornish pasty

nope. French.

I know a man who did exactly this. Just before xmas time. I wonder if its the same man? All very horrible. I really felt for the woman because he'd very clearly blamed her for what he was going to do...

I am trying to think when it was, it was at least 15 years ago if not longer.

To me, that's Mother Nature 'thinning the herd' in a manner of speaking. No great loss if there's one less controlling arsehole in the world.