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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

558 replies

saminamama · 05/05/2026 19:06

a month ago today DH was told he may be made ‘redundant’, he was essentially sacked with a months notice and he signed a settlement agreement with enough money to keep us afloat for 2 months, after the end of this month.

It took him 2 weeks from finding out he was being made redundant to apply for his first role. Since then he hasn’t secured any interviews, and he’s had lots of ‘chats’ with so and so, but nothing material has happened.

I feel like he is way to slow when applying for jobs, and it’s not going quick enough and by now he should have a few interviews.

Posting as I’m really looking for a consensus as to if what I am feeling is valid, as I feel like I’m at the end of my tether. I darent ask him a question or distract him from anything as he takes so long to do.. anything.

im worried about our mortgage, I work but my salary only just covers the mortgage,

really lost and feeling resentful as it feels like he’s not pushing hard enough,

he’s a great dad and a loving husband most of the time.

looking for positive stories and advice as to how I get through this time.

im feeling so worried it’s affecting my sleep and I’ve been avoiding some of my friends, I don’t often feel in the mood to be around others who are sorted and settled when we are in this boat.

im carrying all the housework and childcare drop offs and pick ups so he has no excuse for not sitting and applying for roles, but feels quite futile to be honest, doing all the washing and cleaning.
if he is so slow and easily distracted/harassed and can’t cope no wonder he was sacked, awful thing to say but I’m wondering if it’s true

OP posts:
saminamama · Yesterday 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

OP posts:
Watdidusay · Yesterday 19:48

saminamama · Yesterday 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

What does this mean? Because I've heard a lot of cases where candidates got through final round only to be told funding for the role was not approved at all.

SunnyRedSnail · Yesterday 21:31

saminamama · Yesterday 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

That sounds like a "sorry you didn't get the job" call. Or the job isn't actually available.

He needs to up his searches!!

saminamama · Yesterday 21:40

No the funding is available they said it would be Monday he will hear, he just filled me in a bit more.
we are thinking maybe he has it, as the guy who called him spoke about how long is own experience was when he was hired and it can take a while

OP posts:
LiquoriceAllsorts2 · Yesterday 22:21

SunnyRedSnail · Yesterday 21:31

That sounds like a "sorry you didn't get the job" call. Or the job isn't actually available.

He needs to up his searches!!

I don’t think it sounds like that. It sounds like they haven’t managed to align agendas between all of the people who need to discuss.

Sagedragon · Yesterday 23:18

saminamama · Yesterday 19:13

He’s had a phone call today to say they haven’t yet lined up what they need to but once they have will let him know.

That sounds positive that they called him to let him know that things are still happening.

BlackRowan · Today 02:39

That’s actually somewhat positive. Either he is their top candidate or he is their second choice and they are waiting if first candidate accepts the offer.

if they are not interested they wouldn’t call

Snorerephron · Today 07:21

BlackRowan · Today 02:39

That’s actually somewhat positive. Either he is their top candidate or he is their second choice and they are waiting if first candidate accepts the offer.

if they are not interested they wouldn’t call

I disagree. I would have asked someone to call round all the candidates if our decision was delayed

I can't imagine being so disrespectful as to just not let someone know they hadn't got the job after they have gone through an interview process

(I hope your DH is successful though @saminamama Smile)

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