Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

I had one deleted for similar reasons, I'm guessing to the same misogynist.

How dare we?

Ironic, if you'd read the thread you'd have seen that was answered. 😂

Are you okay OP

Shes swimming up the nile

I'll get my coat 😊

OP I absolutely thought this as well. Men just aren't usually that organised. Women ...yes, but not men. The fact that he gave 'budgets' made me lol.

Just because thats the plan for some men, doesn't mean its his plan. He isnt hiding anything, he didnt go mad when you asked him, he even called you wagatha, so he knows your looking. Sound like theres a mix of men going, the 'what happens on a lads holiday stays on a lads holiday' type, and the other type, decent and who are just there for a beer and a break. Id say trust him, until he gives you something not to trust him about, he knows your couple boundaries. Id send him off on his way and tell him to have a good time.

Such sad reading.
It isn’t all men, but it sure is a lot of them.
If a friend sent me a similar list regarding the buying and abusing of men, there would be no mental gymnastics to quickly see them as nothing but absolutely morally corrupt.
Why do some men see women and other men most probably as little more than there for their pleasure and entertainment.

Sad. You think it’s appropriate for these men to go on their merry way with some choosing to abuse women on route?

I would be very disappointed with DH if he went on holiday with a group of men half of whom were planning to exploit women, even if DH was not going to take part. He would still be complicit. Men need to call out this behaviour, none of this what happens on lads holidays stays on lads holiday crap

🙄 She isn't responsible for the actions of the other men in the group, she isn't even responsible for her husband's actions.

And to be honest, I can't see anywhere in my post, where I have suggested that is the case 🤔

@CuppaTeaBab do you think men should call out behaviour of other men, or just ignore it?

She's not but the what goes on on a lads holiday stays on a lads holiday is when a group of men who have slept with sex workers behind their partners back are going to be coming back home - and she'll be at the wedding knowing what's gone on

My sympathies are with the bride. The groom doesn't live or respect her. The marriage isn't going to last.
Someone should tell her to cancel the wedding now.
Imagine the poor woman, we assume she is deeply in love with the groom. She's probably enthusing to all her friends, planning the dress, hair, makeup, reception, a million and one things.
Meanwhile, let's be honest, the groom is letting her get on with it because he's planning on having oral without condom and other things.
It's sordid and sickening. And she's in lovey dovey oblivion.
It's OK for op. She's quite content with her partner going on the stag do. She has no control over him and is fine with that.
Personally, I'd be stamping my foot. No way would a partner of mine be partaking in that. I demand respect.

Irrelevant if your a man or a women, then if you dont agree with something you should tell them if you feel comfortable to do so. But ultimately, they will do what they want to do, you have no control over their behaviour. Everyone has a different opinions on what is right and wrong.

OP has said he doesn't know the men. He knows the stag, who has had nothing to do with the arrangements.

He knows some of them according to the Op

Even if he knows some, he is only responsible for his own actions.

My main issue is there is alot of jumping to conclusions, a lot of man hating. The guy hasn't even gone on the stag do and he has been vindicated, all because some of the other guys in the group may or may not go to a lap dancing club.

I've been on hen do's with people I dont know. I met people I didnt like, people who I didnt agree with or liked their views. I gave my options, but at the end of the day they still had their views and I had mine. I steered clear of them and steered clear of their shenanigans.

You meet people in life who will not share your views, you cant change them all.

No you can't but there's a price list circulating of kinds of sex services they can get from sex workers - in that case if I were the husband I would be saying thanks but no thanks and opting out

I don’t know what’s more of an ick. Doing any of those things or the fact one of them worked out the expenses for everyone and shared them.

We're not talking about a bit of lap dancing. Or people with differing views. We're talking about them planning in advance, sex with vulnerable women who are very likely to be trafficked. Have you seen the prices in the OP? These are women who are made to have sex with and give blow jobs to dirty drunk men for a pittance. I can't believe this kind of thing has happened at the hen dos that you're referring to. It is irrelevant that OP's husband is (allegedly) not taking part. He is going along with this behaviour that is so degrading and damaging to women.

*My main issue is there is alot of jumping to conclusions, a lot of man hating. The guy hasn't even gone on the stag do and he has been vindicated,

I think you mean vilified.

But yeah, I'm ok with vilifying a man who sends around a PDF containing a price list of sex acts to those going on the stag do. The prices are low enough to indicate that the women involved are trafficked. The act of sending it made him complicit in raping trafficked women.

He's not being forced at gunpoint to spread that list or go to a sex tourist destination. He did that freely and he said he's going. Hanging with rapists is not problematic for him. He thinks sourcing the price list from a British John make the list ethical which is just whacker than whack. So he can fuck off.

How many of the women in the hen do had forced sex with trafficked and vulnerable men?

But you can call them out, disassociate yourself and not go ‘on your merry way’ with their abusive behaviour alongside.

This made me cry because it is so inherently true.

Not to miss the point but "vindicated" usually means to be cleared of blame or proven correct in a belief.

But also. A bit of "man hating" by which you mean them rightly being called out on abhorrent behaviours, is not equivalent to the trafficking of women and girls (bc let's face it, they have no way of knowing their ages) and the gross monetised rape that is socially permitted by the euphemistic term "stag do".

And that's not even mentioning the rights of their wives and girlfriends not to be put at risk when they bring an STI or three back.

And I know. Namalt.

No idea how I did the mega quote above apologies!