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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

463 replies

Unsurree · 30/03/2026 15:29

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

OP posts:
Usernamenotav · 04/04/2026 21:54

LeopardStar1 · 01/04/2026 07:03

Why do you think she spoke to him like a child? She prompted him to do something he should have done automatically

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He shouldn't have done it automatically. How ridiculous

Usernamenotav · 04/04/2026 21:56

LeopardStar1 · 01/04/2026 19:11

Just educate yourself on cross contamination. For example, if I touch raw meat and then touch my child's doll because she's dropped it and then passed my daughter her drinks bottle, I'm going to have to clean all of those things once I've cleaned my hands. If I just wash my hands after touching meat....... Saves me hassle. Common sense

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They're crabbing! He's going to be touching it over and over again. The sensible thing in your scenario would be to not bring kids toys along.

Easterbunnyishotandcross · 04/04/2026 22:00

Your dc won't live respecting their df when he is spoken to like a naughty teen db instead of an equal parent..

Grendel7 · 04/04/2026 23:11

Unsurree · 30/03/2026 15:29

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable! Raw bacon then dealing with a child,aarrghh! Did covid teach us nothing about hand hygiene? So everyone has just gone back to being disgusting then?
I keep wipes in my car for after getting petrol,who knows what has touched those pumps,but I never see anyone else do this. Supermarket trolleys too...it just makes sense to keep hands clean.

Grendel7 · 04/04/2026 23:12

tartyflette · 30/03/2026 15:33

What bugs are on raw bacon? It is already cured and is perfectly safe to even eat when ‘raw’, just like Parma ham, or Spanish jamón, for example

Am NOT eating at yours yak!

Grendel7 · 04/04/2026 23:14

tartyflette · 30/03/2026 15:34

Bacon is not raw, it has been cured and possibly even smoked too.

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It is raw until cooked! Wow, how many of you think its safe raw. Frightening!

Grendel7 · 04/04/2026 23:17

Unsurree · 30/03/2026 15:39

@CookingFatCat I actually said I would feel
comfortable if he washed his hands afterwards as I was worried dd would put her hands in her mouth. He then huffed and puffed and was quite unpleasant and said I was over the top and crazy. I then said please don’t be unkind I just want to ensure dd isn’t exposed to raw meat. That’s when he stormed off muttering

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My sympathies. He is a git.
Raw bacon harbours food borne salmonella campilobacter,listeria,tapeworm and many more!

Grendel7 · 04/04/2026 23:20

Hoolieghoul · 30/03/2026 15:40

Bacon should be cooked before eating, and therefore hands should be washed after touching raw bacon. Even though it has been cured and possibly smoked, it's not fully cooked and is capable of carrying salmonella, listeria and other bacteria.

Standard supermarket bacon is not the same as something like prosciutto, which is not raw in the way bacon is. It has been heavily salted and left to cure in controlled conditions for months, a process which is hostile to harmful bacteria. Bacon is cured, but still moist and uncooked, and not aged for long enough to eliminate bacterial risk.

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Well said,can't believe how many people think its like handling ham!!!
Bacon is raw until cooked and it is frightening how many people don't know this!

HJC88 · 05/04/2026 07:16

Baby wipes - simples

salsapasta · 05/04/2026 08:49

Sea, then wipes and sanitizer. Did you not have these with you?
Absolutely a must to clean hands when handling raw meet

crumpet · 05/04/2026 08:52

FFS enjoy the crabbing together and then you can all wash your hands. Why send him off just as the fun is about to start? That’s mean, especially as he’s the one who did the prep!

TroysMammy · 05/04/2026 18:50

It's cured to stop it spoiling but it's still raw and needs to be cooked. Why do you think that eg a packet of pork chops has a use by date 4 days later but bacon has a use by date of 3 weeks later? Ffs I despair of people's logic and understanding of cooked, raw, cured and preserved.

HiEarthlings · 07/04/2026 15:46

outerspacepotato · 30/03/2026 15:42

🤣

Carry some hand sanitizer. He sounds like he struggles with hygiene.

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No, it sounds like he suffers with a nagging wife.....

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