Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

[Unsurree]

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

When they were going to get filthy the minute he came back and touched anything. It must be exhausting washing your hands every minute or so when you are doing a dirty task.

So much for a nice family day out

I think they should have had wipes and towels.

Actually how would the child know as she presuming wouldn’t be going into the gents with him

So do I if the OP is that bothered

Slightly off-topic but one thing about Covid, you nearly always had hand sanitiser with you for this sort of situation. I've tried carrying it post-pandemic but because the urgency and reminders have gone, what happens is I forget to transfer it to different bags so it languishes in a forgotten bag and dries up.

Coming back onto topic - I wouldn't be hugely worried about a bit of 'bacon juice' on my hands in this situation. Washing would be more a nice to have, do it at the next opportunity rather than making a special trip. I'd probably have dunked my hands in the river I was fishing in.

I have crabbed with raw bacon many times, never washed my hands, even eaten my sarnies with my raw bacon smeared crabby hands, and never fallen sick from it.

It's also worth pointing out OP's concern was largely because their dc is 3, so more susceptible to illness/serious illness from contamination. Salmonella ain't a joke. 😵‍💫

No it isn’t - but presumably he wasn’t going to stick his fingers in her mouth?

yabu op. The time for handwashing is at the end of an activity like this, not mid way through.

The mind boggles, @Hoolieghoul! 😂

No, but handle her food? Touch her face, hands...

It's been fun!

@Mumtobabyhavoc so often would hands be washed if you were crabbing? And to be fair with the state of our waterways I think raw bacon is the least of our worries!

Honestly, he has a point.

No they're not - they eat bacon.

Bacon isn’t exactly raw meat.

However if you’d said it was raw chicken I’d agree with you.

You are being unreasonable to think what he did was your choice. I'd have left you to it as well. Let another adult make decisions for themselves.

So how often would he need to wash his hands to be acceptable?

A 3-y-o is more likely to get ill from whatever's in the sea water than from supermarket bacon.

This entirely. You can't mitigate against life. Let the nipper develop an immune system.

Gawd, it's basic hygiene! Raw meat = wash hands so no, not being unreasonable. I have this issue with my partner too. He'll put a chicken into the oven for the cat, but forgets to wash his hands before he uses oven door and temp knobs. I have to remind him like a schoolboy, not a 60 year old adult who should know better. It's every time whenever he handles raw meat.

He sounds nasty and dirty.
Are you happy OP?
It sounds like a very stressful set up.
Washing your hands after touching raw meat is so bloody basic.
He sounds like a petulant man child.

It's still covered in bacteria.

I’d be pretty pissed off if my partner was treating me like a child and telling me ‘now go and wash your hands’.
im not a child.

If you have a major issue with cleanliness like this
1- have a word with him about it, as an adult to adult
2- plan ahead - has anyone got wipes or a small bottle of alcohol gel? I mean, what would you have done it there had been no pub nearby? Worry? Ask him to drive somewhere he can wash his hands? Forget about it and carryon enjoying your day?
3- I get you’re worried about taking some days off to care for your dd. But then the answer here is to SHARE the care of your DD. She is his child too right? And let’s be honest here, how often has she been off ‘because if bad hygiene’ vs getting ‘a virus’ from other kids…..

Of course you wash your hands after handling meat, but;

There's no point if as soon as you get back you'll be handling more bacon, crabs and water from the estuary. You do it when you're finished, and obviously, before anyone eats anything.

You can't just waltz into a pub to use the facilities if you're not a customer.

Being sent to wash his hands like a child must have spoiled what should have been a fun activity he'd just spent time setting up. Nothing like ruining the moment.