Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

[Unsurree]

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

He was unreasonable to storm off, @Unsurree, but given that he and dd were crabbing, your request was unreasonable too - their hands were going to get dirty so it would be pointless for him to wash his hands.

Dude wasn't eating it, he was trying to feed it to crabs.

How often do crabs and raw bacon feature in your sex life...?

I didn't want to traumatize the OP too much at once.

Can’t you carry some hand gel ? He could’ve rinsed them in the sea. Obviously he could’ve then washed them later on before eating etc with soap. Presumably a few mins later he would be back handling the net again and crabs etc hopefully! So I can’t see the point of washing his hands in between. As long as he’s not sucking on his fingers! Tbh after beach and sea water you all need to wash your hands before ingesting anything or touching mouth!

Right, but the question of whether or not it's safe to eat raw bacon isn't a matter of opinion, it's a matter of fact. Saying 'in my opinion it's safe to eat raw bacon' is like saying 'in my opinion cancer is good for you', or 'in my opinion heroin isn't addictive'. It's just verifiably untrue.

I know what you mean OP. I'd always wash my hands in the crab bucket of water and have a little pack of wipes. Touching raw meat makes me shudder. We did once try smelly cheese for crabbing and did ok.

I would have just told you no, stop being neurotic. I imagine that you would have then been in a passive aggressive superior huff and ruined the crabbing vibe for everyone, but please continue to bask in your self righteousness because he muttered at you whilst obeying your silly command.

You've missed the posts up thread about raw bacon being the same as deli meats. 😵‍💫

Fishermen spend all day touching all kinds of ‘undesirable’ bait…including maggots, live worms (red worms, nightcrawlers), minnows, leeches, and crickets…to name but a few! Both my dad and brothers dish regularly and as a child I’d occasionally go with them. Do you think fishermen nip off to the pub everytime they cast their line OP?

You are being utterly ridiculous here (as are the rest of the posters saying you were right!) Christ alive! 🤯😵‍💫

I would have taken wipes and hand sanitiser and offered DH a squirt in that situation.

He would have rolled his eyes that I’m neurotic and then done it to please me and because it doesn’t hurt him.

the problem here isn’t the interaction itself but the fact you and your DH aren’t getting along.

tl:dr it isn’t about the bacon.

And even if his hands were clean as possible, they were going to get dirty again once he was dealing with crabs, nets, more bait etc.

Presumably he was wanting a fun day out with his family - I can imagine the OP would have something to say if he had a quick drink!

Thats fine if he doesn’t mind you doing that - but OP’s DH sounds like he’s at the end of his tether and it’s possibly not the first time she has treated him like a toddler

So, by that logic one should never wash their hands. 🙄

It may be cured but it’s not cooked, so no it’s not safe to eat raw bacon

Probably not the first time he's acted like one either.

😂😂
Children of the 70s and 80s …. How on earth are we still alive? 🤷🏼‍♀️😬

OP you sound very controlling. He is a grown adult. You have also alluded that this happens regulary making it sound like he is hen pecked and is always getting told what to do by you. I'm not suprised he has had enough.

You do know curing bacon and smoking it doesn’t cook it?

No wonder everyone is sick when they have no immunity. Anyway crabs are Muslim!

What, like they go to prayers and things 😱

Or.... how inconsiderate to not clean dirty hands? 🤷‍♀️

Tricky situation, I’d have liked my dh to wash his hands for dis’s sake, however asking dhs to wash their hands rarely goes well, particularly if it’s a hassle.