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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to suggest emailing Andy Burnham about access to women’s toilets?

245 replies

UnDeuxTwuh · 20/05/2026 13:24

Aibu to suggest you can email Andy Burnham if you are what he calls one of the “tiny, tiny, tiny number of people” who believe that men including “transgender women” should not be allowed to use women’s toilets.

[email protected]

Perhaps if he gets enough emails he’ll see he is not right.

OP posts:
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8
TheKeatingFive · 22/05/2026 15:09

Lassofnorth · 22/05/2026 14:36

How would you know that someone that looks like a woman isn’t a woman .Women’s changing rooms maybe but in a toilette?

I cannot think of a single 'transwoman' in the public eye who genuinely passes. Not one. Can you?

I mean when you see them moving /speaking, not on the basis of a carefully posed, heavily filtered photo.

TheKeatingFive · 22/05/2026 15:25

Francine84 · 20/05/2026 16:12

Yawnnnnnn. Why not concern yourself with something that actually matters? What harm have trans people ever done to you, or anyone? Give it a bloody rest and get a life.

You think women standing up for their rights is 'boring'. That sounds ... enlightened 🙄

ElenOfTheWays · 22/05/2026 15:55

Wearenotborg · 22/05/2026 14:43

Ok. Own up. Who sent the batshit signal out!?!

Wasn't me although I might have put 50p in the transactivist. Sorry

ElenOfTheWays · 22/05/2026 16:00

TheKeatingFive · 22/05/2026 15:09

I cannot think of a single 'transwoman' in the public eye who genuinely passes. Not one. Can you?

I mean when you see them moving /speaking, not on the basis of a carefully posed, heavily filtered photo.

None of them "pass" because men can't be women.

SwirlyGates · 22/05/2026 16:01

Back to the subject, emailing Andy Burnham to see if he has changed his mind, now that the guidance is out he would be very foolish to say anything other than that he will follow and implement the law. I'd be very surprised if he gives a personal opinion on it either way.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 22/05/2026 16:32

SwirlyGates · 22/05/2026 16:01

Back to the subject, emailing Andy Burnham to see if he has changed his mind, now that the guidance is out he would be very foolish to say anything other than that he will follow and implement the law. I'd be very surprised if he gives a personal opinion on it either way.

He’s clarified it apparently -

https://www.lbc.co.uk/article/live-and-let-live-burnham-clarifies-stance-on-single-sex-spaces-after-backlash-5HjdZYN_2/

'Live and let live' Burnham clarifies stance on single-sex spaces after backlash | LBC

The Greater Manchester Mayor said he thinks Britain needs to work on having conversations with compassion and without judgement

https://www.lbc.co.uk/article/live-and-let-live-burnham-clarifies-stance-on-single-sex-spaces-after-backlash-5HjdZYN_2/

ThePieceHall · 22/05/2026 16:39

Spade. Dig. Big hole. Ooh, look, we’re nearly at Australia.

ElenOfTheWays · 22/05/2026 16:45

Did he just out-Starmer Starmer? 😂
He had nothing to say and yet somehow made that nothing up into words. It's art thats what it is. Amazing!

Olgipolgi · 22/05/2026 17:29

Have emailed........

Olgipolgi · 22/05/2026 17:29

Have emailed......

Flunkit · 22/05/2026 18:48

Both sides , most marginalised , be kind

5128gap · 22/05/2026 20:00

Mt563 · 22/05/2026 12:45

Well there we go, any woman not sufficiently feminine enough can now be reasonably asked to prove her sex.

Link

it may be legitimate to ask individuals to provide confirmation that they are of the eligible sex by proportionate means. Evidence of such concern might include the individual’s physique or physical appearance, behaviour or concerns raised by other service users

Its not about looking 'feminine' it's about the natural characteristics of the face and body that enable people to identify our sex.
We all know these characteristics exist and that they enable us to tell who is a man and who is a woman with very high levels of accuracy.
I don't know why we have to go through this pantomime of pretending otherwise. If it wasn't the case, then why are trans people so often 'misgendered' and so concerned about passing? Why does FFS exist?
If a woman somehow looks, sounds and presents in such a way she could be mistaken for a man and couldn't rectify the error by speaking, she wouldn't be finding that out for the first time in the ladies toilet. She'd know and be prepared to offer evidence of some sort. Just like people who know they look very young carry ID around.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/05/2026 20:46

TheKeatingFive · 22/05/2026 15:09

I cannot think of a single 'transwoman' in the public eye who genuinely passes. Not one. Can you?

I mean when you see them moving /speaking, not on the basis of a carefully posed, heavily filtered photo.

Nope. Even Hunter Schafer who had puberty blockers is unmistakably male. I clocked him immediately in the hunger games before knowing who he was.

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 22/05/2026 22:20

Mt563 · 22/05/2026 13:56

The italics piece refers to service users having concerns about other service users based on physical appearance.

Evidence of such concern might include the individual’s physique or physical appearance,

So they don’t mention ‘feminine’ at all.

I think they are just trying to be polite and mean men who are trying to look like women.

MesonBoson · 26/05/2026 17:10

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/05/2026 20:46

Nope. Even Hunter Schafer who had puberty blockers is unmistakably male. I clocked him immediately in the hunger games before knowing who he was.

But if they were really good, you wouldn't be able to tell.

Maybe Carol Vordeman was born Colin.

TheKeatingFive · 26/05/2026 17:22

MesonBoson · 26/05/2026 17:10

But if they were really good, you wouldn't be able to tell.

Maybe Carol Vordeman was born Colin.

But what's the implication of this?

There are Transwomen in the public eye that literally no one knows about? Who do you think they are? And why wouldn't they reveal themselves in solidarity for the cause?

fantam · 26/05/2026 17:33

Self catheterisation for trans is the key. Do it yourself and you won't need to go to the loo at all. Sorted.

5128gap · 26/05/2026 17:48

TheKeatingFive · 26/05/2026 17:22

But what's the implication of this?

There are Transwomen in the public eye that literally no one knows about? Who do you think they are? And why wouldn't they reveal themselves in solidarity for the cause?

I think it might be that we should have a two tier system and that those who are 'really good' (as in young, genetically 'blessed' with shorter slighter build, and have plenty of money for surgery and cosmetic disguises) should be able to use women's facilities because they pass and so we will know no better.
Meanwhile the bricks get thrown under the bus and into the gents. Which all seems a bit transphobic to me.
Not sure what Carol Vordeman has to do with the price of fish mind. The poor women's getting it from all sides this week. Targeted by Reform's Rob (at least he knows what a woman is..tits and arse...) Kenyon, and accused of being a possible bloke. That's what comes of being a brainy older woman I suppose.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 26/05/2026 17:52

MesonBoson · 26/05/2026 17:10

But if they were really good, you wouldn't be able to tell.

Maybe Carol Vordeman was born Colin.

Hunter Schafer is their gold standard. He’s the one they point to as their best example of passing. He had puberty blockers and all the surgeries. All that money spent on him, way beyond the resources of an ordinary person,and yet he doesn’t pass.

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 27/05/2026 11:31

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 26/05/2026 17:52

Hunter Schafer is their gold standard. He’s the one they point to as their best example of passing. He had puberty blockers and all the surgeries. All that money spent on him, way beyond the resources of an ordinary person,and yet he doesn’t pass.

Edited

Yes, especially now poor old Kim Petras appears to be feeling the ill effects of years of abuse of hormones and prevention of puberty. He didn’t pass but now isn’t looking very well to add to his woes.

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