Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

[Unsurree]

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

He needs a crash course in food hygiene, and food contamination.
Sorry, but he sounds like bit dim and a knob

Maybe if you go out again. You could take some disposable, antibacterial wipes.

I might have to start a thread about if there any other raw sausagers out there!

How strange. I had an absolute compulsion and would sneak into the fridge to pinch them 😳

I agree I find it absolutely 🤮 to think about it now. It never made me ill, did it affect you @Wecanagreetodisagree?

Good job I’m not an Israelite eh?

I also ate jelly squares (and still do!).

🙄

What about good boy chocs for the dog and cooking chocolate if you were desperate - usually after mum telling me to have a jam sandwich if I was hungry 🤤

nope no affects

did you see liviadrucila still eats them raw!!!

I'd be more concerned that you were showing your toddler how to kill living creatures or, hoping you put them back unharmed, that you're showing her how to torture them for your own amusement!

Definitely you.

Never pinched the dog chocolate but often pinched the cooking chocolate and Heinz baby chocolate pudding jars were never safe! 😂

I’m really surprised by anyone saying you’re being unreasonable. Of course you should wash your hands after handling raw meat. I’m definitely the one to remind my husband of these things too but he wouldn’t react like that- very annoying making you feel bad for being perfectly sensible. I suppose at least he did it! I would bring hand sanitizer wipes with you next time so you can just give him one of those and might save the muttering. I do realise that’s even more mental load for you but sometimes you have to pick your battles.

I’m really surprised by anyone saying you’re being unreasonable. Of course you should wash your hands after handling raw meat. I’m definitely the one to remind my husband of these things too but he wouldn’t react like that- very annoying making you feel bad for being perfectly sensible. I suppose at least he did it! I would bring hand sanitizer wipes with you next time so you can just give him one of those and might save the muttering. I do realise that’s even more mental load for you but sometimes you have to pick your battles.

You are the one changing the putrid bedding in the night, breaking your heart while your little one pukes her guts up knowing you might have been the one to pass on those germs to her. So no. YANBU. If I can prevent my little one from this then I will. She's still building her immune system eating dirt. Food poisening is different. I wouldn't want my little one suffering because I didn't wash my hands

You're treating your husband like hes a child. Is it the end of the world if he didn't wash his hands. What about the crabs, sand, the sea? Does he need to wash his hands when touching them too? You spoilt the fun moment, its that simple. But it sounds like you often do that by your husbands comment/response.
Regarding your child getting ill, she could pick germs up from anywhere. They help build immune systems. Try stop fussing over minor issues and instead try to lighten up and have a little fun with your family.

We live near to sea with a crabbing pool
just washed our hands when we got back
never ill and we all survived

breaking your heart is a touch dramatic

honestly nowadays there’s so much hysteria I think the next generation are going to be scared of there own shadow

You should take measures to remove dirt and bacteria from your hands etc… whenever there is a pause in an activity or you are likely to touch your face, mouth, nose, ears or objects that may harbour germs.

Incidentally, I guess an easy way to describe it to you is this, which is to treat potentially contaminated water / material on your hands in the same as you would after you wipe your bottom after doing a poo or handling raw chicken!

Up to you. I'm not a germaphobe but I draw the line at raw meat.

I think it was a bit pointless as his hands would be getting wet and dirty whilst fishing/crabbing anyway.

I don’t understand why DD was just watching and he wasn’t letting her do it too.
Then you could have asked that he washes DD hands, which would do his at the same time.

The issue here is you talking to him like a child.

I don’t think anyone has asked me to wash my hands after the age of about 8.
I would be very offended and angry if someone did.

We always take wet wipes and hand sanitizer when we go crabbing. It would be a right faff to have to go wash your hands every time you put bacon in the net.

"Please don't be unkind" - do grown adults, married to each other, actually speak this way?

I don't blame him for storming off, sounds like you treat him like a toddler.

He could've washed his hands after crabbing which is hardly a clean activity to begin with. Or if you're so obsessed with hygiene you could've brought sanitiser or wipes.

Seems like you ruined what should have been a fun activity tbh.

OP, I feel like if you'd asked him to wash his hands after doing something all these raw bacon eaters think is gross they wouldn't have come down on you so hard. I think they feel called out and so they're assuming you're a neurotic, micromanaging, infantalising, bossy harridan. Which, to be fair, you might well be! But we can't tell that from your post. Some real misogyny here, excusing nasty behaviour from a man on the assumption that his wife is henpecking nightmare, with zero evidence.

Well exactly. It sounds like the OP is used to treating her husband like he’s a toddler

Not sure why it’s so complicated. It wasn’t about the bacon. It was about the fact he was going to continue to get dirty.

if he was changing cat litter trays then washing hands after is obviously something you need to do (and I’m sure he would have done that) but OP is asking the equivalent of changing one tray, going over the road to wash your hands, changing another tray, washing your hands etc.

The evidence is that OP told a grown man to wash his hands (which were going to get dirty again)

She says he gets angry - I’m willing to bet this is not the first time she has talked to him like that.

😂🤣

Unclench OP!

Im going to guess this isn’t your first and only request to him that he has perceived negatively. I would imagine you are regularly demanding he does things that you think are correct and he thinks are unnecessary and over the top.

when And how many times did OP wash her hands

Honestly, I never wipe my bottom after handling raw chicken.