Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

My response to that would have been “I’m not laughing…”

Do you know any of the other partners/wives OP? I’d be letting them know too.

Edited to add, I agree with others he knows and is trying to make light of it. If I came across this information on a stag my DH was going to attend I’d be disgusted in him and there’s no way he’d be coming back home if he still chose to attend best man or not.

What do you expect with a reply though?

He will come back reacting with shock, saying he had no idea, didn’t know, etc etc. However, that is complete bunk, of course he knows. He’s just going to play the dumb card because he has been caught out.

God that's grim.

Men really can be gross can't they?

Is your DP the type of man who would go to a strip club?

All I will add is, that just because this may be in the plans and on the agenda, for some of them, doesn't mean they will all chose to go inside and entertain any of this.

Do you trust your DP if he says he has no intention of going in?

My DH hates them and would never be persuaded to step foot inside one and would actually have a grim view of any of this 'mates' that did do. And I would trust him fully that if ever he went on a stag do and it was suggested he would rather take himself back early than go in.

Do you know any of the other wags, OP?

OWO is oral without. As in oral without a condom.

Most of these are abbreviations are common within the sex industry. They're going on the stag do as sex tourists. Your husband will know what's going on.

My exH was using sex workers, and I didn't think he'd be that "type" in million years. A lot of men are total wronguns and their wives sit at home completely unaware. Don't let him manipulate you into thinking that he didn't know, or he wasn't going to do anything.

The company that people keep says a lot about them. Birds of a feather...

I am not sure how your relationship will get past this. I know mine would not have done. It shows a shallow mindset and a total contempt for women.

I would send a SS of the original page and explaining the meanings to every single wife/partner of the group.

Since yours has been doing the organising I wouldn't believe him not knowing in a million years.

Utterly disgusting.

Don’t have anything to say as I think now you know what the abbreviations mean there’s only one course of action, but I am very sorry and I hope you have a good support system. Personally I would let the bride know but at the end of the day it’s down to you.

Also he’s dumb as fuck planning something like this where you can see it. Not only is he a sleeze he’s a fucking moron, which is a good thing I guess.

Its grim but I'm not sure why anyone is surprised that men use sex workers. Also not sure why it is anything to do with DP. He didn't write the thing. Apparently this stuff happens on most stags (and any other day of the year). It'll be a fairly normal heavy drinking kind of day, some afternoon activity like paintball or whatever, dinner, then more drinking. 2am most go home but some go off for the seedy stuff.

Bloody hell! You’re good!

Yep and FS is full service not full sex. Extremely common acronym in the sex industry.

Send that list to every other dw...

Ew why are men so bloody vile! I think you've nailed it.

Unless he is now telling his “mates” that he’s no longer going on this stag do when clearly the main intention of the group is to use prostitutes and he’s not comfortable being part of that group, you need to seriously reconsider your relationship.

Absolutely zero chance I would be OK with the explanation that he had no idea - using those acronyms without ever having discussed previously would be bizarre as nobody would understand. The use of acronyms smacks of secrecy and previous discussions beforehand such that everyone knew what they meant. V unlikely some wrong’un in the group just assumed everyone would want to budget for the use of prostitutes and circulate that to the whole group via a shared cloud platform apropos of nothing!

He's probably furiously messaging the other stags 'shit my Mrs is onto us, what do I do?'!

I would message the other wags you know and ask if they know what the abbreviations mean....

OWO is oral without a condom. I would be pretty horrified by this list. So basically a stag weekend which involves prostitutes and lap dancing. I would be horrified.

Sadly your partner now has all day whilst at work to warn the other stags and all of them concoct stories and alternate meanings for those abbreviations. He will also practice telling you with a straight face.

he will lie to you. He’s not going to admit he knew what it all meant or that he was planning on using the services.

I would set up a group chat with as many of the other wives/girlfriends as you can, send the photo and the list of the abbreviations meanings. Before their partners get in there first with lies.

Men are pigs.

https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/relationships/sex/owo-dfk-ro-the-slang-sex-workers-use-explained/news-story/eb30efa5b7584205ae22fd110fdce7d1

OWO is Oral WithOut (without a condom and no penetration)

The use of acronyms smacks of secrecy and previous discussions beforehand such that everyone knew what they meant. V unlikely some wrong’un in the group just assumed everyone would want to budget for the use of prostitutes and circulate that to the whole group via a shared cloud platform apropos of nothing

Exactly this.
Easy for your DP to say he'd never go to a strip club, how would you know?
For me, at this point, if he went on the stag, the relationship would be over. I couldn't sit at home wondering what he was doing and never knowing the truth. It would eat away at me.

Even if he is "innocent" (haha) would he be happy with you going away with a bunch of women who all planned to cheat on their partners? I suspect not!

This is why I don't even date the type of men who think this sort of stag is "normal" and a "good laugh". It's totally grim.

I would probably put all those in a spreadsheet. column A: abbreviation, column B: full terms, column C: prices before sending to WAGs.

Lays out the data nice and clearly.

Agree with the definitions, unfortunately discovered these terms through my cheating ex.

In addition:

PM, SO = prostate massage, strap on

I’m sorry OP x

I'd rethink my marriage to a man who went on this trip.

SC sex /strip club
PD private dance
MP massage parlour
FS full sex
HR Hand relief
OWO oral with orgasm - aka swallowing

Oh reading through and @AnAppleAWeekhas already said

Guess wait and see what he says @WestlieJ but 🤮🤮🤮

out of interest - those voters saying being unreasonable - for what reason?