Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

630 replies

saminamama · 05/05/2026 19:06

a month ago today DH was told he may be made ‘redundant’, he was essentially sacked with a months notice and he signed a settlement agreement with enough money to keep us afloat for 2 months, after the end of this month.

It took him 2 weeks from finding out he was being made redundant to apply for his first role. Since then he hasn’t secured any interviews, and he’s had lots of ‘chats’ with so and so, but nothing material has happened.

I feel like he is way to slow when applying for jobs, and it’s not going quick enough and by now he should have a few interviews.

Posting as I’m really looking for a consensus as to if what I am feeling is valid, as I feel like I’m at the end of my tether. I darent ask him a question or distract him from anything as he takes so long to do.. anything.

im worried about our mortgage, I work but my salary only just covers the mortgage,

really lost and feeling resentful as it feels like he’s not pushing hard enough,

he’s a great dad and a loving husband most of the time.

looking for positive stories and advice as to how I get through this time.

im feeling so worried it’s affecting my sleep and I’ve been avoiding some of my friends, I don’t often feel in the mood to be around others who are sorted and settled when we are in this boat.

im carrying all the housework and childcare drop offs and pick ups so he has no excuse for not sitting and applying for roles, but feels quite futile to be honest, doing all the washing and cleaning.
if he is so slow and easily distracted/harassed and can’t cope no wonder he was sacked, awful thing to say but I’m wondering if it’s true

OP posts:
Abso · 14/07/2026 16:19

saminamama · 13/07/2026 18:23

Another no today after a second stage so that’s 4 now that he has been turned down for after 2nd stage, that’s it now, there are no more interviews booked in currently. It’s starting to get to him

I'm not surprised.

It's so disappointing.

The constant rejection is really bad for your mental health. It's also not necessarily a reflection on him, just a case of someone being better suited. Doesn't help though.

We're (well DH, though I'm really invested as well) are waiting on a formal offer letter after being given an informal offer on Friday. I don't understand what is taking so long!

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/07/2026 20:01

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 14/07/2026 12:27

I sounds like money needs to start coming into the home.

So, he needs to find something / anything what about an evening delivery driver job ? I know it won't bring in the required money but it would bring in some money i.e. £50 an evening twice would probably do the weekly food bill.

has anyone suggested you take in ironing - I've seen it suggested on MN before. One basket of ironing must be at least £25, 4 baskets would be £100 and yet again that's one weeks food shopping ?

Do you know a lot of people on the lookout for someone to give their ironing to? Not saying no one does ironing for cash but don’t think it’s an easy solution.

Apprentice26 · 14/07/2026 20:03

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/07/2026 20:01

Do you know a lot of people on the lookout for someone to give their ironing to? Not saying no one does ironing for cash but don’t think it’s an easy solution.

Yes and you’ve only got to find nine people that will give you four baskets of washing at £25 ago and then drive to it. Collect it. deliver it back and actually do the iron in and suddenly you can pay half the mortgage 🙈
I don’t know why anybody has a properly paying career any more when they’re such lucrative options available to them

Thechaseison71 · 14/07/2026 20:43

IkeaJesusChrist · 14/07/2026 15:58

Unless you're extremely frugal which I don't think OP is £100 is not one weeks shopping.

If you don't have much money then you have to be frugal

TheMimsy · 15/07/2026 09:44

@saminamama is he in a role where he could do some consulting work (self employed) or agency work? I don’t know many people that can’t?

when my partner was made redundant in his late 50s he did various types of consulting work and agency work - he’s an engineer by background and did some engineering work and also was asked to retrain as a teacher (whilst in a paid position and they covered cost) and now does assessing of students and external verifying of companies apprenticeships etc.

Think outside the box. Is a 9-5 the only way he can use his skills?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page