Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

"concoct alternate meanings for those abbreviations"

• and the OP can come back with, "Buulllshiiiit."

Wow.
I’d be prepared to have a FULL sti check if you sleep with him ever again after his return.

This is one of those circumstances where I’m afraid I would have to tell the bride. It makes me sick to think of a poor innocent woman potentially being given life altering sexual diseases by her ape of a fiance.

Thats before I can even compute how little these poor sex workers are receiving.

I totally agree with you that this is what happens on stag dos and with certain guys on nights out

But you seem to be presenting it as though it's no big deal. And that if some guy's go home rather than go off to buy women then that's ok then.

I don't accept that a man who hangs around with men who buy women doesn't have exactly the same attitude to his pals. He wouldn't be friendly with them if he had any respect for women.

Personally I don' t understand how women have been conditioned to accept this stag do culture. The thought of all these guys sat at the wedding laughing about what they got up to behind their partners backs turns my stomach.

I personally wouldn't be in a relationship with a man whose social circle thought going on these stag dos was a way of supposedly celebrating a forthcoming wedding. They make a mockery of marriage. And a mockery of women.

It's so grim, desperate men paying for sex.

Unfortunately I think you showed your hand by asking him what they meant because you can't prove he had read them and understood their meaning.

I think I'd feel sick the entire time he was away no matter what he says.

This isn't nice but I wouldn't assume your husband would automatically get involved in this stuff. Plenty of men will go away on a stag do and not go o a SC or MP when the other men do.

I'm not sure this is entirely fair just because stag dos aren't always an existing big group. Sometimes the groom wants his best mate, couple of brothers, cousin, gym friend, work friend, the bride's brother and so on.

When I last went on a hen weekend for my childhood best friend I'd only met 2 out of 20 attendees.

Of course he knew. He’s just acting innocent to save an argument with you. If you really think he doesn’t know, and isn’t involved then you’re super naive. He’s the best man and you don’t think he’s had any conversations about stag do expectations and plans. Come on.

Your partner is co-organising it, but the poor lamd has no idea what the other best man is talking about,. didn't see it, and, having now had his attention drawn to it, he hasn't gone back to ask for extra information?

i can't think of a single way that this would happen under a woman's watch. Because its bollocks.

Perhaps would have waited and put him in the spot when he got home and with faux naivety asked him to call the other best man for details.

I used to live in Amsterdam and it used to absolutely sicken me seeing groups of men egging each other on.

I was waiting for someone outside the big church once. There are 3 'windows' right next to it and I saw one man ( I'd say in his late 30's) go in and his mate waited outside for him. When the guy came out they set off up the street absolutely roaring with laughter, clearly there was a blow by blow account of the proceedings going on. That image has really stayed with me- it sums up how low men can be.

Reply to him saying "what's funny is the full STI check you'll be having before you ever come near me again." And get him to google urethral swab.

Of course he knows and it’s all been previously discussed.

If he were mine he wouldn’t be going on this stage so or any future ones.

Personally if I thought my DP needed an STI check, my vagina would be firmly clamped shut.

Stag dos are fucking disgusting in almost every case. Your other half might be laughing this off, but he's co-organising it sooooo.....

It's grim isn't it, sending a list like that is like sending out a menu asking people what they want when ordering a takeaway. Women's bodies, dignity and safety are just a commodity to be used for men. Whether it's the sex worker or the partner at home, all just disposable and not worthy of basic decency from them.

I wasn't the type to ban my husband from these type of events, I always thought we had a very honest relationship and he was always very happy to spill the beans on others to me, I knew all about his (married/LTR) friends penchants for lap dancing clubs ETC. Anyway, he cheated on me on a stag do in Benidorm (Benidorm is another red flag BTW, incase anyone needs to know) when our baby wasn't even 12 months old. He'll be banned from stag dos for the rest of eternity, and he's going to struggle to convince me to be OK with going out on general nights out with anyone in his friendship group ever again tbh. Birds of a feather flock together, girls.

I wouldn't even wait for his inevitably poor follow up. Now you know what is planned, he needs to not go at all.

What is it with these types of stag do’s? I know it was years ago but my DH went to a nice Chinese restaurant in our town, with my dad, brothers, his dad, brother in law’s and a couple of others.

Sc = strip club PD = private dance

I was on a train (at one of the tables so almost trapped) with 5 guys, probably late 20's / early 30's going on a Stag. They were off to Northumberland to do fossil hunting with a professional host and had a couple of bottles of different premium single malt Whisky for their evening at an AirB&B. Lots of funny banter between them. I think of them often, and fondly.

I am so grossed out at the OP's post and that "shopping list".

Gross.

So worst case scenario, he's planning to use sex workers. Best case scenario, he is happy to keep company with men who do and who plan the entire stag around it.

Either way I'd be packing his bags. Sorry, OP.

Something very sad about these men using all these codes, like nobody could crack them with 5 mins on google. What a bunch of losers.

(Edited as originally misread and thought OPs partner was the stag)

You know that he knew the plan, saw the list and knows the meaning of every abbreviation there.

Because he’s done it before. Probably on his own stag do and that of all of his mates. It’s so normal to them that they stick it at the bottom of the itinerary so they can plan spending and withdraw the cash before the trip. They all know that the main way to get caught is by bank statement so this way they can plan ahead and not get caught.

Send the itinerary to every wife you know, including the bride. He’s fucking laughing in your face OP!

Agree with sending this information to other wives/partners! What a cunt.

What a revolting group of men.

I’m sorry that happened to you. That is where they are going funnily enough.

I do trust DP, and know he finds the dynamics of the group a bit uncomfortable. He knows only a handful of those going, and isn’t close to the other best man.

I said to him when I saw the list that I’ve never known a stag do to be ‘costed’ and that seems overly thoughtful for a group of men. His response was the best man is mindful it’s a cost of living crisis and he doesn’t want people to lose out when exchanging left over funds. I think the real reason is now clear!