AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

My mum once lost money. It was a few hundred pounds she had been given as a gift and was in an envelope. She had workmen in and she said she put it in her bedside drawer before they came. When she went to get it a few days later it was gone. She couldn't prove anyone had taken it so wrote it off.

I found it in a pocket of a bag she gave me five years later 😂

Strange things happen.

It’s not a business though, the assistant may be a casual labourer just hired by Bob for this

And having a scout in the windows of jewellers and pawn shops is good idea too, even just local ones.

Maybe not, but Bob may confront twatface and get it back. Unlikely, but you never know. It just means Bob will be on the lookout

I know but it won’t be anywhere near here, they come in every day from the nearest city 40 minutes away

You'd think that he would have put anything stolen in his voluminous pockets.

How do you know? Are you one of the workmen? Did you hide it for shits and giggles?

Can you take a wee trip there on Saturday?

I’d be like a dog with a bone 😂

@Marooney i left a ring on the windowsill when new recommended cleaners came over. It was a lady and a young man. The ring disappeared, i was panicked beyond anything so phoned my friend who had recommended. She phoned them, then they sent the young man over. He found it in minutes after id spent hours looking. Dubious i know but i just think no matter how nice someone is, temptation can take over.

Very sus. He doesn’t live locally to me, they’ve been coming in from the nearest city

LOL. I know because like many other tales of missing things, my envelope with £500 cash turned up underneath the cloth lining of the laundry basket. The house was torn apart by a team of searchers, £10 for the finder! Had workmen in too the week before, but I never suspected them, and I was correct not to. The youngest in the search party found it.

Unless you can absolutely prove they did it you don’t do anything

I think very few work men would steal as its their bread and butter. Not sure how you can even ask them and if you do confront them would thry admit it. Probably not. So what will you gain with no actual prood.
Years ago my husband was working at a house. The dad worked away. The mum was flirtatious and dolled up every day. He finished work Friday and went back on Monday. The mum opened the door with no make up and hubby asked if she was OK. She said no as one of the kids pads had gone missing. He asked her if she wanted her to help look for it but she didn't. He said it was very awkward.
She said the Dad had been home at the weekend and noticed it wasn't there and they had bother searched the house from top to bottom.
My hubby said he hoped they didn't think he had taken it and if they did think that he suggested she phoned the police.
He carried on with the job as it was his last day there when low and behold she found the iPad in one of the kids toy boxes. She said it was her husband who'd searched in that room and not her so he mustbe missed it.
He wonders if they were trying to dodge paying but he knew he hadn't done anything wrong so he suggested involving the police that they didn't want to do. He couldn't wait to get out of there!
So just be very careful before making accusations.
Oh and in the past our RING doorbell hasn't picked up all movements and I know thst when the police once asked us for some evidence.

You could ask Bob if either of them have knocked the box off the table - so you know to look. Then also mention that if not you’ll go through the camera footage. But if they could keep an eye out.

Gives opportunity for it to be “found”.

I am so sorry to hear this. Looking at that picture, it does look like he is concealing/holding on to something,

I did confront a sub-contractor working on my property years ago when an item went missing. I phoned him asking where an item was (sitting in the middle of a table when I left and missing when I returned). He said he had seen the item and had put it in a box (large) and put the box in a high cupboard and maybe I should ask the other tradesman present. Except the cupboard he said he had put it in, the box wouldn't have fit. I let him know this and asked him to 'double-check' and then he said, yes, he had accidentally put it in the back of the van and would return it.

In fact, I have only just thought of it now and I don't think he ever did return it!

Would need to see frames either side really. Zoom in and it could be a shadow or a video artifact. Look at the shirt at the wrist of that hand. That has what looks like a similar sharp line shadow. In fact, all the shadows are from the right there, so light source is to his left, Zoom in the photo, block the shadow above his index finger, and the shirt looks flat.

Yes, I can believe that! I have heard many tales like that from over the years.

A neighbour of mine fell out with her cousin not long ago, after her cousin and 12 year old son came to visit, and an envelope with £3000 went 'missing' from inside the bureau - that was unlocked obvs! They got the police in and the lad was questioned and interrogated. Only HE could have taken it, (apparently!) as he went upstairs where it was, and it was there when the cousin and her son got to the house, and gone when they left. My neighbour's husband put the money there a few days before and KNEW it was there!

Police couldn't charge the lad or do anything as they couldn't find any actual proof/evidence that he had taken the money.

The neighbour and her cousin had a major rift and fell out.

6 months later, she gave a little chest of drawers to an elderly neighbour after advertising it on her village Facebook page, and guess what the lady found jammed at the back of the drawers?

Yep! the envelope with the £3000 in it! It's now been years after it was found, the relationship never recovered with this neighbour and her cousin, as they believed the worst in their son even when he swore that he hadn't taken the money, and got the police on him! My neighbour and her husband both deny ever putting the envelope full of money into that chest of drawers, but ONE of them must have done it!

.

Claim on insurance. Who leaves a ring box lying around?

Obviously some workmen can and do steal, especially if it's someone hired as an assistant on a temporary basis and not someone with an established reputation in the local area. Workmen are only people, after all, and some people steal, even when there's a risk of being discovered.

I do hope your ring turns out just to have been put 'somewhere safe' and forgotten, but I wouldn't be shocked if it has been stolen. I hope you don't discover more things missing!

Hi, my engagement ring is missing. I just wondered if you had seen it - if you've seen it around it will save me going through all the video footage to see what happened to it which will be a bit of a pain. Could you ask * if he's seen it too please?

I would mention to Bob and the labourer that there’s been a burglary and you don’t know when it’s happened , (don’t mention the ring specifically) but say that you’re going to have to involve the police and for him to be aware in case any of his tools go missing, keeping him onside obviously and not directly accusing him or his labourer, but let’s see if the ring doesn’t somehow magically reappear in your house.

Yeah i will take a ring and flog it where its on full display in the pawnbrokers! And they are gonna know its me!! It would be a very stupid thing to do as most people have cameras in their houses now,

I have the video and he is definitely holding something, could have been a can of coke to cool himself down but they didn’t have a cooler so unlikely, can’t think of another reason why he’d have something under his shirt

Can you casually mention it in a have you seen my ring way?

How will that help though?