Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

[Unsurree]

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

I had a bit of a ‘thing’ for eating raw sausages as a kid. Wouldn’t do it now but I have lasted 63 years without illnesses connected with food.

Perhaps it would be easier to have a bottle of hand sanitizer in your bag/pocket.

Okay again I ask.. if you are doing a dirty activity like this, how often should you wash your hands? Nobody seems to be capable of answering this.

We use bacon rind for crabbing! The crabs love it and it’s nice to treat them for the bizarre experience. If you were relaxing at home and someone wafted a burger at you and so you grabbed it and then were lifted up out of your house and into the sky, peered at for a few minutes by a giant (we never touch) and then handed another burger into your other hand and lowered back down, I’d say that was a fair trade off!

We only go once a year though to our local harbour. Then we all go into the pub and wash our hands before having half a cider.

Yes it’s the micromanaging that would have peed him off - it’s obv a feature of your relationship or he wouldn’t have complied immediately

Yeah, I have 'low standards' - don't faint at the sight of the toilet brush, don't wash towels after every use, and wouldn't even think of trekking to wash my hands in OP's case. Lived to 38 happily and perfectly healthy, and will continue to do so. Low standards and all.

On the other hand, I - a fully adult woman - wouldn't let someone boss me about like a parent, and order me to wash my hands. I'd tell OP 'no', followed by 'fuck off' if she kept on nagging me. I'd go to the pub and wouldn't come back.

OP it's you, not him. Your neurosis and obsessions are for you to deal with. You have no right to mummy your adult husband.

It was ‘high up on an estuary’ apparently and it wasn’t possible to do that I think.

And the OP appears not to have taken wipes - which seems odd given how upset she seems to be.

OP is responsible for spoiling the day - blaming the husband for reacting is a joke. I would not let anyone speak to me like a child (I’m surprised she didn’t use the phrase ‘kind hands’ as well). She says there have been a fair few instances of this recently - I wonder if that was in response to the OP treating him like a child?

Basic levels of hygiene have kept us safe for Ions

So again.. how many times should he have had to wash his hands? There is obviously an acceptable timeframe.

We wash our hands afterwards and that is it. But the bacon is pre cut and only my husband puts it on the hook (before anyone says anything, the crabs don’t get hurt by the hook, they just cling onto it and then get extra bacon or we feed the gobies in the sea wall holes). I don’t think you need to keep washing your hands personally. Haven’t ever got sick from this and use the SAS website to check sewage situation.

Underrated comment.

@wellstopdoingitthen I had a bit of a ‘thing’ for eating raw sausages as a kid. Wouldn’t do it now but I have lasted 63 years without illnesses connected with food.

I think you should do a bit of homework about raw pork.

There's a reason why ancient Israelites designated it as an "unclean" food.

I don’t think there is a rule

I was agreeing with you

Omg wellstopdoingitthen

* I a bit of a ‘thing’ for eating raw sausages as a kid. Wouldn’t do it now but I have lasted 63 years without illnesses connected with food.*

we used to as well - I’ve never been able to find anyone that did!!! They tasted so good - obv now I’m 🤢 at the thought

and we used to eat jelly cubes

It was unclear.

everyone saying the DH should have washed his hands after handling the bacon - he was going to have filthy hands again straight away. It’s a legitimate question. He washes his hands, his hands get manky again, how long is it acceptable to have dirty hands before he had to wash them again.

I still eat raw sausages and bacon.

I suspect you could do a whole spreadsheet for the variables 😂

did he touch anything? Scratch his bum? 😂

Do you - amazing

I’ve got to ask - why???

Yeah this, OP. I’d have been annoyed if I was your DH too!

Because it tastes nice. Just like other posters have said.

I’m blown away!!!

Oh I ADORE a spreadsheet 😬

Grow up!

The ancient Israelites did not have access to parasiticides, vaccines or antibiotics. While I still wouldn't encourage eating raw pork, the reasons that eating it has historically been a problem are largely eliminated through modern farming practices.

Well - there you go!

although if your eating the raw pork I think you don’t have to worry about the jus touching it

aren’t you worried about stuff tha cooking kills

No not at all. I’m 55 and not had an issue yet